SOULMATES
I AM a widow aged 39. I am an HIV-positive mother of three looking for a man of the same status who is serious not vanoda kutamba. Age yemurume wacho 42 to 55 years only.

I’m looking for a single lady aged 18-27. I am guy aged 29.

I am a lady aged 29. I need a Christian man to marry. I’m a Christian too and HIV-negative. He should be aged 33-37.

I’m a 38-year-old man with two kids, looking for a woman below 38 years of age who is ready to settle down.

I am man aged 46 staying with one kid. I am looking for a committed woman to stay with who is HIV-positive.

May you link me with a single man preferably 26-32 years old, with a child or two. I am a lady aged 24 with one baby boy.

I’m a 46-year-old, lonely man who is HIV-positive. I am in Bulawayo and I am looking for a caring and God-fearing lady below 40.

I’m 33, may you connect me with men aged 34 to 38.

I am a man aged 35 based in Bulawayo. I am looking for a woman to date.

I am a lady aged 41 looking for a man aged between 41 and above. I have two kids. I am HIV-positive.

I am a man aged 31, looking for a woman aged 22 to 28 who is HIV-negative.

NOTICE
For the contact details of the above people send a message using WhatsApp to 0773111328. SMSes will not be responded to unless they are accompanied with a $1 Buddie airtime. Strictly no phone calls.

Hi Sis Noe
I have discovered that my girlfriend masturbates in secret each time after we have sex. Is it because I don’t satisfy her? What should I do? — Worried.

Reply
Do nothing. Such behaviour is very common and you need not worry that she secretly likes pleasing herself. Many women crave a second orgasm, especially if she has been super-aroused during intercourse. Perhaps she doesn’t want to bother you for that extra pleasuring, or maybe she is afraid you might think her too demanding. Many people, male and female, find the type of orgasm they have during masturbation (for women, often clitorally focussed) to be qualitatively different from what is experienced during lovemaking. They find masturbation produces a deeply satisfying orgasm without the anxiety that can accompany partner sex. Sex with you could be fulfilling for her in myriad ways that cannot be reproduced during masturbation, yet she just happens to want that extra one. You might have to consider the possibility that she is truly multi-orgasmic. If you wish to participate beyond your established love-making pattern, ask what exactly she would like you to do for her after you have climaxed. Be prepared to follow orders.

Hi Sis Noe
I only have sex once a week with my wife and she always loses interest in sex after she orgasms. I always make her orgasm through foreplay. I love her a lot but this is now getting on my nerves. — Frustrated.

Reply
You are over accommodating. Many people erroneously believe selflessness is always a good thing. But rather, a balance of power urgently needs to be achieved between you and your wife — and not just regarding sex. It is important to clearly let your wife know what you need, and ask for some compromise. I suspect that you allow her to have control over most aspects of your life together — and this would be OK if it did not leave you feeling sad and resentful. It’s time to openly discuss the unspoken contract between you; let her know your true feelings about things you perceive to be unbalanced or unfair, and listen to her feelings and rationale as well. Your future happiness and the welfare of your relationship depend on your ability to negotiate a better connection in which there is a greater sense of fairness for you both.

Hi Sis Noe
Ever since I lost my virginity I am struggling to maintain an erection. My girlfriend tries to assure me that everything is OK but I can’t help but worry. — Worried.

Reply
Listen to your partner and don’t create problems where there are none. You are far from the only person in the world to have these particular concerns, but if you cannot relinquish them they will interrupt your ability to enjoy sex altogether. Managing sexual anxiety is often a man’s primary lovemaking task — no matter how experienced he is. Try to remember that sex is supposed to be fun. If you even think of sex as a performance, it will make it more likely that erectile instability may occur. You are not on stage. Just focus on the moment of loving connection, laugh and develop the ability to please your partner in many different sensual ways — ask her to show you exactly how and let her know what feels best for you, too. Many men worry excessively about losing their erection, but unless there is some diagnosable erectile problem it is quite normal to lose and regain it during sex. What is important is knowing how to be relaxed if it happens, to ask for what you need to get back on track — and to be prepared to pleasure her in non-penetrative ways if it seems expedient to do so.

Hi Sis Noe
My boyfriend almost never initiates sex with me. It is me who always has to start or ask for sex. I know he enjoys sex but this is starting to frustrate me.

The most frustrating thing is that he does not communicate his sexual feelings. — Frustrated.

Reply

Your boyfriend is communicating with you, in his own way. You understand what he is telling you, but you don’t like the message. Good communication is a two-way process. It is a vital aspect of every area of your relationship — not just sex. If you are a person who needs more than grunts and bare minimum intercourse, you will have to make that clear, and educate him about your own needs. Do this without laying blame. Gently explain your feelings of frustration, and ask for what you want in an inspiring manner. There is a big difference between a seductive invitation for him to take the initiative, and a threat or ultimatum. Everyone has a unique set of erotic triggers, and it takes partners time to learn these things. Many people are willing to please their partners but just don’t know exactly how.

Ngqwele Dube, Leisure Correspondent
ART in all its forms plays a key role in influencing the direction a society takes, yet art can also mirror events in their communities.

In celebration of Operation Restore Legacy that led to the resignation of Robert Mugabe as President, the National Gallery in Bulawayo will be hosting an exhibition displaying works interpreting events surrounding the operation.

Gallery exhibitions officer, Clifford Zulu said this year’s Zimbabwe Independence Annual exhibition is titled “The Legacy”. In a call issued by the Gallery, Zulu said interested artists should submit works as guided by the title of the exhibition. The deadline for submission of works is 20 April with the exhibition set to be opened on 27 April.

“Inspired by the November 2017 Operation Restore Legacy, the exhibition is a platform encouraging the participation by visual artists throughout the country on National Issues. The exhibition also seeks to captivate the nation to revive the spirit of Ubuntu that saw Zimbabweans from all walks of life expressing their desire for freedom. The exhibition is celebrating our cultural diversity and shared history, further enriching the nation’s Legacy rooted in our cultural heritage and tangible visual culture. The artists are invited to make statements concerning their political observations, developments and inheritance issues, but above all to ask the question whose legacy,” reads a statement from the Gallery.

Zulu said legacy, in the context of Zimbabwe’s independence, implies a tradition, inheritance, culture and influence or one’s visual perspective of liberation. The exhibition aims to be seen as a contemporary guide for creative memory of our Independence celebrations and driving to preserve cultural archives of the country’s inventive activities in the post-independence Zimbabwe, over the passage of time.

“Submissions to the Zimbabwe Independence Annual Exhibition 2018, can be made by any Zimbabwean artist aged over 18 years. Submitted artworks may fall into a wide range of genres associated with visual art and design, these includes painting, drawing, sculpture, installation, photography, video, performance, design, craft, sound and any new media,” read the statement.

Zulu said the Zimbabwe Independence Annual Exhibition series began in 2015 as the Gallery sought to commemorate the country’s liberation through art.

In 2016 the theme of the exhibition was Memorialisation, which spoke to the preservation of memories related to attainment of independence while last year it was “Cherishing national pride through art.”

Last year’s exhibition, which was opened by then Sports and Recreation Minister, Makhosini Hlongwane, featured work from Mgcini Nyoni, Auntony Zinyange, Tinashe Charleson, Talent Kapadza and Knox Chimbetete.

Zulu said they are looking forward to featuring works from over 30 artists as they made a nationwide call and expect artists from all over the country to submit works that would fill the bottom gallery.

Dudu Manhenga

Bruce Ndlovu
JAZZ songbird Dudu Manhenga has revealed that life was not rosy for her after her release from prison, as she was rejected by business partners as she got a taste of the stigma that ex-convicts face after their release from jail.

Manhenga was in 2013 convicted of culpable homicide for causing the death of a motorcyclist in an accident in 2010. Initially sentenced to 18 months in prison, the sentence was wholly suspended with the artiste paying a $1 000 fine after a short stay at Chikurubi Maximum Prison.

Manhenga, now a fully fledged pastor, has been keeping a low profile since her release, avoiding all media since the infamous episode that threatened to derail her life. In an interview on Capitalk FM radio this week, Manhenga revealed that she was given the cold shoulder by companies who felt that associating with her would spoil their corporate image.

“There’s this big company in the country that used to give me business to the extent that my brand had become synonymous with theirs because I was performing at most of their events. I was booked to do a certain event with them and the event was coming two weeks after my release. So when I came back as a good businesswoman I followed up on my client. So when I asked if we’re still on for that event they said no, their board sat down and decided to cancel,” Manhenga said.

Manhenga said the rejection by companies she thought she had a good working relationship with made her realise the kind of stigma prisoners face.

“If I was treated that way for the time that I spent there, imagine a person that has been there ten or 15 years. I came back and people cancelled contracts. I was supposed to be doing a campaign for a certain company and we had already done photos for it.

“When we got into the contract we had already told them that we’re in court and there’s an issue that could bring publicity and they said thank you for declaring that upfront. But when I came back they said sorry, we’ve changed our minds,” she said.

Manhenga said she was still getting inquisitive looks from people whenever she was at public events.

“So in certain places when I get a platform before I speak I mention the prison thing just to break the ice,” she said.

Manhenga also said being sent to prison had been a relief as she had grown tired of being dragged to court.

“For me it was like finally I can get this thing behind me because it had hung over our family for too long. You would get a phone call from the police telling you to come to court or that court had been postponed. Being out of prison became more of a prison than prison itself. Having it hanging over you was worse than being taken in.

“We made peace with the family (of the victim) but we also needed to make peace with the State because when someone loses their life it becomes the responsibility of the State,” she said.

Selby

Bruce Ndlovu, Sunday Life Reporter

While the country collectively nursed the still fresh wound of Sam Mtukudzi on the eight-year anniversary of his death last week, fresh details emerged about the less than rosy life of Selby Mtukudzi, Tuku’s other alleged son with an unknown woman.

Fresh insights about Selby’s life arrived courtesy of the second edition of Tuku Backstage, the tell-all book from journalist and Tuku’s former publicist, Shepherd Mutamba.

The life lived by Selby, a Catholic priest turned keen alcohol imbiber, is in sharp contrast to that of Sam, a young man who seemed, before death intervened, destined to reach his full potential having grown up in his father’s cozy nest.

By all accounts, Sam seemed to have been his father’s favourite, showered with love and mentorship by one of Africa’s most prolific musicians. The seemingly unbreakable father-son bond was acknowledged even by Tuku himself in a conversation with Mutamba, a close confidante who now seemingly has no problem writing page after page about the intimate details of Tuku’s personal life.

“My friends are always complaining that they’ve got problems with their children but I was so close to my son. He knew me very well, as I did him. Some parents don’t know their sons because they don’t have relations with their children. He was just a good young man and I didn’t have problems with him. When he stepped out of line it was only one word and he was back doing the right thing,” he said.

Sam

So vivid are Tuku’s memories of his son that he remembers the last moments that he shared with Sam.

“One moment that makes me smile when I think about him is the last time he spoke with me when I was in South Africa and he was in Harare. He was supposed to pick me at the airport in Harare and I changed my mind and I didn’t travel that same day as I needed an extra day to do something else. I sent him a text that I was no longer coming, but unfortunately the text didn’t reach him.

“So he called me and said, ‘Nzou ko ndeipi? Listen, you’re supposed to be flying here, so what are you doing at the bus stop? We laughed at the joke and I apologised for the undelivered text. Those were the last words spoken between me and my son,” Tuku said.

That warmness and camaraderie, bordering on friendship, is what seems to have been largely missing from Selby’s life, a life largely lived beneath Sam’s adored shadow. In fact, Tuku even took Selby’s “coming out” as an opportunistic attempt to replace his beloved Sam, according to the book.

“Those people who talk about Selby must explain and make me understand why it took 27 years for his existence to come to light and then only after Sam’s death. My personal feeling is that people want to take advantage of Sam’s death. I don’t mind if those making the claims prove that Selby is my son then I will accept him as my son.

“People take advantage of others and situations and people think that I’m famous and I’ve lots of money and they want to benefit. People look at me and say I’m ageing and dying and they want to take advantage of that. Selby and his mother should prove that he is my son,” said Tuku when confronted by Mutamba about Selby.

Tuku

A diligent Mutamba managed to track down Selby in 2015, and after a trip to a few pubs managed to pick the brain of the “son” that had been rejected by the man he claimed was his father.

“Selby said that Tuku was his father and they related well. He referred to Tuku as daddy throughout our conversation. He said Tuku called him mufundisi from his former practice as a Roman Catholic priest. He said he even called Tuku the previous morning to talk but Tuku had just arrived from abroad and still at the airport. Selby claimed that Tuku was paying for his studies at university . . . ,” Mutamba wrote in the chapter titled Selby: The follow up.

According to Selby himself, if people had looked at the microscopic details of this life, they could have easily deduced that Tuku was indeed his father.
“Daddy has never said to me that he isn’t my father. I’ve never heard him say that to me. He pays for my college fees. People, you’re failing to ask the right questions; why is it that I live with Tuku’s sister (in Eastlea) if I’m not Tuku’s son or in Highfield (Tuku’s childhood home)?” Selby said.

Perhaps betraying the lack of warmth in their relationship is the fact that even after Selby was involved in a car accident, Tuku had sent his manager on his behalf rather than visit the son who is his spitting image.

“When I was involved in a road accident daddy’s manager and my mother came to see me at the Avenues Clinic. I didn’t want my mother to know about the accident because I feared that would devastate her; but she came with the manager. People should be asking why the manager visited me with my mother,” he said.

Selby is not the only person to emerge claiming to the music superstar’s child from a relationship out of wedlock. In 2014, a woman calling herself Memory Mtukudzi upset Tuku’s camp when she claimed that he was her father although he had repeatedly denied paternity. After having been pacified by a few gestures of goodwill by Mtukudzi, she confronted him again in Bulawayo at the end of 2017.

Allan Foti

BULAWAYO-born crooner, Otis Ngwabi now based in South Africa is back in the studio cooking up new heat.

Ngwabi is working with the producer-pair of Banele Dala Moyo and Nathi Ngcobo on an as yet unnamed third studio album which is being recorded at Dolce Studios under East London record label, Niche Elements.

The crooner has already recorded nine tracks off the album which is for release at the end of June and is confident that it will rock the socks off all lovers of soul music. He said tracks off the album have been ‘inspired by what has been happening around Otis Ngwabi’ in recent years.

He said the album is a reflection of his emotions and experiences as the melodies that permeate his sense every day of his life.

“This is a special album for me,” says Ngwabi.

“I connected with two of my favourite producers, Banele Dala Moyo and Nathi Ngcobo, and I believe they are on the way to producing my most career-defining record to date. We have already recorded nine tracks with each song taking about two weeks to work on. We arranged and re-arranged the songs until they felt right,” the crooner told Sunday Life from East London.

“We are recording in East London at Dolce Studios which is under Niche Elements record label. In believe we have been able to really focus on creating a special sound that all lovers of soul music will feel all the way to their hearts. I’m really proud of this album. I think it’s a must have for R&B and soul lovers,” he added.

Ngwabi said he was especially happy with Themba kuwe, KoNtuthu, and Molo, revealing that he is yet to name the rest. The Bulawayo lad said KoNtuthu and Molo will soon be available for free download.

A man whose love for soul music and his guitar has failed to make him a household name in Zimbabwe, Ngwabi said after the album is released, he would be heading back home for a ‘big’ launch party that will also feature several local acts. He said he is also in talks with South African video producers to work on videos for tracks off the new album.

Ngwabi conceded that his time in South Africa has also enabled him to grow as an artist after meeting and working with players in the South African music industry.

Ngwabi’s last formal studio album was 2008’s Zulu Zulu which followed his earlier work released Inkondlo zothando which was released in 2002.

@AllanFoti

Olinda Chapel

Bruce Ndlovu
Almost exactly two years ago, rapper Stunner and his then beau Olinda Chapel were the toast of Harare, having cemented their bond in front of elders and loved ones.

The rapper, who has never been shy to flash whatever wealth he has, had just parted with a rumoured $16 000 as he landed the well off UK-based businessman. For good measure, the flashy rapper had thrown in a few beasts.

A life of unbreakable matrimony through sickness and health seems to await the couple, with a white wedding seemingly pencilled in for December of 2016.

Fast forward two more years and Olinda is a bride again. The confetti that had been scheduled for the end of 2016 however, did not fall. Instead, it might later on this year. When Stunner hosts a white wedding later this year, the bride will not be Olinda.

If Stunner’s latest flame, Dyonne Tafireyi, is worth as much as Olinda was to the rapper, he would have spent as much as $32 000 on two brides in less than two years.

Perhaps the only people who will not mind that Olinda and Stunner’s ill-fated marriage suffered a stillbirth will be Olinda’s family. While Stunner has been bleeding money in search of love, the UK-based socialite’s family has made a pretty penny from their daughter who is allegedly moneyed herself.

Some might be tempted to ask whether Stunner is entitled to any refund for any part of his lobola payment which is still relatively recent. For example, a Zimre Park man, Orient Jani, was paid back his money after he dragged his father-in-law, Noel Mucheche to court demanding his $2 580 bride price back. His wife to be had been impregnated by another man before their wedding.

What does tradition say in Olinda’s case which is not as extreme?

“Traditionally, what was paid for was the children that the wife was supposed to bear,” said historian and cultural fundi Pathisa Nyathi. Olinda and Stunner had no children in their union which barely lasted a year.

“Traditionally, the wife was basically continuing the husband’s family bloodline and that was why they made that payment. If she was not able to bear a child her family would have to supply a surrogate wife. This usually was either the wife’s younger sister or her brother’s daughter,” he said. According to Nyathi however, the rules governing marriage had changed so this was no longer standard practice.

“Things are different now. Young people are marrying for love. In the old days it was never about love. It was all about the children and so a family would be aggrieved if a woman didn’t bear them children,” he said.

Mai Titi and Kapfupi

Kudzai Mpangi, Sunday Life Reporter
SOCIAL media comedian, Felistas Edwards affectionately known as Mai Titi in entertainment circles has teamed up with popular musician-cum-comedian Kapfupi in taking local comedy to the next level.

Together they have been working on hilarious skits which have brought back Kapfupi on the comedy scene.

Mai Titi told Sunday Life that she has always wanted to collaborate with Kapfupi and she grew up looking up to him.

“I joined forces with Kapfupi through a funeral policy, Hope Funeral Fund which we were doing an advert for. When I saw him I was very excited because I have been a fan since I was a teenager, as I would watch most of his comedy on ZBC so I decided why not explore more with him other than doing a once off thing. So I sat down with him and talked about collaborating on a few projects that would bring Zimbabwean comedy to another level and being a free spirit man he agreed in teaming up with me and we have been doing a lot of skits together,” she added.
Mai Titi said besides working on the Hope Fund Funeral policy adverts they are also working on a drama that will be coming out soon and as well as a national tour.

“We are working on a drama that is also sponsored by the funeral fund and we are planning on a national tour which will see us embarking on most of the cities providing the best skits for comedy lovers,” she said.

“We are always together working towards enhancing a better comedy platform that people will be happy to associate with and big things are coming, people should watch out for this collabo that we have started on as we are bringing crazy comedy.”-@kayskudzai

Bhekumuzi Ncube, Sunday Life Reporter
THE cast of Umzamo: Singakuthini Asambe Siyafika met up with fans in a well organised occasion dubbed ‘Meet The Cast’ in the pleasant Bulawayo leisure centre, Red Café last week.

Full of excitement, people got the chance to communicate with movie directors as well as the main characters of the movie whose trailer on Youtube attracted a decent audience.

Directed and produced by Mthabisi Zidlekhaya Ndlovu, and assisted by Innocent Chinyerere and Tedious Moyo, the film centres on a young ambitious Information Technology graduate Chiko Ruwoko as Thabo, who has a lifelong dream of running his own IT company and taking care of his beloved grandmother to whom he feels he owes everything as she parented her all his life.

“After doing peculiar jobs for the survival of his grandmother, a university graduate finds himself in a dilemma and learns tough lessons on paths to travel to make it in life. The inciting incident then comes on one of the small IT jobs that he undertakes and gets himself in a serious mess, and his life literally crumbles in all facets as he also seemingly loses his loved ones around him, his dream and a grip on his morals” said Zidlekhaya.

Zidlekhaya said the movie is a perfect play that will help and encourage the youth to be perseverant and achieve greater things in the future.

“The film aims at educating and inspiring youths to be innovative and also alerts them on the dangers and challenges one faces in the road to success, especially living in this technology age. It also set to entertain as it has a lot of drama, comedy and suspense in it,” he said.

The 100-minute film was shot in Bulawayo in areas like the CBD, high density suburbs, and low density suburbs and features characters that are still trying to make a name for themselves in the arts industry.

Zidlekhaya said one of the main aims of this film is to empower and give a platform to talented aspiring artistes who are still not known in the inherent industry; therefore the actors are not largely known.

“They are no renowned actors in the play as we are trying to give more time and chance for potential superstars to finally show the world what they can do. The producers are creating a space for upcoming arts superstars that will make their way to stardom easy,” he said.

The play has a total cast number of 25 members excluding extras. Besides Thabo some of the main characters of the movie include Nkazimulo Mathonsi as Kudzai, Virginia as Zoe, Collins as Zbura and Mbongeni Ndlovu as Blessing. For purchases and more details about the movie, people can visit Limelite Media Pvt Ltd Zidlekhaya Films.

Mzoe 7

Bhekumuzi Ncube, Sunday Life Reporter
ZIMBABWE Broadcasting Corporation television presenter who happens to be one of Bulawayo’s top pop stars, Mzobanzi “Mzoe7” Mlauzi left hundreds of Victoria Falls residents begging for more when he and his dance crew delivered a blistering performance at a concert that was dubbed Redcup Party last week.

The event, which took place at a popular bar called Comfort Pub and Grill saw Mzoe7 perform some of his top hits that include Babes weMonthend and Kwasakwasa that received a thunderous reception from fans.

Mzoe7’s Exploxion Dance Crew which he usually calls the Moogunation made sure fans were left with something to talk about. The Dola Bag hit maker said he was humbled with the reception he got from his Victoria Falls and was determined to take the “Redcup” campaign to the rest of Zimbabwe.

“I started the Redcup Party theme last year in Bulawayo at Club Connect. I also did the concert in Gwanda BBQ Gardens. I am very happy that everywhere the campaign has been a success. I want to thank fans who have supported me from day one. I will drop great projects and performances that will make them love me forever,” he said.

The Redcup concert was opened by Victoria Falls local DJs, Dj Mike and Dj Cleazer before Bulawayo’s promising young Dj, Dj Smooch took over the stage to introduce Mzoe7 and Exploxions dance crew performance that lit up the event, and got everyone jumping to the main stage.

“It wasn’t easy to perform at first as people jumped on stage after hearing the ever blazing hit, Kwasakwasa. I couldn’t stop people because I was there for them so I tried to maintain the stage and perform with them. It’s rare for an artiste to perform with fans on stage but I did it,” he said.

One of the night’s highlights was when Mzoe7 introduced his still to be released song Menemene. The song got everyone chanting. Fans’ positive response made Mzoe7 to perform the song three times and the pressure is now on him to officially drop the song.

Tammy

Kudzai Mpangi, Sunday Life Reporter
FORGET Cindy Munyavi, Selmor Mtukudzi, Pauline Gundidza or even Ammara Brown, there are new sizzling hot songbirds in town.

Despite that they are young — Tahle (19) real name Anesu Ketahle Dawani and Tammy (20) real name Thamsanqa Moyo — the two are so good with their voices that they make birds green with envy. And Zimbabwean music lovers have embraced these two songbirds.

Their shows are always packed, they have collaborated with some top local acts like Jah Prayzah, Dobba Don and Takura, and their music is on rotation at most urban radio stations.

However, last week, their endorsement went a gear up, as the pair received awards at the Women’s Business and Leadership Awards held in the capital.

Tahle walked away with the Top Female Arts and Culture and Musicology Artiste of the Year award, while Tammy was the Top Female Artiste of the Year, at an event that saw celebrated business leaders like Gweru businesswoman Smelly Dube walking away with several gongs.

The Zim favourite teenage sensation shared their excitement on their recent achievements which came unexpected.

“I feel ecstatic about the award. It has given me more drive to aim higher and achieve bigger. Sometimes as a woman in music there are background struggles that no one is really aware of, but this form of recognition makes all trials worthwhile,” Tahle said.

“I’m more than ecstatic about the award, humbled to say the least and always so grateful to all those who have honoured me through the award and it’s really going to add to my achievements and continue to strengthen the weight of Brand Tammy itself,” Tammy said. Tahle and Tammy, have managed to charm not only Zimbabwe and its neighbours but have set their sights on conquering the world.

Hi Sis Noe
I AM in a relationship with a woman I love but I am in a dilemma. There is this woman at work who wants to sleep with me even though she knows I am in a serious relationship. Should I sleep with her? — Tempted.

Reply
Show me a guy that hasn’t had similar thoughts of poking some hot woman at work and I will show you a liar. Seriously though, look at the situation, you are in a relationship that is serious, you two are having a great time, why mess it up? If she gets bonked by some a guy that she works with, you would be pretty pissed wouldn’t you? Well, it’s a two-way street buddy. If you want to go around getting busy with people at work, maybe you should not be in a relationship, or at least not a serious one. You risk losing a great relationship for lust. If you get busy with her once, it will happen again and again and before you know it, the whole thing will turn into one big ugly mess. Don’t think for a second you won’t get caught, it will slip eventually man.

My suggestion to you is either, enjoy the time you have with her at work, or say game over to your current relationship and let the party begin.

Hi Sis Noe
My boyfriend of three years is going on a trip to Victoria Falls for a week with his friends and I am afraid he will cheat on me there so I don’t want him to go. What if he finds someone there? These thoughts are killing me even though he has never cheated on me. What should I do? — Worried.

Reply
What should you do? Tell him to “have a good time on his trip” as you kiss him goodbye! It can be very easy in a situation like this to let your imagination, fuelled by insecurity and dependency, run away from you and blow the whole thing way out of proportion. Before you know it, this trip has been recreated down to the finest level of detail in your head (before it has even happened, of course) into a giant drunken orgy starring your boyfriend and loose women. However, you need to get a grip and look at it for what it really is and decide if the threat in your mind is for real or not.

There is nothing complicated about this. Your boyfriend has decided to have a trip with the guys — period. Why would you think for even a moment that your boyfriend would change his patterns of behaviour overnight? He has been committed to you for over THREE YEARS. Doesn’t that give you a hint that he has dedicated himself to you? It doesn’t appear that he has ever given you a reason to doubt his faithfulness to you before. Why would he blow three years of a good thing on some week-long drunken fling? If they had women going on the trip, I could see cause for alarm, but it’s just a bunch of guys doing guy stuff. Trust is a major component in a long term relationship, it sounds like he is a responsible person, so be a good girl and trust him. You need to remind yourself that you love him, he loves you and some out of town chick is not going to stand between that. It could even be that this time away actually brings the two of you closer!

What can you do to help yourself through this? Ask him to call you a couple of times during the trip and let you know everything is ok. You will know from his voice and what he says, everything is just fine. But don’t turn it into an over-the-phone interrogation! Just ask him how everything is and whether the trip is going well. Also, do your own stuff! Get the girls together for some fun — you don’t have to miss out on having a good time. If you sit at home every night brewing over all the things your boyfriend “could be” doing, you will drive yourself nuts! He is going to do what he is going to do whether you worry about it or not, so why worry? Don’t forget it goes both ways, he could possibly be thinking the same way about you! Now you think, “Well, I would never do those things to him!”, so why are you worried about him doing them to you?

Hi Sis Noe
When I have sex with my boyfriend the condom keeps slipping off and it turns me off. It frustrates me. — Help.

Reply
A condom that continuously slip-slides away can be frustrating especially if it keeps killing the mood. Fortunately there are a few things you can troubleshoot to get to the root of the problem. Next time your partner puts on a condom you might want to check the fit. Is the condom snug around the shaft of the penis? Did your boyfriend roll the condom down all of the way? Is there extra latex hanging or bunched up? They don’t call it a love glove for nothing; the condom should not slide around on him while he is sliding around in you, so make sure it fits like a glove. Keep in mind that brands and styles of condoms are varied. Perhaps sampling a few to see which ones provide a better fit may be helpful, and fun. Another thing to consider is your position during sex. Have you noticed that the condom escapes only when you and your partner are in certain positions? If he were on his back when you make love, for example, would the condom be less likely to come off?

Trying a number of positions to see what keeps the condom in place may not only help you diagnose the problem; it could spice up your routine as well. Condoms are made to fit tightly on an erect penis, so another thing to check is whether your boyfriend is keeping his erection during sex. Erections can come and go (perfectly normal, by the way); if this is the case, the condom may loosen its grip and slip off. A smaller sized condom may be appropriate so that he doesn’t slip out during a lull in erection. Saying and doing things that will maintain arousal during sex may also help in this situation. Lastly, although it can be challenging to talk about this stuff, the best way to figure out what is going on with your boyfriend down there may be asking him what he thinks is causing the problem. It’s possible that he knows what the difficulty is, but is embarrassed to tell you, or assumes you already know. Never underestimate the power of open, honest communication.

Kudzai Mpangi, Sunday Life Reporter
SINCE it rebranded from Club Eden to Cosmopolitan Night Club four months back, the night spot has become the best trend setter for revellers all over the country.

The club will be hosting a popular household name in South African musical circles, Lady Zamar known as the Queen of South African house music on 17 April.

Emmanuel Mahaso, manager of the joint told Sunday Life that they got Lady Zamar on board so as to bring the best of entertainment to the City of Kings revellers with the help of their partners.

“We got Lady Zamar on board through our entertainment partners ED Events who run Hartsfield Chisanyama and together we have worked together in many projects and we are so happy in bringing her to our home as people have been looking forward to her coming in Zimbabwe.

“We approached her because we want to attract the very best and Cosmopolitan is a lifestyle club, it’s not about going out to binge but it’s about the way of life, fun in a classy setting,” he added.

Mahaso said the response from the people has been overwhelming and they are hopeful that it’s going to be the best show in the city.

“We believe that this event is going to be a sell-out show as the response is massive from the people and we are expecting a bumper crowd. People should look forward to the best quality of entertainment and service in terms of security for the cars and patrons as well,” he said.

The night spot has so far lived up to its promise being the game changer in the City of Kings as they have not only promoted international acts but as well as national acts.

“We have so- far managed to be trend setters and our marriage with our clients keeps us ticking. We host international artistes and also don’t forget our local heroes as we recently hosted ExQ and DJ Tamuka and also a week ago it was Judgment yard,” he said. @kayskudzai

Berita Khumalo

Bruce Ndlovu
South Africa-based Bulawayo songbird Berita Khumalo has revealed that she was forced to leave social media last year after being hit by a wave of depression that followed some heartbreak.

Berita last year surprised fans when she announced that she would be taking a hiatus from social media for unknown reasons. The announcement was a bolt out of the blue for fans, as the songbird enjoyed a particularly stellar year on the music front.

The songbird’s latest album, titled Berita, was a largely successful follow up to her Songs of Empowerment, an album that saw her attempt to bridge the gap between the old and the new when she featured legends like Oliver Mtukudzi and Hugh Masekela.

However, despite a fruitful year in the studio, it seems like Berita was unlucky in love.

“I remember end of last year I had to report here on twitter that I was taking a hiatus because I was going through a lot! My heart and soul were broken. It was a really trying time and it broke my heart to have to pull away from you all. But it was needed,” she revealed recently.

The Nguwe Wedwa hit-maker revealed that although she had been through a tough time, that period had been instrumental in helping her find her true self.

“I’ve learnt that everything in life happens for you, not to you. And when it comes down to it, it’s not about who did what, or what happened.

Sometimes events happen to really reveal to you, what you need to learn about yourself, your surroundings and what action you need to take,” she said.

She added that her rebirth was not complete yet, as she was still in the process of rediscovering and refining herself.

I’m on a journey, learning about myself aligning my mind, my body and my soul. Live, speak and radiate your truth at all times. I want to serve you better. I want to make the best music I have ever made. I’m in a process of restoration and re-aligning,” she said.

Bruce Ndlovu
Throughout his acting career Bulawayo’s Aleck Zulu has been a victim of his own success. For example, after his convincing, spine chilling portrayal of Snake in the Amakhosi soapie, Amakorokoza, many were convinced that he was like the character he had so vividly brought to life.

The portrayal of Snake was par for the course for Zulu, a man who had before that been etched into the minds of Zimbabwean viewers as Godogodo, a gangly trouble causer who wanted to drive a wedge between the beloved characters, Sakhamuzi and Folomani in Sinjalo.

For years before he became known as Snake to the general public, the lines between acting and real life had already been blurred for Zulu.

With such an ability to pull off stirring roles, it was no wonder the public began to see the tall and wiry Zulu as the villains that he portrayed in theatre and TV productions.

However, this was to present problems later for Zulu. When he again pulled off the character of thieving Stanley in the TV drama show Sister Theresa, Zulu, a Catholic, had fingers pointed at him by congregants who felt that he had played the role of a criminal a little too well. Send a thief to catch a thief, the saying goes. In Zulu’s case, congregants felt that the producers had cast a thief to play one.

“My most memorable role so far has to be a TV drama called Sister Theresa. The production was about a Catholic nun who had money stolen from her by a crook in the City of Kings,” Zulu revealed in an interview with Sunday Life this week.

“What I found interesting about that play was that I’m a Catholic as well so it was very relevant. So realistic was my portrayal of the thief that people that I had actually done the crime.

“What people didn’t know was that the production was actually based on a true story. A nun had actually been the victim of theft and so whenever I was in church people would accuse me of being a thief. They didn’t seem to understand that I was only playing a role,” he said.

According to Zulu, this is something that he has gotten used to over the years, as people find it hard to tell his real life to the one on stage or TV.

“People think that I’m a gangster. Sometimes people ask if I ever smile at all and I brush them off and tell them that I’m only portraying a role,” he said.

There is no smoke without fire, the saying goes, and some have been beginning to wonder if Zulu had been able to pull of such roles because he also moved in criminal circles.

According to him however, there is a simple explanation for why he had always managed to portray members of the criminal underworld with such realistic aplomb.

“The reason I’ve been able to pull off such realistic portrayals of gangsters is because I do my research. The problem with other actors is that they don’t research. As someone who stays ekasi, there are character traits that we see and learn about and we incorporate them into our portrayals on TV,” he said.

This was a point that Raisedon Baya, the celebrated playwright whose pen has come up with so many of the characters that Zulu has brought to life, agreed with.

“His greatest asset is his commitment to his art. Once he gets into something he gives 100 percent. He does his own research about characters that he is playing and what people don’t realise is that most of the mannerisms of the characters adopts are drawn from the people that he meets in life,” said Baya.

In the past however, Zulu has also not covered himself in glory with his behaviour off the stage. At the end of 2016, was accused of stabbing his wife before she withdrew the case later on. Is he the villain that he portrays on TV, some would have wondered?

“That incident happened and it’s in the past. People will always say what they want to say. A lot of the stereotypes about me come down to the characters that I portray on stage and on screen. However, I take on other roles that people may not be aware of. For example in an upcoming play I portray a pastor,” said Zulu.

According to Baya, Zulu has shown maturity in recent times.

“He’s one person who’s growing up and that’s the reason that he’s now working with younger actors and imparting the knowledge that he has accumulated down the years,” said Baya.

Although he has been working mostly behind the scenes in the last few years, Zulu was still smitten with theatre and did not see himself falling out of love with it soon.

“I’m an actor by profession and all that I’m saying is that people should give me acting jobs. Recently I have recently been concentrating more on the technical side of things. That’s where I have been doing the most work.

“As we speak I’m working on a stage play based on the set book by Styx Mhlanga called Ngeke Balunge. There are a lot of young actors around and so I’m the most senior there. I cherish imparting younger actors with knowledge of the theatre and the arts,” he said.

Willis Wataffi

Bruce Ndlovu

When his brother took his last breath on 13 January this year, former Afrika Revenge front-man Willis Wataffi realised that for the first time in his life he was truly alone.

Wataffi’s brother, Marshall Wataffi, was the only close family member that Wataffi still had, as death had already claimed both his parents years back.

His brother had been the only sibling Wataffi had ever known since he took his first breath and as Marshall drew his last, the musician realised that death only threw merciless punches. This time, it had blown out the light of the one man who the musician believed would always be there to guide him through the toughest moments in his life. It also took a voice that was always ready to join him in laughter when the moments of joy came along.

“My brother was my number one fan. This was the guy I’d give my songs when they were still raw. He would tell me that this one was good or needed more work. He was there to pick us up after performances with his car when he could and I would see him dancing and enjoying in the crowd while I was on stage during performances,” said a sombre Wataffi in an interview with Sunday Life this week.

People handle grief in different ways, and three months after the death of his brother, Wataffi is still a man very much in mourning. One can feel it in a voice that seems to crack and shatter when the subject of his brother is brought up.

It is a voice that still trails off when he speaks on Marshall, as if the subject of the last remaining family member in his family is still a half-finished thought in his head.

But what can a man do to show the world that not only is he under grief’s heartbreaking spell but also respects and honours the memory of a loved one whose memory is still fresh in his mind? Wataffi did what many had thought was unthinkable: he cut his 20-year-old dreadlocks.

“I cut my hair to pay homage and honour him. I was born in a family of two and where I come from in Mt Darwin, this is called kukachambja. We’re decendents of King Mashayamombe and when you lose a member of your bloodline you pay homage and so in this case my hair was a show of my vanity so I needed to shave it off,” said Wataffi.

Two decades after he decided that his hair was for keeps, Wataffi’s locks were now more than a fashion statement. They were now a crown of sorts, symbolising a young man who stubbornly believes that royal African blood runs in his veins.

The decision to cut them was therefore not an easy one.

“I definitely knew it would (affect my brand). I wasn’t going to be reckless and cut my hair because it has a bearing on my brand. That’s why I had to do a shoot and inform the average man on the street who is my boss.

“I know that every change has repercussions and this is why I’m everywhere on social media and radio trying to push my brand. I don’t love the new look but the people that I work for love it so I will keep it for as long as it works,” he said.

As surprising as the sudden change was, Wataffi says that it was something that he had to do in honour of the late Marshall. After all, a few strands of hair were a small price to pay in memory of a man who had stood by his side through thick and thin.

“No, I don’t miss it. It’s my hair and I will grow it back. It’s something that I just had to do for my culture and that’s what my music is all about, teaching Africans to celebrate and value who they are as a people.

“His death has only started to sink in now. So I’m supposed to remove the hair for as long as I’m grieving and only put it back when I’m feeling better,” said Wataffi.

With his heart still heavy at the sudden death of his brother, Wataffi has distracted himself by working on an album, titled Uhuru/Independence, set for release next month. Although music and performance are good painkillers, Wataffi cannot help but be overcome by grief from time to time.

“You can never get used to death because it’s always a different person passing away. You get used to someone and then they’re gone. That’s it, you won’t see them again. I lost both my parents and now my brother which means I’m left by myself.

“It affects because it’s not the same when you realise that you’re now alone. I never thought I would ever bury my brother. Sometimes you want to send a joke and laugh about something and remember that he’s gone. I still feel like he’s here,” said Wataffi.

Trust Dojiwe aka Nasty Tricks

Kiyapili Sibanda, Sunday Life Reporter
HE broke into the music scene in 2003 more than a decade-and-a-half ago. His most successful hits include Chimoko Chidanger and one of his favourite fans especially in the Midlands wonder what happened to this artiste who had so much potential in the music circles.

Long and forgotten Gweru-based rapper Nasty Tricks born Trust Dojiwe and grew up in Mkoba suburb has elapsed and some don’t even know him especially the generation who have tasted and adopted Zim dancehall.

Sunday Life managed to track down the long forgotten singer, who said he puts the blame to himself for working with the wrong people who also took advantage of his young age back then.

“Firstly, I will blame myself for working with wrong people on my first album. They took advantage of my age then. I fell into a contract that saw me gaining only fame and not wealth, and I was robbed by Baseline Studios. I never received my tracks and I was under the supervision of one well-wisher and boxer Edward Tyson Takawira. Up to this time Mr Baseline wishes me bad luck in the music scene but I don’t know what the reason is,” he said.

Some say the birth of Zim dancehall marked the death of urban grooves as some of the artistes failed to acknowledge that their time was over, and a need of rebirth was desirable, but Nasty Tricks said the genre was there under Urban Grooves just that people were not used to it.

“No one could listen to Zim dancehall back then because it was associated with violence and drugs. Back then people had better things to do. These days because of poverty people engage in drugs and they find solace in songs that are related to drugs,” said Nasty Tricks.

He said music was now a part time job for him and was now working with different companies doing advertising.

“No one can buy music these days like it used to be the time we started. To my loyal fans keep the faith I will deliver something soon and I’ve got more than 50 underground tracks that are not yet released,” he said.

Away from his musical career Nasty Tricks mentioned that he was now happily married and people should expect wedding bells soon.@Kiyaz_Cool

Dweezy Bwoi Wonder

Kudzai Mpangi, Sunday Life Reporter
THE amazing works of fast rising hip-hop sensation Dweezy Bwoi Wonder, real name Dylan Nyambe has attracted former Cash time member, Kid X to describe him as the game changer in the Zimbabwean music scene.

Having featured in the most popular song in South Africa Caracara which went on to break history in the hip-hop scene, Kid X said the young and most promising rapper has the right abilities to shine given the extraordinary talent that he possess.

“Check this boy out from Zimbabwe Dweezy Bwoi, he is a living talent,” Kid X said in a twit.

The award-winning South African rapper seem to have loved the young rappers work as he even went on to tell his counterparts about him which has so far contributed to the young rappers’ success.

“The comment from Kid X inspired me to produce more good quality music, taking it from the statement he said about me that showed me that my works are good as it’s not every day that you get recognised by those big artistes from South Africa and it shows that I’m on the right lane,” Dweezy Bwoi Wonder said.

“He told his friends to check out my music on the internet and the response to my songs has been nothing but massive and its all thanks to Kid X who saw a great talent in me,” he added.

Asked how his music got to be known by the South African rapper, he said that his song Olivia which he featured two best guys in arts Mzoe 7 and Lorbee J got him international and national recognition.

Conquerors of Africa

Bhekumuzi Ncube, Sunday Life Reporter
ACAPELLA gospel group, Conquerors of Africa held a “top of the ladder” concert dubbed It is Done, at Rainbow Hotel that left fans dumbfounded with the group’s auspicious act.

The concert that took place during the Easter holiday was designed to promote and revive acapella as well as create a chance for talented gospel artistes, who are yet to be discovered, the opportunity to showcase their talents to the public.

Made up of former members of the Quiet Rest Gospel Ensemble, the Conquerors Acapella ensemble gave fans their best, delivering song after song, some of which were known by the public.

However, the highlight of the concert came when the ensemble was joined by Bulawayo gospel star, Siphethengani Sibanda popularly known as Pastor Barak. They performed hits like Ndinodaidza and Famba naJesu that received a standing ovation.

Barak, who once worked with the members of the Conquerors of Africa during their days at Quiet Rest, said he was happy to see his old friends continue delivering gospel music to the public.

“The concert reminded me of the old days at Quiet Rest. It was a memorable experience to share the stage with them. I encourage them to keep on doing well and release more acapella projects. The reception from people proved that the group is a powerful gospel force to reckon with,” he said.
Pastor Barak, who last year launched his album Yimi Lo in an extraordinary concert at Monte Carlo Centre that saw Bulawayo Mayor attend, said the Conquerors’ group performance made him fall in love with acapella.

“The Acapella gospel concert has given me home work to go for acapella as well. I used to sing acapella a long time ago. It is a genre that needs a lot of practice and commitment. Hopefully, people will fall in love with it,” he said.

Siah Hot

Kudzai Mpangi, Sunday Life Reporter
FOR most mid-twenties young men, a place of passion is a dreadful trading place only the few daring and bold are willing to probe into. But this has never been the case for the incredibly talented tiger-eye focused Gweru-bred Josiah Mudziti aka Siah Hot.

Despite his age, no nonentity has kept the young crooner from aiming for the stars and achieving his set goals both as a Jazz musician and fashionista.

“It feels good being young as I am and achieving my goals at my age. Not many young people can do what I have vowed to do and I’m proud of myself.

It makes me feel confident that the future is bright for me and every other young person like me,” Siah Hot said.
Siah Hot has been in the music industry since 2014.

“I discovered my passion for music after finishing my high school as I fell in love with the process of creating music and the same goes for the clothing line which I have always loved and found it within me,” he said.

“I am specific about what I wear, so in my final year at college I used to design my own clothes and get a tailor to make the clothes. People would notice and start bidding for the clothes and I would end up selling most of the stuff and I later on decided to start Siah Signature Collection which has been doing so well,” he added.

The Gweru-based crooner said he has always found it easy for the two to complement each other given the fact that he has been in the music industry for a long time.

“Since music came first I already had followers, so I just used the status to promote my clothing line. Nowadays when I go for big events I will be dressed in my clothing line and that way I have managed to promote the line and these two have promoted the brand Siah which is me,” he said.

Siah Hot revealed that he has managed to supply his clothing line for many prominent artistes such as Gupsy Warrior, Nutty O, DJ Tamuka and Solid Records team, among others.

Hi Sis Noe
I HAVE been friends with this girl for years and we have dated different people but now I think she wants to be in a relationship with me and her friend has confirmed this. But I am afraid that if we break up our friendship will be dead. — Help.

Reply
When you look back on life, the things you regret the most are the things you haven’t done, rather than the things that you have. If you are attracted to her and she feels the same way, do you want to miss out on the opportunity to have a lovely relationship? Some start with instant sexual attraction, but often the relationships that are more likely to endure begin when you are great friends — as well as being attracted to each other. The friendship helps you to survive the inevitable ups and downs of a relationship. Of course, there is always a risk. When you fall in love, you become vulnerable, but she might turn out to be the girl who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Imagine how you would feel if she started going out with someone else and you realised — too late — what you were missing.

Hi Sis Noe
I just found out my girlfriend is HIV-positive. I can’t believe she didn’t tell me. I confronted her about this and she said she didn’t tell me because she feared that I could dump her. She confessed that she has been on ARVs for three years now. — Stressed.

Reply
I can see why your girlfriend might have been scared to tell you the truth at the beginning. However, she should have told you and no wonder you are shocked. Her attitude doesn’t say much for her, I’m afraid. She should be more understanding and prepared to talk this through. Meanwhile, the first thing you must do is have an HIV test. There is no cure, but there are effective drug treatments. HIV treatment works by reducing the virus in the blood to undetectable levels, which prevents it from damaging the immune system. This also means that someone who is having effective treatment can’t pass the virus on. If she takes ARVs, it is unlikely that she has passed on HIV, especially if you use condoms. Get tested anyway for your peace of mind.

If you love each other, you may be able to sort this out together, but you could find that her deceit and lack of understanding have damaged your trust in her.

Hi Sis Noe
My husband and I have a good marriage except in one respect. He says that he can’t stand my mother and won’t have anything to do with her. I know that my mother is not easy; she is outspoken and opinionated and I find her difficult, too. She keeps asking why they hardly ever see my husband and I am running out of excuses. — Worried.

Reply
She may not be the easiest of mothers-in-law, but out of love and respect for you, your husband should make an effort to put up with her occasionally.

Marriage is meant to be about being together for the good and the bad times, after all. Acknowledge that you also find her difficult, but explain that it makes it increasingly hard for you if he runs for the hills every time there is a possibility of them meeting. He does not have to be there every time, but just enough to be polite. Explain that you don’t always like your mother’s views either, but that it would mean so much to you if he could learn to tolerate her. You can both moan about her to each other afterwards. Problems with in-laws often contribute to couples falling out so tell him how much you love him and that the last thing you want is for that to happen to you.

Hi Sis Noe
I am 20 and I have feelings for a workmate who is 40. We have both admitted that we are attracted to each other and have a connection. He is married to a woman 15 years younger than him. We both want to cross the line, but are not sure how to do it as we know it would be wrong. Whenever we work together there is a spark. — Aroused.

Reply
He is obviously into much younger women! I suspect that he would like an affair, but he probably has no intention of leaving his wife. If you did have an affair, you would get hurt when he eventually ends the relationship or his wife finds out about it. As you work together, your other colleagues would soon discover the truth — the couple involved are usually the last ones to realise this. If it ends badly, it would also be difficult to work together and you would have to find another job. Think ahead a little. In 20 years, when you are 40, would you want to be with a 60-year-old man? It will hurt less if you accept that he is probably pursuing you because he wants the fun of a sexual relationship and not necessarily because he has fallen in love with you. He should not be tempting you so don’t take this further. You have lots of time to meet someone else. You should also consider how his wife would feel if she found out about it.

Hi Sis Noe
I WhatsApped this guy and told him that I like him but he did not respond. I then told him that if he does not like me he can just say so. Instead of responding he blocked me. Was I too forward? — Confused.

Reply
He responded by blocking you — in short he does not like you. Unfortunately, this is a case of coming on far too strong, far too early. I am sure you now realise that getting angry was not a good move. Next time you meet someone you like, go slowly and be friendly and chatty — don’t dive in and ask them right away if they have romantic intentions.

Hi Sis Noe
My boyfriend of one year is good to me and he says he loves me but he keeps talking to his ex-girlfriends. Two of them are beautiful and I think that they are still interested in being with him. He thinks that I am being unreasonable and unnecessarily jealous. — Worried.

Reply
This is difficult. If you think that they are still interested in him, then of course you see them as a threat. However, relationships are built on trust and you need to trust him, not them. He is a man, there will always be beautiful women who fancy him and you can’t control this. But if he says that he loves you and genuinely seems to feel this way, then you need to try to believe him. His relationship track record is a good indicator of his reliability.

Has he had good long-term relationships or only short ones? Did he always end them? I also wonder if your self-esteem is low as you are comparing yourself to his exes. Perhaps you need to work on your self-confidence and believe it when he says that he loves you. You can’t ask him to stop seeing them, but he also needs to understand that it is hard for you and he should be sensitive to this.