Hi Sis Noe
MY girlfriend has cheated on me many times. I left her for that but she asked for forgiveness and I have forgiven her. I love her to death; do you think she has changed? Can I trust her? Has she learnt her lesson? Am I doing the right thing taking her back? — Cheated.
Reply
If you need to ask me a question like that then your love for her is blinding you. I want to ask you a question. If she was cheating on you with not one, but two other guys the first time around, what the, I will use the word “hell” for lack of a better word, would possibly make you think that has changed this time? Even if she has learned her “lesson” like you think, how long is that really going to last before she is looking for a new man or two on the side? Keep in mind that you found out about her little side deals, imagine if you hadn’t? You would still merrily sing love songs to her while she gets her jollies with the other guys. What if she does it to you again, but she is a bit smarter in hiding it? Imagine the other stuff she probably has not told you about. If she lies about who she is seeing, she probably lies about other things as well to you. Guess that is the chance you are taking. I would say she is not worth it, unless she comes up with some pretty amazing reasons why you should trust her again.
Hi Sis Noe
I am 22 and engaged to a man who is in the UK and he is promising to marry me next year. The problem is that I am having a fling with one of my superiors at work. He is married and has two children and is 44 years old. He tells me things I like to hear and treats me right more than my man does. Should I end the fling and devote myself to my boyfriend even though I have a lot in common with the man? — Confused.
Reply
There is a whole lot of stuff here that says end the fling. Right off the bat, you should not be marrying your boyfriend. If you are saying things about your fiancée like “he tells me things I like to hear and treats me right more than my man does” then you are not ready to be a wife. Let’s get real here, you are not even married and already both of you sound like you have fallen off the horse. As for that fool at work — this is a case of in the right place at the right time. Look at the scenario, he is 44 and you are 22, he is father of two and is married. Are these not signs that he is not into this as much as you think, or if he is, then he is a sick bastard? It’s so obvious that he probably is not happy with the home life factor, and at 44, a 22-year-old coming along and showing an interest is a perfect outlet away from that whole ball and chain marriage scene for him. It’s very easy for a married man who is not happy with his wife to sit and spill their heart out to a 22-year-old. It is also very easy for him to tell you the exact words you are looking for to get that warm fuzzy feeling, because trust me he has been there and done that years ago. He knows exactly what to say to get your little ticker going. If his current marriage was not on the rocks he probably would not even give you a passing thought. Let’s pretend it all goes your way and this fool wants to get serious with you, leaves his family behind to embrace you for eternal undeniable love. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO TALK ABOUT? You will die from boredom in no time. Wake up from this dream and love your man, your boss is using you.
Hi Sis Noe
Recently I married a 19-year-old woman. It’s now three months but she is not pregnant. Both of us are desperate for a child. Is there any help? — Worried.
Reply
Don’t you think it’s too soon to be anxious? I mean it’s only three months to be desperate. Pregnancy is a matter of chance. Conception does not always happen even if the egg and sperm are in the right place at the right time. The length of time it takes couples to conceive varies considerably — failing to conceive even after a year does not necessarily mean that something is wrong. The chance of getting pregnant during a woman’s cycle vary according to a wide range of factors: For a woman aged 20 to 25, the chances of conceiving are around 25 percent for each cycle (in other words, a one in four chance). Statistics prove that one in ten couples will take more than a year to conceive. One of the secret tips on getting pregnant really involves the woman’s monthly cycle . . . this should really not come as a surprise, but lots of women have probably forgotten lots of their basic biology. A woman ovulates once a month, and the ovum or egg last for approximately 12 hours. During this 12-hour period, the egg has to be fertilised or it dries up and is no longer viable. Obviously, then, having unprotected sex any other time of the month could not possible result in conception. It is only when you make love during the “12-hour window” that a couple can conceive — it’s really quite miraculous that a woman can even get pregnant at all.