Ekasi Stories, with Clifford Kalibo
THE much-awaited 2022 World Cup soccer tournament is in full swing. This time around, the tournament is being held in Qatar, and it kicked off with the hosts Qatar playing Ecuador at Al Bayt Stadium, and the hosts were routed by two goals to one, much to the chagrin of many who traditionally believe that the host nation has to win the debut match.
The World Cup soccer tournament brings diversity together. While some men are able to go home straight after work to watch the world soccer matches on television, the majority of men find it more pleasurable to watch the matches in a pub or a sports bar. They claim that watching soccer at home is boring, “i-game yokubukela edeni ayichazi, imnandi nxa libukele libanengi lingamajida.” Sports bars in the city centre have decorated their places with team flags and jerseys of popular nations playing in the World Cup. The waiting staff are dressed in football jerseys of different countries participating in the tournament, and the places are decorated beautifully with football paraphernalia.
It is during this time of the world soccer games that you hear of so many hilariously funny stories. Some men are genuine soccer lovers and they follow the games with passion. We then have the guys who take advantage of the World Cup games and will arrive home very late or in the wee hours of the morning under the pretext that they had been watching the World Cup games with friends at a Sports Bar in town. Normally these kind of guys do not have the faintest idea of the nations that are participating, neither do they have a clue where the games are being held, and with some under the impression that Qatar is the name of some stadium in Cowdray Park or Pumula South. The poor gullible wives are being fed hogwash by such husbands. The guy will arrive home around 3am, very drunk and staggering.
“Today’s games were very exciting, you should have seen the way Madinda Ndlovu was playing, the guy is a star” “Na Mfana and i-game yalamuhla ibimnandi over, uMadinda ubedlala over than, uhlohle three goals.” Others will tell their wives that the Barbourfields Stadium had been packed to full capacity with World Cup spectators. “And bekugcwele kakhulu eBF, siphose saswela indawo laboMdawini.”
Madinda Ndlovu
We then have the guys who display a high level of ignorance and lack of general knowledge of the current world events and are just living in a nutshell and abyss of dullness. You will hear the guy coming home late from wherever he was and lying through his teeth to the wife, “Eeeeish, uMike Tyson bezibuya lamuhla ku-World Cup, uhle wawisa uKilimanjaro nge-first round.” (Mike Tyson was at his best yesterday at the World Cup games, and he knocked Kilimanjaro in the first round). Surprisingly, some of the housewives who are equally dull, will listen attentively as the husband narrates the lies. The poor wife will warm up food for the husband and sit next to the husband as he narrates in a loud voice, the so-called World Cup match. The wife would be clearly enjoying the story and she looks proudly at her husband who seems to be knowledgeable about the current World Cup tournament.
In worse case scenarios, we have the guy who will unashamedly lie to his wife that his employer has requested him to go and watch the World Soccer match on behalf of the company. The poor and unsuspecting wife will actually pack the suitcase for the husband, excited that her husband has been selected by the company to go to Qatar, as this could mean a raise in his monthly salary. The guy will most likely go and hibernate somewhere for three weeks with a small house.
Barbourfields Stadium
We have this story doing the rounds about this guy who told his wife that he was going away to Qatar early the following morning for the World Cup soccer tournament as requested by his employer. The wife, who would have none of that, countered her husband by saying that her company had also asked her to go and watch the match in Qatar. “Fine baba, sizohamba sonke-ke, ngoba lami emsebenzini bathe ngiyobukela ibhola eQatar.” She quietly packed two suitcases, prepared supper and went to take a bath.
After taking the bath, we are told that she found the suitcases unpacked, and the husband was already in bed. He went to bed without eating his supper. Thereafter the Qatar trip was never mentioned again. The trip died a natural death.
Just last week on Saturday, 26 November in Sizinda Township, there is this guy (name withheld), who phoned his wife that he would be coming late again, around 2am, as he would be watching the World Cup game featuring Argentina and Mexico with his friends. The wife replied coolly and said, “It’s okay my love, Argentina is also my favourite team, so I am going out also to watch the game with my friends. We will meet at home this morning around 4am.” “Okay kulungile, lami nzophuma ngiyobukela i Argentina labangane, sohlangana endlini ekuseni.” I am told that the guy was home within 30 minutes of phoning his wife, and from that day he now comes straight back home from work and watches the World Cup from the comfort of his house, with his wife seated next to him.
These are the true and funny dramas to found Ekasi during this 2022 World Cup soccer tournament. Enjoy reading this article as you enjoy watching the World Cup matches.
Till we meet gain next Sunday for yet another blockbuster.
Feedback: Clifford Kalibo/ Contact:0783856228 / 0719856228/WhatsApp: 0779146957/Email:kaliboc@gmail.com