Hi Sis Noe
MY girlfriend caught me looking at another girl when we were in town. Now she is accusing me of cheating and says maybe she is not good enough for me. I told her I was just looking, but she doesn’t understand. She says she has never looked at another man since we got together. — Help.
Reply
First of all, your girl is lying that she doesn’t look at other men. It is absolutely absurd for her to claim that she doesn’t check out other guys. You should put a stop to this nonsense just on those grounds alone. She sounds stupendously immature.
When she is out with her friends they look at guys walking past and make comments about them — don’t let her convince you otherwise. Not only that, she would not survive a day without feeling ugly if strange men in public didn’t make a pass on her.
Look at her, is she dressed up like a nun or she puts on clothes that show off her cleavage, butt and hips? I thought so. Do you honestly think that is all just for you? Seriously, we are all checking each other out in public; it’s just that some of us do it without being noticed. Part of our self image is composed from how others interact with us in public. I bet my last dollar she checked out a bunch of guys on that very day she caught you looking.
The difference is that you got caught and she didn’t. On the other hand, you can’t be the drooling pervert that you and most guys actually are. You have to do it with more stealth; don’t make your glances obvious. If you are staring with your jaw on the floor then you are going to get caught. Keep a lid on it when you are around your girl, it obviously offends her (as it should); she is your girlfriend and deserves some respect.
She most likely has some pretty deep rooted insecurity, and situations like this don’t help. The real problem here is that she should have dropped the issue by now, like before you even left town. So what should you do now? Be a man and tell her the matter is closed. If she starts threatening you about consequences or humping on about the whole thing again, tell her the matter is done and over with. She knows she has your attention, you have been playing into it, and she is going to ride that wave as long as she can. Switch sides and take control, right now.
Hi Sis Noe
I had sex with some guy I know at a friend’s party. I thought that it could develop into a relationship but nothing has happened. He acts like we didn’t have sex. I later asked him if we could be in a relationship but he ignored the question. I love him. — Worried.
Reply
The reason he ignored your question is because it was just sex to him. He was probably drunk and aroused, you were available and willing, he seduced you or you seduced him (it doesn’t matter), you had sex and that’s it. It doesn’t go much deeper than that for him. If he was remotely interested in pursuing something beyond having sex with you he would have told you by now — but he has not. It is usually pretty obvious when a man wants a woman and this doesn’t have the signs.
The sad part about these one night stands is that one partner will often misread the event as a sign the other is keen; when in fact they just wanted to have sex. There is nothing wrong with two adults having sex, but motives can easily be misread.
Saying you love him after one chance encounter is foolish at best, you know nothing about him, except perhaps his favourite sexual position. And asking him to be in a relationship with you was a bad move. Any guy hearing that kind of desperate talk on the second meet up is going to run for the hills. You are going to have to let this fish go. Wasting more time lusting after him is going to get you nowhere, and letting him have sex with you at future parties is only going to hurt you. Don’t take offence to the whole thing; it is obvious he was attracted to you. It may be he just doesn’t wish to commit himself. Just treat it for what it was, a one night stand at a party, nothing more nothing less.
SOULMATES
I am a 38-year-old woman, HIV-positive searching for a man of 40 to 45, he must be of the same status like me and should be based in Bulawayo.
Hi, I’m a lady aged 29 looking for a man willing to settle down, I have two kids.
I want a man to marry me, I am woman aged 20.
I am a young lady aged 21, based in Harare, and I would like to meet a Christian man, age above 25.
I am a lady 25 based in Bulawayo, a Christian looking for a serious partner to settle down with, ages 29-35.
I am a single 31-year-old man, permanently employed by Government as an extension worker in Bulawayo, looking for a single, short frame and employed lady 28 and below.
I am a guy aged 27, HIV-negative and in Bulawayo. I am looking for a very beautiful girl who should be very light in complexion and also with big hips, must not be too short in terms of height. She must not be older than 27. I prefer those who are employed.
I am a lady aged 33 with two kids. HIV-negative, looking for a man who is aged 35 and upwards who wants a serious relationship.
I am a widow aged 50. Please refer me to a God- fearing man who is HIV-positive. He should be loving, caring and a widower.
I am a beautiful woman aged 25, a mother of one, looking for a man aged 30 to 40 who wants to be in a serious relationship.
The man should have a rewarding job. I am based in Bulawayo.
I am a lady aged 25; I am at college in Bulawayo. I am beautiful and I need a man who does not want to play games. He should be aged 30 to 35 and should have a good job.
I am a lady aged 18 based in Bulawayo. I am shy, could you help me find a man to date aged 23 to 30.
I am a lady aged 32, I have four kids. I am looking for a guy aged 35 to 50.
I am a 64-year-old man, looking for a woman aged between 28 and 40. I have five kids and I am HIV-negative.
I am a 36-year-old single man, looking for a lady aged between the ages of 28 to 34.
I am a woman aged 23, HIV-negative and I stay in Bulawayo. I need a man who is below the age of 35.
I am Natasha, 19 years old, HIV-negative, short and light in complexion. I am a virgin, a Catholic, I want a kind, tall, dark, muscular, handsome, loving and responsible and committed guy. Age range 19 to 24.
I am 43, a father of three and HIV-positive, looking for a serious partner aged 33 to 36.
I am a single man aged 38, looking for a lady aged 25 to 35. I am in Esigodini.
I am a 20-year-old guy and I am working. Can you help me find a lady who stays in Bulawayo, who will look me in my eyes and tell me she loves me. I want to be in a serious relationship.
I am a lady aged 41, HIV-positive and blessed with six kids. I am looking for a man aged 48 to 51 who is also HIV-positive.
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