Hi Sis Noe
Is it possible to get pregnant while breastfeeding? — Curious.
Reply
Yes, it is possible to get pregnant within a few months after having a baby — even if you are still lactating. You may have heard about something called lactation amenorrhoea, or the breastfeeding method, which is a birth control method frequently used by new mothers. It works because breastfeeding causes a woman to stop ovulating and in turn, stop menstruating for about six months after giving birth. However, this contraception strategy only prevents pregnancy when under specific circumstances. This means that some new mums might still be at risk of pregnancy, depending on their particular breastfeeding situation.
Hi Sis Noe
I AM five months pregnant and still having sex with my husband. I want to know when I must stop. I don’t want to hurt my baby. — Curious.
Reply
Most women who are having a normal pregnancy can continue to have sex right up until their water breaks or they go into labour. You won’t hurt the baby by making love. The amniotic sac and the strong muscles of the uterus protect your baby, and the thick mucus plug that seals the cervix helps guard against infection. And while orgasm may cause mild uterine contractions (as can nipple stimulation and the prostaglandins in semen); they are generally temporary and harmless. There are many reasons why sex during pregnancy can be more enjoyable, even if you are doing it less. There is an increase in vaginal lubrication, the engorgement of the genital area helps some people become orgasmic for the first time or multi-orgasmic, the lack of birth control, or if you have been trying for a while, a return to pleasurable sex as opposed to pro-creational.
Hi Sis Noe
Is it possible for a woman to fall pregnant when she sleeps with a guy for the first time? — Curious.
Reply
Yes, a girl can become pregnant the first time she has sex. Anytime a girl has vaginal sex with a guy, she is at risk for becoming pregnant. Even if a guy ejaculates outside of but near a girl’s vagina or pulls out before he comes, a girl can get pregnant. Any time a man and a woman have intercourse, pregnancy is possible (of course, the chance of pregnancy is greatly reduced if you are using an effective method of birth control). All that needs to happen is for a sperm to get to an egg. Even if a young woman has never menstruated, she might have just ovulated (released an egg) for the first time. This would make her fertile and pregnancy possible. It’s also possible to get a sexually transmitted disease (STD) anytime you have sex, including the first time. Actually, whenever people have any kind of sexual contact (oral, anal, or vaginal) they run the risk of getting an STD. That is why condoms were invented, to prevent the transmission of such diseases and pregnancy of course.
Hi Sis Noe
Ever since I discovered that my wife was cheating on me I am struggling to find her sexually attractive. I have no desire to have sex with her. — Help.
Reply
The discovery of your wife’s cheating has destroyed not only your positive sense of coupledom with her, but also your somewhat idealised notion of her. I do not suggest that this will be an easy process, and you are already experiencing the longing and pain that accompanies such drastic and sudden shifts in a person’s conceptualisation of his love. But that pain usually leads to growth and important discoveries. True intimacy involves seeing your partner for who she truly is, so perhaps a less idealistic view of her will improve things between you. Allow yourself to be vulnerable in her presence, and try to express your true feelings, no matter how difficult it is. It is also important to recognise your role in helping to create a fragile union in the first place. Be kind to both of you, do the work and learn. If all that fails, walking away will be the wisest decision lest you hurt each other.
Hi Sis Noe
I am a 35-year-old man and I am afraid of women. I am not a virgin and I have had sex a few times but I am afraid to ask a woman out. In the past I have suffered from depression and low self-esteem, could that be the cause? — Depressed.
Reply
There are many kinds of phobias, and they are all treatable. Fear of women is usually based on anxiety. It develops in adolescence or adulthood, or it can be passed to a child by a phobic parent. If your phobia has its roots in a traumatic incident in your past, you need help to recover from this before you can relate comfortably to women and enjoy sex. Sometimes fear of women indicates sexual orientation issues, and these too can be resolved. I recommend that you seek psychotherapy from an accredited professional for the treatment of all your struggles, including your depression. You deserve to be far happier.
Hi Sis Noe
My problem is that I don’t climax during sex. I have had five sexual relationships but I have never had an orgasm. It’s only when I am sexting that I climax or when I watch porn and masturbate. I don’t know, is it me or my boyfriends were not good in bed? — Help.
Reply
Many women are not orgasmic on penetration alone but I think your problem is rather more complex. On a positive note, as you can climax on your own then when you are in the right relationship it should also be possible. You say you have had five sexual relationships. It sounds as if you are separating sex from love. What you need is a loving relationship with a man who you also find sexually attractive. If there was love and genuine trust between you, then you could really relax and enjoy making love. You could try lovemaking positions where, as well as penetration, he is able to caress the clitoris and also where you are relaxed enough to show him how you are able to be orgasmic.