Nhlalwenhle Ncube
WHEN you thought all was well and you had finally found that person whom you really feel is heaven sent, he then starts to ghost you.
The person who had promised to love you forever, just decides to change and develops a weird behaviour. You get lost, but the truth will be that he will be ghosting you. Ghosting is when your partner just turns cold and those sweet words of love and pleasurable acts become a thing of the past. It is heartbreaking because only actions will be doing the talk while you are in a dilemma of what’s happening.
Gone will be those days when you really felt love in the air and talked about everything that captured your attention. Unfortunately during conversations you start getting one word answers and all those countless messages and calls which poured in everyday just stop.
You get so confused and decide to confront your partner after realising that you can not continue this way because it hurts you so much. Sadly, you will be told that everything is okay even though it’s clear that things are not well.
Things will even get worse and he will not have time for you, always claiming to be busy. If you call, he will promise to return the call and never do. As time goes on, he will even start ignoring your messages and calls. You will be left with no choice but to think that maybe you messed up. Before you make your next move, you discover that you have been blocked on social media. You will be left in agony!
The truth will be that your partner will be ghosting you. This is when someone suddenly disappears from the relationship. Although nowadays its becoming a common thing, it is cowardly behaviour. It is better to end things than to just leave someone lost in the desert without a clue of what’s happening.
Some people take the cowardly way out by ghosting instead of being honest that they are no longer interested. It’s so painful for someone to promise you eternal love, but vanish the next day. Some even disappear soon after being intimate without any explanations. This is one heartbreaking thing especially for women! How could someone disappear after lit sex and mind blowing orgasms?
You are left wondering what it is that you did to offend her or him. The act of disappearing into thin air is painful torture. You better be honest and eliminate it once than to leave someone in the middle of nowhere. Ghosting your partner who is head over heels in love with you is not only cowardly, but heartbreaking.
Some potential ghosters will tell you that they do so as they fear emotional intimacy, that is fear of deeply caring for someone and being cared for. The relationship may be stable for a short time, but once something provokes this fear, it becomes a sad story.
Some excuses given by ghosters is that they feel breakups are awkward and unpleasant. They claim to be running away from breaking someone’s heart. Some will even claim the person they are ghosting was too good for them. Some ghost their partners because they may have lied about something when they met and they don’t want them to know about their fake lives. So the easy way out will be to cut ties than explain your lies.
Some like to make themselves larger than life. So it’s highly likely that any man doing the ghosting has realised it’s easier to cut off all contact with a woman than try to explain any of his lies. The fear of a violent reaction may also be behind some people ghosting their partners. Some people suddenly become violent and to avoid an aggressive reaction, someone will choose the disappearing act, suddenly disappearing to sustaining injuries from the woman he once dated.
If you are thinking about ghosting someone, consider some kinder options. Try to be mindful of the other person’s well-being and consider how you would like to be treated if you were in their place. Stop hurting your partner by ghosting them and expecting them to just move on with their lives. Maybe she may be capable of hearing your straightforward explanation of why you need to end the relationship. If you can’t find the words to explain your change of heart, try saying something as brief as, “This just isn’t working for me. It’s not your fault. I need to end this relationship.”
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