Selusweyinkosi Mhlanga
When the word confidence comes to mind we are likely to imagine an event where one may need it but it is needed everyday as it contributes to our health, to us reaching milestones in our careers and in maintaining healthy relationships with others, hence its a virtue we must all possess.
Self-confidence is defined as a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment. From the way someone carries themselves you can tell whether they are confident or not. The body posture shows it clearly. A person who oozes confidence stands up straight and sits upright while one who isn’t may hang their shoulders or stoop without realising it. Calm and orderly conduct are characteristic of a person who is confident while one who lacks confidence panics and forgets everything they know, or starts second-guessing their knowledge and skills and ends up confused.
To boost one’s confidence one must work to build it. Like anything else that must be learnt, it’s a process, it takes time and effort.
Ways to boost confidence:
Intend it
Make a conscious decision to be confident. Start by adopting an upright posture that tells the world that you are not intimidated by anything. Take deep breaths to steady your breathing and if in a crowd or facing an audience gaze and maintain eye contact with people you are approaching or talking to. That will make you feel like you are in control of the situation.
Imagine confidence
What makes people lose confidence in public is that they imagine all the worst scenarios that could happen to them. Some people imagine that they fall in public and get embarrassed, others fear that they may forget what they wanted to say, stammer, get stuck, lose their voices or that they won’t get the positive reaction they expect from an audience.
Just like you imagine the worst, how about you start imagining that everything will go extremely well and imagine yourself nailing that speech, winning that audience’s attention or excelling at the task? That will give you hope and good feelings that will boost your confidence straight away.
Speak well to yourself
Self encouragement is a good way to build confidence. Tell yourself that you are capable of doing the task that is expected of you, that you know what you are doing and will excel. Some people propel themselves to greater heights by way of affirmations, one has to believe those words if they are to be effective. Not all of us have cheerleaders so we might as well be our own cheerleaders. After all, no matter how many people have confidence in you, if you don’t have confidence in yourself you are guaranteed to perform poorly or average.
Don’t compare yourself to others
You can never be the same with another person, therefore, comparing oneself to others will only culminate in depressing oneself. We are all different and were not meant to live life the same way, hence our unique gifts. The good thing is that we all have our strengths as much as we have weaknesses. So it would be best to build on our strengths and build on that to get to a place where we feel good about ourselves and know that we can be sure about our ability in that particular strength.
Keep supportive friends
Are the people around you supportive of your progress or are they killing your confidence? It’s important that you keep only those people who wish you well in your life and do away with jealous people who are always competing with you. Competing will only make you feel like a loser because it’s an endless cycle of who is better. Life is no competition. We all run our own race and if your friends are not cheering you on, you might want to consider if they are good for you.
Control your emotions
A lot of people who lose their cool and start fights feel that the other person looks down upon them. How do they arrive at that conclusion? Most of them merely suffer from lack of self-confidence and bring up violence and arguments. Confident people, no matter how provoked they are keep their emotions steady, knowing that it’s not them who have issues, but the other person.
Many people stay in unhealthy relationships because they are not confident enough to leave where they are not respected. Others have become toxic for the same reason and they subject their partners to abuse to cover up their lack of self-confidence.
Exercise and good presentation
Exercise is a great way to boost one’s confidence, not only does it leave you in good shape but you also feel good and healthy after exercising. Dressing well will make you feel even better and give you that spring in your step. Don’t put any limits to doing what you can to gain your confidence, your efforts will reward you greatly.
With your new-found confidence you can make your life more interesting. You can try new things, pursue what you love, view mistakes as minor setbacks and celebrate even the little wins, which will bring you even more confidence or inspire someone in your circle to be as confident as you are.