Hi Sis Noe

I STOPPED taking pills a month ago but I am yet to get my period back. What is wrong with me? — Help.

Reply
Going off the pill, or any hormonal contraceptive, is a big switch for your body. Among other changes, it may take several weeks for your period to find its own rhythm and become a regular visitor again. Depending upon the woman, the type of pill, and the length of time you have been taking it, it may take anywhere from several weeks to several months before hormone levels regulate and allow regular menstruation to resume.

In addition, if your periods were irregular before taking the pill, your periods may continue to be irregular after stopping the pill. Generally, your period should start four to six weeks after taking your last birth control pill. If you have not begun menstruating after three months, you may have a condition called post-pill amenorrhea.

Birth control pills stop your body from producing hormones that trigger ovulation (egg release) and menstruation. When you go off the pill, it can take a while for your body to re-adjust to its natural hormone production schedule. Eventually though, your regular menstrual cycle will return.

Most women will ovulate about two weeks after going off the pill. Older women, especially women who have been on the pill for a long time, may begin ovulating again more slowly. Although unusual, it is possible for a woman to get pregnant before starting to menstruate again.

If you have had unprotected sex since you stopped taking the pill, or if you are worried that there is a chance you could be pregnant, then you may want to take a pregnancy test. If after several months, you are still not getting periods or if you have concerns about being pregnant, you may want to schedule a check-up with a health care provider. All that being said, chances are everything is okay and your body is simply readjusting to life off the pill.

Hi Sis Noe

My husband does not want to make love to me. It’s been months since we had sex. — Help.

Reply

You need to explore together why he doesn’t want to make love. Has he lost all his sexual drive, if so it may be a medical problem like lack of testosterone, diabetes, depression, or prescribed drugs that can affect his libido. Perhaps he is impotent but doesn’t want to admit it. If any of these things are causing a problem he should see his doctor.

Alternatively if he has lost interest because, though he loves you, he no longer fancies you, then he needs to be honest about that. That does not mean that you are not attractive and sexy, it’s just that the chemistry is not there any longer. If so it would be soul-destroying for you to stay in this marriage.

The same would be true if he is not being entirely honest with himself or you about his sexual orientation. It could be that he has a very low sex drive, is there a pattern of him wanting sex in a new relationship but then he finds it peters out? High levels of stress can also depress some men’s libido and make them avoid sex. So can childhood sexual abuse. Psychosexual counselling could help if it’s a marriage or a psychological problem. But if he can’t identify why he has been avoiding sex and is reluctant to get help then you should seriously think whether you want this relationship.

Hi Sis Noe

Is it safe to have sex when pregnant? I am a woman aged 20 and I am pregnant. — Worried.

Reply

It is very safe to have sex when you are pregnant. But I am not surprised that you think your partner is going to harm the baby by thrusting into you. In fact, you might find out that your sex drive is higher than ever at this time (I hope I am right).

Reassure him that the baby is protected and you could try some gentle positions that don’t seem dangerous. In your second trimester you should have a good sense of wellbeing and be blooming, and you will know that your baby has made it through the stage where the risk of miscarriage is highest. As your belly expands though, you might both need to get more creative with your positions. Sex can even help reduce pressure on your lower back and plenty of women say pregnancy improves their sex life!

There are exceptions, of course, and it’s always worth checking out with your doctor. For instance if you know you have a risk of bleeding, you have a history of miscarriage, are expecting more than one baby or you feel pain while urinating. Don’t be surprised if you feel that you prefer to be intimate without having sexual intercourse. Many women become more interested in sensual arousal and want to enjoy touch and foreplay, and it’s also normal to feel uncomfortable about having sex when you are pregnant. People are not the same — we are different.

Hi Sis Noe

I am 22 now without any breasts; I do not know what happened to me. — Help.

Reply

You have breasts, they just have not grown outward. Having a flat chest is not a pleasant thing but you should know that it does not make you any less a woman. You still got your pubic hair and you menstruate normally and your breasts have milk glands. Unfortunately experts like doctors and lactation consultants don’t really know why this takes place. It is known that flat-chested women’s hormone levels are normal and they can successfully breastfeed.

A flat breast only represents a problem in the connective tissue inside the breast and not in the actual duct system of the breast that lets out milk. But no matter what the cause, it won’t hurt to eat healthy so as to give your body the best chance for everything to work properly. You might find out that when you get pregnant your breasts will grow out. During pregnancy the breasts do develop more and grow in size, and flat-chested women can breastfeed and produce milk. But you should not get pregnant for the sake of having grown breasts.

A totally flat woman’s breasts can grow to an A or even B cup during pregnancy and while breastfeeding. However, due to the small storage space for milk the baby might need to nurse quite often. But what you must remember is that a flat chested woman is not abnormal in the sense that her breasts are functional and can make milk. You are also not abnormal in the sense that there are many other women out there with a flat chest. If you are concerned about outside appearance use padded bras, no one will notice that you are flat chested unless they know you.

Hi Sis Noe

I am a lady aged 25, and I am married, these days I feel a burning sensation after sex. I am worried. — Worried.

Reply

While other women lie on their backs in bed and stare at the roof with smiles of satisfaction after sex, it sounds as though you will be agonising over the after-burn with thoughts of what is wrong on your mind. There are a number of possible explanations for the burning feeling you get after your partner ejaculates, including, a semen allergy, vaginitis, an alternation in your vaginal chemistry, or friction caused by insufficient lubrication.

If your symptoms continue, a visit to your health care provider is in order to get a proper diagnosis. A form of vaginitis (inflammation of the vagina) is a possible cause of the burning sensation. Bacteria and fungi (like yeast) grow in the vagina of all healthy women, and, as you suspect, the balance of those micro-organisms can be upset by changes in pH levels. Common forms of vaginitis include yeast infections and Bacterial vaginosis (BV).

Vaginitis may make itself known through abnormal discharge, mild or severe itching or burning of the vulva, chafing of the thighs, or frequent urination. Semen may be the trigger altering your vagina’s chemistry. Other possible triggers are lowered immune resistance, douching, birth control pills, antibiotics, or cuts, abrasions, or other vaginal irritation (friction from intercourse, fingers or fingernails, or tampons). Your partner can also transmit an infection if s/he has one. Birth control pills do not offer protection from sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

When considering not using condoms with a sexual partner, in addition to talking with your partner, it’s a good idea to both get an STI check-up. It is possible that you have a semen allergy. Symptoms like burning, pain, and swelling typically start 20-30 minutes after contact and can vary in severity and duration. Friction from intercourse can irritate vaginal tissues, and may make you more susceptible to vaginitis.

Additionally, a side-effect of some hormonal birth control methods is vaginal dryness. To combat friction and prevent vaginal irritation, you may want to add water-based lube into the mix during sex. You can also try peeing both before and after intercourse — the acidity of the urine tends to kill off and wash away bacteria. Also, for both you and your husband, washing your hands and genitals before you have sex may make a difference.

If you have a true semen allergy, having your partner drink plenty of water before and during sex can reduce the acidity of his semen, which may make it less irritating. Since there are a number of possible causes for your pain and burning, it may be wise to seek the opinion of a doctor.

SOUL MATES

Our dating section returns next week. Single ladies and gentlemen send your profiles to 0773111328 and we will help you get a partner. Make sure you state your age, HIV status, age range of the person you want and of course the type of person you are interested in.

PEOPLE have been writing to me to help them to improve their sex life and I have given out tips of how to make their beds hot. But one thing I have not told them is that their bad sex life could be due to poor health.

One of the biggest factors affecting the enjoyment of sex is the health of the body. Smoking cigarettes constricts the capillaries and blood vessels in the body, which restricts blood flow to the genitals and thus decreases sexual enjoyment.

Alcohol and other caffeine sources destroy vital vitamin B elements within the body, making us more lethargic.

This lethargy and lack of physical vitality not only communicates itself to our partner during sex, but also comes across when we are on the look-out for a partner.

Isn’t it ironic that the two most consumed items in a bar or nightclub environment — alcohol and cigarettes — are the two greatest killers of good sex?

Vitamin B, which is burnt up by the metabolising of alcohol, also makes us more relaxed. So while the alcohol is loosening us up on the one hand, it is destroying our Vitamin B levels — when the alcohol has been metabolised from our bodies, we become very low on Vitamin B — and thus the hangover.

Our bodies function best when they contain optimum levels of amino acids, nutrients and other chemicals required for the chemical lab we call a body. Unfortunately, modern lifestyles generally do not allow for the proper intake of such chemicals; and so, the majority of the population is functioning improperly.

So, you can stand out from the crowd by simply being healthier; you will project an aura of energy and vitality that will make you feel great — and if you feel great, other people feel great about you.

In short, to have a great sex life, eat healthy food, exercise and drink less alcohol.

Irregular periods and infertility

I have also received many enquiries about the relationship between irregular periods and infertility. In short, irregular periods are common in infertile women.

However, many women are very confused about the relation between irregular periods and their infertility. They naively assume that once their periods become regular, they will conceive.

While it is easy to make the periods regular by putting a woman on birth control pills, this will not help her to get pregnant.

You need to remember that irregular periods just like infertility are only a symptom, and not a diagnosis, irregular periods are also just a symptom of an underlying problem called anovulation, or not ovulating.

It is the underlying anovulation which causes both the irregular periods and the infertility, and this is what needs to be treated.

Infertile women with irregular periods need the following medical tests: blood test for measuring the level of the reproductive hormones, FSH, LH, PRL and TSH on Day 3 of their cycle, so the reason for their anovulation is discovered.

Once the problem is known, doctors can treat it by inducing ovulation.

Issues with Norplant

I have also received a lot of messages from women complaining about the side effects of Norplant. My advice is — if it is giving you problems, use another contraceptive. Norplant has many side effects including menstrual irregularities, headaches, mood changes, hirsutism, galactorrhea, and acne. Absolute contraindications include active undiagnosed genital bleeding, acute liver disease, benign or malignant liver tumours, known or suspected breast cancer, and a history of idiopathic intracranial hypertension. Relative contraindications include heavy cigarette smoking, a history of ectopic pregnancy, diabetes mellitus, hypercholesterolemia, severe acne, hypertension, and a history of cardiovascular disease, severe vascular or migraine headaches, and severe depression. No need to wonder why in the USA it is a banned substance. It is largely used by third world countries which somehow allow controversial medical things to pass through out of desperation.

Appropriate candidates are women who are postpartum or breastfeeding, women who have difficulty with contraceptive compliance, women in whom pregnancy is contraindicated due to a medical condition, and patients with contraindications to the use of estrogen.

Long distance relationships

A good section of my readers are in long distance relationships and most have no idea how to sustain their relationships. If you are in such a relationship, here is how you can keep it ticking.

Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a long-distance relationship is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetheart is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives.

Another positive point is that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, to communicate better since you don’t have face-to-face time and to test and express your feelings. As long as you see the long distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.

One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship, you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worthy of trust until proven otherwise.

Don’t fall in the trap of interrogating your partner every time she or he decides to go out for a drink with people you haven’t met or that she or he didn’t get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a long distance relationship doesn’t mean your lives will pause.

Your partner will naturally have a social life where she or he lives and so should you. Sure, it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive, but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.

A relationship must be built on strong foundations of trust, understanding and determination to make it work. The two of you should be reasonable about your expectations and you should be willing to co-operate so that the relationship can lead to a happy ending. If these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about. But don’t forget to ask some questions because if you don’t, your partner may start to think that you are losing interest.

You must also try to make time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone call. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some rules about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them.

Consistency can help a long distance relationship survive.

PLEASE NOTE

Due to circumstances beyond our control, we are unable to run Soul mates this week. However, next week we will be back. Keep your requests coming.

Rumbidzai Mbewe, Sunday Life Correspondent
IN 2012 she was crowned Miss Southern Africa Zimbabwe and that was her first mark into the modelling industry. From there she never looked back, she took her modelling career to greater heights and this year she will be representing Zimbabwe at the Miss World Cosmopolitan.

At the age of 23, Letwin Tiwaringe known to some as Queen Lee has achieved what some other people older than her are still dreaming of.

The beauty queen said she was ready for the Miss World Cosmopolitan which is set to take place in Malaysia on 30 September.

“Miss Southern Africa Zimbabwe was my first title. Actually I won two titles that night, I also won Miss Personality. To me it was an eye-opener. I learnt a lot that modelling is not all about beauty but you must be intelligent as well. They used to ask us a lot of questions about Africa and from there I learnt a lot. I am glad I was part of that experience,” she said.

Last year she was the first black model to make it to the top five at the World Next Top Model. She said the pageants that she has participated in have made her gain the much-needed exposure as well as experience.

“I feel I already have the much-needed experience and I also go to the gym to keep my body in shape. I am also happy for the support that I am getting from my family and different organisations. My family has always been there for me even when I won Miss Harare,” she said.

Queen Lee was very confident that she will bring something home from the pageant. She said she will be performing an African dance at the pageant.

“I possess both inner and outer beauty. I believe I am going to come back home with a title or even reach the top three. I am 184 cm tall and I am confident that I am going to be among the tallest girls. There is a talent show as well so I will also showcase my dancing abilities,” she said.

Record-breaking seems to be what this model is good at doing; in 2014 she received a philanthropic award for the work she did with orphans from Mbuya Nehanda Children’s Home.

“I am very proud of being the youngest Zimbabwean to receive such an award so far. I received this award from the Philanthropy Institute of Zimbabwe. Last year I was among the top 10 great icons in Zimbabwe such as Jah Prayzah just to mention a few,” said Queen Lee.

The beauty queen is planning on launching her own designer label that will be named Queen L.

Miss Cosmopolitan World 2016 will be organised in the host country, Malaysia for the very first time in the history. It will be an International Beauty Pageant comprising 30 countries and more. This prestigious event will be hosted by Amelia Productions, the founder of Miss Cosmopolitan World.

@rumbie_mbewe

Peter Matika, Senior Life Reporter
A FEW weeks ago while relaxed in the company of friends, swigging his favourite beverage — Gold Blend Rare Blended Whiskey, Brighton Ndlovu, an upcoming DJ, never in his wildest dreams imagined that the beverage would turn him into the proud owner of a new home.

24-year-old Brighton, who still lives at his folk’s house in Bulawayo’s Pumula East suburb, is now the proud owner of a four-roomed, fully tiled, walled and gated house in Harare’s Budiriro suburb, after becoming the first winner of the African Distillers Limited (AFDIS) Think Out of the Box and win a House competition.

Sunday Life managed to chat with the comic dreadlocked DJ, who says he will never trade or sell the house, as that would be his family’s God-given legacy.

“I will never trade that house for anything . . . not even truckloads of Gold Blend Whiskey,” he said jokingly.

Unemployed and dependent on spinning the decks at events and clubs, Brighton said the heavens had blessed him with a house, something he never dreamt he would own, given the economic situation.

“We in a dire and tricky predicament, not only as a country but the entire world, youths are struggling to make ends meet as there is no employment and owning a house remains a dream for many. But for me, drinking Gold Blend got me a house, who would have thought?

“I know many people always said to me that I was a good for nothing, that I was always drinking but guess what, I own a house now from my hobby, which most were against. So something good can come out of drinking,” he said.

Brighton went on to mention that he felt proud to own a house, as his parents didn’t own one and that they have been renting for most of their lives.

“I really can’t say this is an achievement but luck. You know my father has been renting his entire life and he never wanted me to be in the same situation. At least with this house now I know I can save the little that I have and maybe one day get married and have children,” he said.

Rewinding back to when he received the news that he had won a house, Brighton said:

“I was literally drunk and passed out. When the people from AFDIS called my grandmother received the call and had to look for me to deliver the news. When she told me I couldn’t believe it, I felt so happy and just can’t explain the feeling.

“They came and got me a day or two later to present me with the keys to my house. AFDIS is the best and with this now I know I will never stop drinking my Gold Blend Whiskey,” said a jubilant Brighton.

AFDIS Southern region regional manager Nhlonpeng Ncube said Brighton was the first winner of the competition, where two other lucky Gold Blend Whiskey drinkers stood a chance to win a house in the same suburb in Harare.

“The first draw was held on 11 June at Machipisa Shopping Centre in Highfields, Harare, while the second will be held in Bulawayo on 13 August this year and the third and final will be announced in due course,” he said.

Ncube added that the gist behind the competition was to invoke people’s minds, in that if one wins a house outside their city what would they do, given Brighton’s case.

“Think Out of the Box is to get people thinking of how to sort out a predicament. If you were to win the house in Budiriro what would you do?

So the essence of the competition is to create excitement and get people thinking,” said Ncube.

The promotion kicked off on 15 April this year and will run until 30 September.

Participants stand a chance of winning a two-bedroomed house in Budiriro.

The entry requirements are to purchase a 750ml or 200ml bottles of Gold Blend Rare Whiskey, enclose the lids into an entry form envelope and deposit the envelope into boxes found at outlets throughout the country.

@peterkmatika

Raj lying in his bed at Mpilo

Peter Matika, Senior Reporter
COULD Indian national — Uathalil Sasi Samanhraj warmly known as Raj, have fooled people into believing that he was a saint, yet he was actually a wolf draped in sheep’s skin?

For those that have been following the story, they would know that early this year Raj opened a swish restaurant and pub in partnership with a manager of another posh restaurant, Norman Kaviza, whom he accused of messing with his visa in a bid to get him deported to assume full control of the pub. He therefore reported the matter to the police, where investigations were instigated, while the matter was being handled in court.

The case has however, since been closed, as Raj reportedly failed to appear in court to provide evidence, as the State witness and complainant.

Raj also went on to accuse some local businessmen and a well decorated war veteran of plundering and plotting to muscle him out of his investment worth about $70 000, labelling them extortionists and opportunists.

However, it has emerged that he is seriously riddled in debt, owing service providers, rentals and wages for his workers, whom he is alleged to have been evading for the past month or so.

His rental arrears for the defunct club reportedly amount to a staggering $16 000, which date back to the time the co-run restaurant and pub was established.

For the past few weeks, since the closure of the pub, Raj has been AWOL, leading his workers to report him to labour councils, over unpaid wages. Some of the workers said they were distraught and shocked by his behaviour, as they had just been made co-directors to the company.

“This guy tricked us all. Who would have thought that he was a crook? He had just made us directors to the club before it shut down. He had promised to sort everything out and pay our wages but now he has since vanished and we are not sure whether he is still in the country or has skipped,” said a former barman of the pub.

Raj is also accused of “lifting” property from the club, which belonged to a local beverages company and kitchen equipment belonging to his manager.

“He removed property from the club and took it to a warehouse, from which he later moved the property again to an unknown location. He however, left fridges at the warehouse in Belmont,” said another employee, who requested anonymity.

His former manager, who also declined to be named, confirmed that the property had indeed been moved to a warehouse in Belmont and that his kitchen equipment was also part of the property stored at the said warehouse.

“My equipment was also taken to the warehouse. Now I have gathered that he has since moved the property, including my stuff to another location, which I don’t know. I am told he left fridge(s) at the first warehouse, I don’t know what arrangement they have. Now I have to search for him (Raj) and get my equipment,” he said.

Another source claimed Raj was still in the country.

“Its funny how this whole thing played out. He played everyone for fools; he is hiding,” claimed another employee.

One of the businessmen whom Raj had accused of extortion Eddie Chivero also had a few words about him.

“Raj is a man that can’t be trusted. What sort of investor was he claiming to be investing $70 000 in the form of a bar, I smell a rat. He couldn’t just come from wherever to invest in a club. That guy should be investigated. All those cases he raised with the police and courts, which he all lost, were just a way of trying to secure and justify his stay in Zimbabwe. It is now up to the police and whichever authority to investigate this man. They ought to find out who he was and who he is. Everyone he ever dealt with is crying because they were in one way or the other duped,” said Chivero.

Sunday Life has also for the past three weeks in a fruitless effort tried to locate and communicate with Raj, who is alleged to rotate three cellphone numbers.

“He uses three numbers, which are all not registered under his name,” said Chivero.

@peterkmatika

Rutendo Chidawanyika

SOCIAL status is one of the many reason why women and men wear designer clothes and accessories. These are advertised by top models on runways, sports people, musicians and those in the fashion industry. Celebrity fashion is something that people are looking up to, people copy celebrities no matter how weird the trends are.

Logos are persuasive. Branding has become a display of a person’s status and as some studies have shown, can heavily influence a person’s behaviour towards another. A study has shown that logos, especially the expensive brands — could be helpful for landing jobs and often make a person seem more approachable.

We all appreciate and desire to have designer clothes, but for some it has become an obsession. If you can afford a Gucci handbag then go for it, but for those who cannot afford designer items, go for what you can manage. Trends are constantly evolving, if you do not have a big budget it becomes a challenge because you have to keep updating your wardrobe. The Alexander McQueen gown worn in 2012 will not be relevant in 2017.

What should sway someone to buy designer labels over cheap alternatives is superior quality. You should spend $100 on those sissy boy jeans because you know they will last more than 10 washes or six years. The fabrics and materials used are also crucial, certain construction processes will result in higher quality, but cost more. The only way to judge quality is to examine the cut, touch and feel the item. Logos don’t always justify the big price tags that sometimes convince people.

More importantly the garment should look good on you. If it looks terrible on you it really doesn’t matter whether it’s a Versace shirt or Louis Vuitton bag. People can still look funny in expensive clothes and wearing designer pieces will never make you look cool if you are not.

Why wear designer clothes?

1 Consistency — People keep going back to the same brands because they consistently perform well for them. Women who shop at Edgars stores are fans of the label Charter Club because it fits them well. Even if the prices go up they stay with Charter Club because of consistency in production.

2 Uniqueness — Designer clothes are expensive because they are rare. Those who shop at Mr Price will notice that the majority of the people will have the exact clothing item. Those who shop at Forever New or Mango will be one of the few in the country with that clothing outfit.

When you are wearing designer clothes, you are never going to experience that awkward moment where you bump into someone wearing the same outfit as you.

3 Self-identity — Certain brands represent certain things about people. I will use Edgars stores as an example and their labels. Free 2 b u, is mostly for young people and women who are into the latest fashion trends. Charter club is for the sophisticated, classy, mature lady and then Penny C is for the older women who are more into the classic style, which is mostly about comfort. That is how designer labels are, people buy certain brands because what you wear represents who you are.

4 Celebrities wear designer clothes — Pink bottoms by Pokello are popular among ladies in Africa because she is a celebrity. People want to look like their style icons. When Chris Brown or AKA is seen wearing air max or air Jordan sneakers, every young person wants to get them too. Celebrities are like living bulletin boards for designers.

5 Quality — Many people who don’t believe in buying designer brands say that you are only paying for the brand name and that the product is no better than the other. If you buy an original pair of diesel jeans, they will last for about 6 years as compared to those bought at the flea market. Designer clothes are usually made from finer fabrics and have superior stitching compared to those at the flea market.

It is important to remember that fashion is an art and clothes designed by Christian Dior, Caroline Herrera or David Tlale are works of art.

They are meant to be looked at, admired, copied and worn by rich people and famous style icons. Then finally discovered by us then we get our hands on them as rejects or knock off!!!

rutendochidawanyika3@gmail.com

Lovert Mafukure
Japan has engineered some of the best looking cars of all time. Cars that tickle the right nerves with aggressive styling that will make you buy them. Nissan is no exception, Nissan designers are always busy at work trying to bring out the best and their Nissan Liberty is of no doubt a good looking family car.

Introduced in 1998, it ran its mile up to 2004. It has some niceties like the electrically controlled rear sliding doors, digital speedometer and of course — that Japanese comfort.

On that poached technology tip, we are looking at poached technology coming in with grey imports. It may not be worthwhile for the users in Africa as it is not yet sustainable. Basically its technology that’s a bit problematic and not really backed up by local dealers and it makes us miss our good old cars which you could fix in your sleep. Now, back to the Nissan Liberty — is it a good buy or its goodbye?

The Nissan Liberty came with the SR20 engine and later on it was replaced by the QR20. The SR20 is better because it is the engine that has stood the test of time. It can either be a DE or DET. The DE simply means Dual Overhead Camshaft and the E is for electronic fuel injection.

The DET on the other hand is the same but the T means that it is turbo-charged and it should be a bit of fun. The SR20 engine has proven itself to be reliable over the years and the DET has been used in sports cars like the Pulser GTir and the Silvia.

These are some of the most iconic sports cars to come out of Japan.

The QR20 motor replaced the SR20 on later models but it has not proven itself as reliable as the SR20. It became more advanced and in most cases that is the problem with modern automotive technology, everything has become more advanced, less reliable and lacks simplicity.

The end result is more problems. Much of it however, is the disadvantage of grey imports. When all is put together modern technology makes for more efficient engines with fewer emissions that are harmful to the environment.

The Liberty has a FWD setup with 4WD options. The FWD liberty is driven by a CVT transmission — this is the point where you might want to start walking away from the Liberty but if you get the 4WD, you get the four-speed automatic transmission. It’s kind of funny that Nissan knew from the start that the CVTs cannot handle that much strain that a 4WD setup brings. If you get the 4WD you are better off because it’s the Automatic and not the CVT.

The CVT is good and offers better fuel economy and smoother acceleration but for reasons better for your pockets, you are better off without it. CVTs are totally different from automatics and are more expensive to service. Others confuse them for automatics and service them with Automatic transmission fluid which ultimately spells disaster.

The problem with this car is that when the continuously variable transmission (CVT) decides to give up the ghost, it plays an unpleasant and un-thrilling horror movie. The most common problem being that after a while it goes into limp mode when hot and consequently loses power. Not much can be done to it when it starts acting shady like this except for replacement or repair, the latter is quite a long short considering we are in Africa and again this is poached technology most of us here are still guessing and trying to find our way around it. Replacement is usually the most feasible route.

Considering that CVT technology was significantly new in the early 2000s. These CVTs were and still are very sensitive and with slight mistreatment, they malfunction. Nissan recommends the use of Genuine Nissan CVT Fluid for their CVT gearboxes — but again these are grey imports and you will not find this fluid by your local Nissan dealership and eventually you use generic oils.

Apart from the QR20 being a weaker engine and the CVT transmission being less reliable than the automatic. The Nissan Liberty is a good buy but if you do get the model with the QR20 and the CVT then it may be a goodbye because one day you may be singing — “I knew you were trouble when you rocked in’’. Get the 4wd automatic and you will be okay. Till Next Time — Keep it JDM!

CVT — Continuously variable transmission
FWD – Front wheel drive
4WD – Four wheel Drive
For feedback:
Whatsapp: +263772339938
Email: lovert10@gmail.com
Facebook: @Automart Zimbabwe

Shalom Adonai Music

Rumbidzai Mbewe, Sunday Life Correspondent
SHALOM Adonai Music is set to host a dinner event on 3 September at the Zimbabwe International Trade Fair (ZITF) Tea Room Pavillion.

The dinner event is aimed at raising funds that will cater for different projects of the group.

The group’s event co-ordinator, Beke Gumbo said the success of the event will assist the group in acquiring a full wardrobe and a Public Address (PA) system.

“We are inviting everyone to our dinner event to come and join us from 6pm to 9pm. Fees will be pegged at $13 per plate, $25 per couple or $100 for a table of six. The money will help us to record our music as well as produce videos of songs for the upcoming album,” he said.

He said available on that night will be Shalom Adonai Music branded merchandise such as hats, caps, key tags as well as t-shirts, among other items.

The group has seven members. However, the group is strong and working in full capacity at any given time.

“We are also fortunate to have friends who are helping in the day to day running of the group, which is aiding in creating a professional outlook. Our only hassle is that we have as yet not been able to secure some form of financial sponsorship, hence our slow trudge in the running of big projects such as concerts and recording,” said Moyo

The group got its name from the message in the book of Judges 6:24, where Gideon builds an altar and calls it “Jehovah Shalom” meaning “God is Peace”. Therefore “Shalom Adonai” means “The Lord is Peace”.

“We have since been very active in sharing hope through our music and have been involved in numerous events of different magnitude, from home visits to important civil events. We have also travelled across our borders to reach a wider audience. Our influence is spreading from strength to strength,” he said.

@rumbie­_mbewe

Macheso

Joel Tsvakwi, Sunday Life Reporter
ZIMBABWE sungura music maestro Alick Macheso is set to unpack his music prowess for the third time this year in South Africa barely a month after a successful tour in the UK alongside Oliver Mtukudzi.

The sungura virtuoso last performed in South Africa in April this year in Free State and Boksburg.

Having admitted the sliding appreciation of sungura music after the death of Tongai Dehwa Moyo in 2011, Macheso is set on an auto cruise to prove that the perceived waning fortunes of sungura are just but a fallacy.

Basking on the tide of a record breaking Tsoka Dzerwendo which sold out 100 000 copies on its first day of release, Macheso will be belting it out for the first time in Northwest Province.

The show which is slated for August 26 at Brits Town Hall and a day later in Boksburg, will see some up-and-coming South African based Zimbabwean artistes curtain raising for the 48-year-old sungura ace.

Clever Manpower Maphosa and his Sungura Super Beat alongside Fortune Commander Tagara and his Agape All Stars will warm the stage for the king of sungura.

In an interview with Sunday Life, Macheso’s public relations manager for international shows Victor Sithole aka VicSolutions said sungura lovers are going to have a special treat for the first time in Brits.

“This is the first time we are playing in Brits and it comes at a time we are solidifying our command on the sungura music arena both locally and internationally. It also comes barely a month after our UK tour with Oliver Mtukudzi,” he said, adding that it will not be an ordinary show for they will be further marketing hit album Tsoka Dzerwendo.

“This is not going to be an ordinary show but part of our ongoing outreach to our music fans, those in Brits who have always wanted to see Macheso face-to-face each time he plays in Johannesburg but could not afford due to the distance between Johannesburg and Brits.

Sithole further said that the Brits show will be a thriller of welcoming back Macheso’s erstwhile members.

“Our music fans will also have the opportunity to welcome back Jonasi Kasamba, Obert Gomba and Noel Nyazanga, who have re-joined the team Mberikwazvo. This is the first time ‘Mdara Cheso’ will perform in Brits and is promising real fireworks, a thriller so to speak — to the extent that those who have never seen him on stage will regret and understand what they have missed and what they will miss if they continue to miss his live shows,” he said.

Polite Nkomo proprietor of PKY July promotions who have of late been hosting most Zimbabwean artistes down south has been hailed for his outstanding work.

“Based on the short time we have interacted with this promoter and him bringing us to Brits for the first time, I can say he is genuine, quite composed and someone who really lives nothing unturned to attain his objective,” he said while adding that: “I am sure this is the main reason why most musicians from our motherland Zimbabwe see it fit and well to work with boss PKY, and we encourage this since Mberikwazvo believes in lasting, long time relationships and we foresee working with “Mdara” PKY for more times to come.

While riding on the unquenchable glory of Tsoka Dzerwendo Macheso will be sampling out new songs for his almost done 2017 album.

“Our music fans will be treated to a first class show and will have the privilege to listen and dance to one or two songs from our almost ready 2017 album. We are working to make it a yearly event now hence the need to sample these new songs to our loving sungura music fans,” Sithole said.

Meanwhile, Nkomo told Sunday Life that it was his ambition to host what he described as big guns in the Zimbabwean music circles.

“I have been doing music promotion for quite some time and I had done my part in grooming up and coming artistes. As I grow I need to do something challenging that’s why am hosting big guns and showcasing their talents,” said Nkomo who was born and bred in Plumtree.

Yoliswa Dube
A LOT of people avoid animal prints like the plague, and it’s not a completely illegitimate fear. Perhaps no other decorating theme has a greater potential for tackiness and the overkill effect. Nevertheless, when used with care, animal prints can add a subtle touch of class to an interior or make a powerful statement that suffices for the entire room’s embellishment.

If you’ve been thinking of introducing a little safari vibe to your home, but are not 100 percent sure how you are going to feel about animal patterns and whether you can make a long-term relationship at all, use the policy of small steps.

If you have absolutely no experience with animal prints, it is obvious that you might be afraid of a dramatic impact and overdoing the whole thing. The best way to make friends with patterns is to use subtle, de-saturated colour schemes first and give yourself some time to see how you feel about the change.

If you find the effect overwhelming already at this point, think twice whether you want to go any further. It is therefore wise to start with modifications that can be reversed with little effort such as adding throw pillows, lampshades, curtains or accessories that only partly employ animal prints.

Once you’ve established that you tolerate animal prints well, it is time for something a little more expressive. Hold your horses, though. The rule of instant reversibility still applies, so accent chairs and throw pillows are your best bet. Don’t yet re-upholster the sofa or go for full-scale zebra print wall art in the bedroom. Keep the additions explicit enough to enjoy, but not large enough to disrupt the eye.

For those fancying big and bold décor, animal prints are an ideal choice. Use them rather centrally so as not to visually distort a room’s proportions and pair them with solids to balance out the boldness. Large animal prints used in area rugs do a fabulous job of tying up the elements of the room and framing conversation or dining sections. They instantly define open floor plans and fuse energy into simple white and black colour schemes.

Stripes, polka dots, flowers and leopard spots together? There’s no reason why the eclectic approach should exclude animal prints. The easiest thing to do to avoid chaos is to unite patterns with colour and keep the prints moderate in size, but it is by no means the only way.
Mixing various patterns and colours can produce a stunning effect and it doesn’t necessarily take a professional decorator to accomplish that.

Purchase pieces gradually, one at a time, and expand the room as long as you feel comfortable with the additions. To be on the safe side, make sure there’s enough solid colour and plain accessories around to maintain balance. – decorlove.com

Cassper Nyovest

Bruce Ndlovu, Sunday Life Correspondent

LAST year, the world watched in awe as South Africa’s Cassper Nyovest successfully packed Johannesburg’s famed 20 000-seater TicketPro Dome — a feat few thought was achievable when the rapper announced his ambitions a few months prior.
One person who insists he had always believed that Nyovest would pull of that monumental, is the ponytailed rapper’s trusted keyboardist, producer and right-hand man Almonte “Alie Keys” Mthombeni. To show his trust of his Zimbabwean protégé, Nyovest had entrusted Alie Keys with the responsibility of being the musical director for the show which was held on 31 October last year. Alie paid off Nyovest’s trust by putting together a flawless show, with few grumbles from the 20 000 strong crowd that turned up on the day Nyovest proved that a South African act can pull off a show of that magnitude.

A year later, Nyovest and Alie Keys are plotting to pull off an even bigger coup. While Soweto football giants Orlando Pirates might struggle to fill up the club’s famed Orlando Stadium terraces during a normal South African Premiership match, the two young visionaries are planning to bring in 40 000 fans into the stadium on 29 October this year. Alie Keys, who now sits comfortably besides Nyovest on his throne as his permanent musical director, is expected to handle the musical aspect of what is sure to be another monumental event by the multi-platinum selling rapper.

For Alie Keys, the responsibility that Nyovest has bestowed upon him is not accidental, as he has won over the rapper’s trust after years of good and dedicated work. Nyovest and Alie Keys are musical Siamese twins it seems, with one’s taste complementing the other due to their years together in the musical trenches as budding artistes.

“Cassper made me his musical director because of my approach to music. I used to play with a band called the Red Riots and we used to be one of the bands that could replace a DJ effortlessly. Cassper used to watch us perform a lot before he was deep in the industry,” he said.

Keys went on to describe the central role he is set to play during this year’s festivities.

“At Orlando Stadium, I’ll be the music director. Basically I’m the guy who’s going to lead/be the driver of the band. I’m the guy who knows who I’ll have in terms of musicians while also creating a team that I can lead. I’m the one who’ll have to create live versions of Cassper’s songs so that the band can play. I’ve to make sure the music produced by the band is top class while ensuring that both the band and Nyovest are in sync.”

A year after pulling the strings behind the scenes at The Dome, Alie believes that he is now in a better position to take Nyovest fans to musical nirvana when they come to witness his latest history making spectacle. While he thrived under the Dome’s pressure cooker atmosphere, the keyboard players says that the run up to that show had not been easy and he does not expect filling up Soweto’s Orlando Stadium to be an easier task.

“I really learnt a lot from the Dome, now I know how it feels to direct big shows like that. The pressure in putting that event together was too much as we only had a month. I simply told my guys (band) that we had to pull off something amazing, all we wanted to do was to leave a mark.

“I learnt that too much pressure makes you stronger, not weaker. Playing for 20 000 people made me feel like a king behind those keys.”

“The hardest part when it comes to pulling off a big show like Fill Up Orlando is pressure, pressure and more pressure. You have to make sure that the band is on point by rehearsing every day for about two months while you also need to create more ideas that can accommodate both the band and the back track that will be used during the show.

“You need to make sure that on the day, there’ll be no mistakes because you can’t do that in front of 40 000 people while also making sure that you raise the bar higher for not only yourself but Cassper and Family Tree,” he said.

Due to the bravado in their music and lyrics, some might have the image of rap superstars as egotistic wordsmiths that are hard to work with. However, according to Alie, Nyovest does not have any diva tendencies despite his popularity.

“Nyovest and I are always on the same page no matter the circumstances. Here and there, I’ve to listen to him when he wants something done on the production side but he listens to me as well. It’s a 50-50 situation all the time,” he said.

From left: Mqondisi Sibanda, Ronald Sibanda, an unidentified man (centre), Bhekimpilo Sithole and Butho Dube thanking villagers for attending the tournament

Peter Matika, Senior Life Reporter
Godlwayo in Matabeleland South district roared to life during the National Hero’s holiday last week, as some of its South African based sons organised a three-day Fiesta-cum-soccer tournament.

About 1 000 villagers graced the festival dubbed the Mqondisi Sibanda Tournament, which was characterised with dance and sport.

Seven teams, including a visiting South African social league team, Sakhile Rovers — owned by the SA-based Sibanda, battled for supremacy in the three-day tournament held in Mabuze.

The fiesta, a co-operative effort between the South Africa-based Sibanda and Butho Dube, was launched with the hope of developing not only the district, but as well as a football team to represent the district at division and premier league level.

The tourney even garnered for the presence of soccer legends and administrators such as businessman and Highlanders Football Club board chairperson — Mgcini Nkolomi, soccer legends, Dazzy Kapenya and Ronald Sibanda, who were tasked with putting up and coaching the teams that battled it out for to land the top post.

The businessmen, Sibanda and Dube, also pledged an astounding $10 000 towards the development of the sport and a team in the district next year.

“This is our home and we want to have our own team representing us not only at social level but at Division One and maybe one day at Premier League level. Therefore we are pledging $10 000 towards the project,” said Sibanda.

He added: “The idea was to develop not only my team from South Africa but also our local Godlwayo team. For the South Africans, I wanted them to experience the different climates and terrains of different countries, as the team endevours to be in the division league. The tourney was also to honour our legends such as Dazzy and Ronald.”

The two businessmen also slaughtered two cows to feed the villagers in attendance of the fest.

Said Dube: “We don’t want to take credit for the tourney and say it was a collaborative effort between two people. But it is something we did with the rest of our brothers and sisters from Godlwayo. It is an event for our place of origin; we are children of Godlwayo and want to develop our home. Each of us chipped in where it was necessary.”

Godlwayo Soccer League board chairman, Bhekimpilo Maranda Sithole said he was impressed with the response from community members in working towards developing not only the sport but the community.

“It’s pleasing to see how big our project is growing and also to note how community members are coming together to build this dream. Obviously we were inspired by Tsholotsho district that managed to develop a team that went from being just a rural team to a premier league team,” said Sithole.

He added that they wanted to procure and develop a soccer pitch, as well as soccer kits to see this project through.

Another board member Zibusiso Majankwe Ncube commended the teams for playing professionally during the tournament, which was ultimately scooped by ZRP Mat South.

“As you witnessed we had seven teams, which we placed in groups. The teams played professionally and we are certain that we will be in the league soon.”

Teams that participated in the league: Godlwayo (select), ZRP Mat South (select), Sakhile Rovers (SA), X-Man FC, Mashura FC, Farvick FC and West Nicholson FC

@peterkmatika

Nkosilesisa Ncube, Sunday Life Reporter
A YEAR after being charged and fined for drug induced sex with a minor, Gweru-based entertainer DJ Mupsy still maintains his innocence.

According to the Gweru entertainer, the girl, a student at Regina Mundi High School who accused him of rape initiated contact with him.

She allegedly went through a lot to get his attention, messaging him constantly on WhatsApp for a year before they finally agreed to meet.

“She would see me driving past her mother’s workplace and send messages like, “I saw you driving past my workplace” to give the impression that she was a 19-year-old working girl.

On the day in question, Mupsy said the girl called him in the morning to confirm their appointment. When they did meet, she brought a friend with her.

“When I met them, I asked what they wanted to do, she (the rape complainant) said she wanted to drink and get high. She said her drink of choice was Red Label, and to me, someone who can drink whisky and anything else that strong must be quite grown and mature and knows what they are doing,” said Mupsy.

From meeting in town, they went to Mupsy’s house where they stayed until the late afternoon at which point he called a taxi to take the girls home.

“We were playing music by my flat, when she (the complainant) said she wanted to go home.

“She was drunk so I called a taxi to take them both home,” Mupsy said.

Three days later Mupsy was contacted by the police, with charges of rape. While awaiting trial, he got a call from his friend (name withheld) who said the girl had put him in the same position the year before.

“My friend told me that a year before, the girl had contacted him on Skype, lied about her age and sent him suggestive pictures of herself. The girl’s mother then went to my friend’s workplace, threatening a lawsuit if he did not pay her $1 000,” he said.

According to the DJ, his friend paid the mother and the matter went to rest. Mupsy said he realised he may have been the victim of a money making scheme when he learned that the girl’s mother had allegedly made false rape allegations against her former boss, much like the ones her daughter was making against him.

“While I was in police custody, the girl’s mother approached my mother and proposed an out of court settlement, which I refused because I knew I had done nothing wrong,” said Mupsy.

He was not convicted of rape, but for drug induced sex with a minor and was fined $600.

Mupsy said he felt the amount was unfair on him considering that he did not do anything wrong.

He has not performed at Regina Mundi since the incident and says he can never go back there because of his experience with the school.

“Professionally, I can never go back to Regina Mundi, but the whole situation affected my personal life more than it did my professional life. It was a pressing and stressful time and paying for lawyers crippled my family financially. My mum was always there though, she believed in me from the start and we became closer as a result.” Mupsy said.

He said the whole saga had taught him to be selective about the company he keeps.

“I have learnt not to mingle with just anyone and not trust everyone and that is a lesson that I will teach my son. In retrospect, Mupsy says he should not have entertained the girl in the first place.

“If I had a do-over, I would ignore the first WhatsApp message she sent me,” he said.

Twitter: @nkocykay

Rutendo Chidawanyika

EYEBROWS are important. Throughout history, eyebrows have been indicators of social status, gender and authority. In earlier centuries the shaven forehead and almost absent eyebrows were seen as a symbol of sexual purity. Times have changed though, brows have grown from thin to thick, which is the current brow trend.

We all want perfect eyebrows but sometimes no matter how well we try to fill in our brows, they just don’t turn out quite right.

This is because most people pencil in eyebrows which do not have a good shape. All eyebrows have a certain shape so it is a matter of carving and refining them.

For those who shave off their eyebrows only to redraw pitch black lines or red lines, you are doing it all wrong. The eyebrow pencil is used to fill in the gaps and bring out the shape that already exists. Somehow women make it seem like having good eyebrows is impossible, but everyone can have perfect eyebrows.

Women who end up with bad looking eyebrows make the following mistakes:

1 Tweezing everywhere (above brows)

You are not supposed to tweeze above the brows, this can disrupt the natural arch. Since the hairs above the brows tend to be finer and sparse, you can mistake them for bushy unnecessary hairs. When tweezing stick to just under your brows unless you

REALLY need to do some maintenance above the brow.

2 You don’t know when to stop

Tweezing can be dangerous if you don’t have a plan before you start. Try highlighting the hairs you want to remove in order to achieve your ideal shape before you start. This way you won’t risk ending up with the 1990s pencil thin eyebrows.

3 You are trying to match your eyebrows perfectly

Eyes are not identical, your eyebrows should not be either. If your eyebrows looked exactly the same that would be weird because they would be the only feature on your face that is perfectly symmetrical. Remember eyebrows are sisters, not twins.

They are not supposed to look exact.

4 You are not following your natural arch

All eyebrows have a natural arch, whether slight or defined. The trick is to enhance where your arch naturally occurs rather than create a new arch somewhere else along your brows. If it’s hard to tell where your arch naturally is, take the highlighting pencil and trace the upside of your brow, do the same for the bottom side, making sure the arch lines up.

If the above mistakes are corrected, a perfect brow can be achieved. For those who have challenges tweezing, you can get help from professionals. You can decide what works for you, threading, tweezing or using a razor. After you’ve had your brows shaped once, all you have to do is maintain it. Before you start pencilling in, comb your hairs up with an eyebrow comb or toothbrush to see where they need to be filled in, starting from the front working towards the tail of the brow. Next you’re going to use a matte shadow or concealer that goes underneath the hairs to fill in density, especially where there are sparse spots, gently shading to bring out shape.

Use a pencil and concealer that complements your skin tone, brown usually works well for most. Another option to determine a good starting place is to obtain eyebrow stencils. Hold up various stencils to your eyebrow and see which shape most closely matches what you already have.

Remember our faces have different shapes, so do our eyebrows. The eyebrows do not have to be straight all the time, you can go for rounded, arched, steep arched or even s-shaped. It all depends on what suits you. Get a good brow!!!

Email: rutendochidawanyika3@gmail.com

A BEAUTIFULLY decorated coffee table can easily become the real eye-candy for your living room, and the focal point of the room. After all, when you’ll be receiving your guests, it is what they will have in front of their eyes for the majority of the time.

That’s why, if you decorate it the proper way, every single one of your guests will be leaving your house with the best of memories about your style and chic.

However, if you approach the subject of decorating your coffee table unprepared and clueless, chances are you’ll achieve the exact opposite — and we don’t want that to happen.

When decorating the coffee table you need to remember that too many decoration elements create a feeling of chaos and mess, and we surely don’t want your coffee table to feel that way. That’s why, when decorating it, remember that the optimal number of objects is three.

I’m quite sure you’ve heard it before, but in case you didn’t let me say it again —in interior design, the most appreciated number is three. Three objects keep it interesting, while less would be empty and without character. More means chaotic and headache-inducing, in most cases.

If you’re familiar with cooking, then most chefs will tell you the same — three ingredients keep the dish interesting, and more is a bit overwhelming for the taste.

So, going with three decoration pieces, you can’t really go wrong — of course, you could theoretically use more or fewer objects, but it’s a bit more tricky and harder to do, as well as requires more knowledge about design. If you’re new to interior design and want to achieve success without risking a failure, then stick with three items on your coffee table.

It’s always good if the coffee table makes the character of your house explicit and transparent. Not only the character of your house actually, but also your very own character — along with your hobbies, interests, and lifestyle.

You can use items that you value, or at least a sample of them, as the base of your coffee table decoration. It’s very effective, and if you choose the elements of decoration properly, you can create a really nice atmosphere in your living room — giving a taste of yourself to the guests.

For example, people who like to read a lot of books (or pretend to do so), often like to keep books on the coffee table as an element of decoration. While some people find that appealing, it may also come across as pretentious, so I wouldn’t recommend it — I’m just trying to give you an idea about what I mean by showing your interests through the decoration on your coffee table.

Flowers are the bread and butter of every design and are always welcome — as long as they are fresh and natural.

Keep in mind, however, that these flowers will be right in front of your guests, roughly on the same level as their faces, if they decide to lay back on your sofa or armchair.

You don’t want the plants to cover the view range of your guests, thus making the conversation awkward and weird. Keep the flowers subtle, and it’s better if they are short and thin. — décorlove.com

Hi Sis Noe

I told my new boyfriend that I regret having sex in the past and I will only sleep with him when I am his wife. He told me I am a secondary virgin. What does that mean? — Woried.

Reply

Secondary virginity is a decision to abstain from sexual activity until you get married. It’s an opportunity to start over. Your physical virginity may be lost, but virginity is more than just a physical state. It’s an attitude, a frame of mind. It’s manifested in the way you look at yourself and others. Secondary virginity is a time to change bad habits and heal past wounds. It allows you to clean and renew yourself prior to marriage. Secondary virginity is a return to abstinence following a life of sex. A commitment to secondary virginity is often made with the goal of remaining abstinent until committing to a life-long monogamous relationship, such as marriage. Increasing numbers of teens and young adults are making this decision to reduce their considerable risk for sexually transmitted infections and non-marital pregnancies.

Hi Sis Noe

Ever since I gave birth my husband rarely sleeps with me. Sometimes he comes to bed late and I think he will be avoiding me.

What can I do? — Starved.

Reply

I believe your husband is suffering from post-natal depression. The truth is depression, anxiety and other mood disorders are common. In fact, they are just as common — and just as real — as physical problems, like heart disease and diabetes. They can also be as crippling. You are having a hard time living with a husband who is depressed. The lack of sex is a very painful part of that. So how do you deal with it, and what can you do to give yourself a sense of acting on it, even though you know that you cannot cure it? If taking action is your instinct, then take action.

You need to be there for him, talk to him, cook for him, and treat him as if everything is normal. Do not pressure him to have sex with you, it will happen in due time. Having patience is hard. Waiting for someone to improve is hard. But what choice do you have? The other ways to beat depression is to do things that reduce stress. Exercise, a talk with the marriage counsellor, a holiday getaway for a day without the baby — all these things can help you.

Hi Sis Noe

I have noticed that there is blood in my semen. I am worried. Please help me Sis Noe. — Worried.

Reply

Blood in the semen is known as hematospermia. This condition is common, and in younger men, it’s not usually a sign of a serious problem. Hematospermia has many potential causes, the most common of which is inflammation of the seminal vesicles (the small glands that produce most of the fluid in semen). Other possible explanations may include inflammation or lesions in other parts of the reproductive system such as the prostate, urethra and testicles. Hematospermia will usually disappear without medication, but it’s a good idea to get checked. It’s important to get examined if you keep noticing blood for more than ten ejaculations or two months, or if you are over 40 years of age. These factors might indicate a more serious cause like a systemic infection or, for older men, cancer.

Hi Sis Noe

I am a boy aged 15 and every morning I wake up with an erection. My friends think it’s caused by urine but it happens even when I don’t have urine in my bladder. — Confused.

Reply

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. And contrary to what many believe, waking up with your penis at attention is not caused by urine build-up in the bladder. Morning erections are technically night time erections (or Nocturnal Penile Tumescence). They happen three to five times per night. They usually occur during periods of Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep (when most dreaming occurs) and last around 30 minutes each.

Unrelated to dream content, they are both common and completely normal. Though you may find it surprising, this phenomenon occurs in other mammals. Women experience similar yet less visually noticeable REM-related engorgement of the clitoris and vagina as well. Thought to be the body’s natural attempt to properly oxygenate the penile tissue, most guys will have nocturnal erections throughout their lifetime, and their frequency, along with one’s awareness of them, may vary.

Hi Sis Noe

I recently went for an HIV test and I tested positive. But I am afraid to tell my girlfriend. How best can I tell her? — Worried.

Reply

Breaking the news to your partner that you may have HIV can be very daunting. There are many ways to broach the topic, and many factors to consider including timing, location, and the manner in which you communicate most comfortably. Often it’s helpful to pick a time and place where you and your partner will both be calm. Be prepared for your partner to be upset, sad, overwhelmed, and/or unable to have a prolonged discussion right away. People often need time to process the news that a loved one has HIV.

After the news has time to settle, you and your partner may wish to discuss a range of issues, such as the risks of transmission, safer sex strategies, how this impacts your day-to-day life, whether you will begin treatment, and how you can best support each other. You certainly don’t have to tell everyone in your life that you have HIV, but it is actually required by law that you disclose your HIV status to anyone you could potentially transmit the virus to. You may also wish to consider the nature of your relationship — do you and your partner have sex that would be considered high risk for transmitting HIV (sex without protection)?

Is there any chance you would be putting yourself in danger by telling your partner? For a host of reasons, and despite legal considerations, some people living with HIV choose not to tell their sexual partner/s about their status. It may be best to speak with an HIV test counsellor about your relationship and how best to manage the news of having HIV. Telling your partner you have HIV probably won’t be as easy as the other things you might discuss in your relationship, but letting her know your HIV status could enable her to make well-informed decisions about her own health and safety.

Peter Matika, Senior Life Reporter
COULD US-based Zimbabwean pop and RnB singer Tinashe Kachingwe be facing an identity dilemma?

Basing on her most recent interview, where she told an interviewer that she had never been to Zimbabwe, contradicting her 2014 interview with The Breakfast Club on Power 105’s Charlamagne Tha God that she was born in Harare, Zimbabwe.

In that particular interview, which is available on YouTube, Tinashe told the world that she was born in Zimbabwe, to a Zimbabwean man and Danish-Norwegian mother.

She said: “. . . My name is from Zimbabwe, that’s where my dad is from. He’s from Zimbabwe . . . My name means we are with God in Shona . . . Fun fact . . .

“My dad is from Zimbabwe, my mom is Danish, Irish Norwegian, she’s from Iowa . . . I was born in Harare, Zimbabwe,” she said before being asked to decode her smash hit 2 On.

However, recently in another exclusive interview, in America the chat topper said she had never been to Zimbabwe and wanted to visit.

“I’ve never been there but really want to visit very soon. My dad left when he was really young; he was only like six or seven years old. But I definitely feel a sense of pride in that culture, and I love the fact that I have a name from it. Their music is amazing. I think it’s such a musical culture; it’s definitely part of why I grew up in such a musical household,” she said, raising questions whether she really knew her identity or was experiencing a dilemma.

Despite her descent being a mystery, her professional biography states that she was born in America.

She was born Tinashe Jorgenson Kachingwe in 1993.

She is an American singer, songwriter, record producer, dancer, actress and former model.

She began her entertainment career at the age of three when she began modelling and acting. In 2012, Tinashe released two critically acclaimed mixtapes, In Case We Die and Reverie, which she created in her home studio.

After the release of the mixtapes, Tinashe signed with RCA Records. She later released her third mixtape, Black Water (2013).

Her debut single, 2 On, reached number one on the Rhythmic airplay chart, and peaked at number 24 on the US Billboard Hot 100. Her debut studio album Aquarius, released in 2014, was noted by music critics as one of the most “solid” debuts by a new female artiste in years.

She made her acting debut in the television film Cora Unashamed in 2000. In 2004, Tinashe appeared in box-office hit The Polar Express alongside actor Tom Hanks, providing the motion capture for the female protagonist.

From 2008 to 2009, Tinashe had a recurring role in the American sitcom Two and a Half Men as Celeste, Jake’s girlfriend.

For a few months she was involved in a social media spate with US rapper and RnB singer Chris Brown, who had taken a swipe at her for protecting another fellow artiste, who had reportedly tried to commit suicide.

Twitter: @peterkmatika

Yoliswa Dube, Sunday Life Reporter
WHEN the ninja president Winky D (real name Wallace Chirumiko) steps onto the stage, there comes with him a certain aura that is rather captivating.

Before his latest offering Gaffa Life, with hit tracks Disappear and Not Nice, the dancehall Igwe was all about “bhachi ne jean”.

In 2010, he even sang “usina bhachi nejean wakasara setarino”. Now, he has assumed the suit and matching headgear look which is unofficially referred to as Gaffa wear.

The look has become synonymous with him and him alone — he even sings “kapatani kanetsa patown ndini ndinako”.

Gospel artiste Fungisai Zvakavapano-Mashavave was quite the regular looking musician until she collaborated with Zim Dancehall artiste Killer T and assumed the Ras Fungisai tag.

With the song Kana Zvandibata, whose Zim Dancehall feel earned it airplay on various radio stations as well as night spots all over the country, Fungisai’s dress sense drew equal attention.

First, it was an appearance at the Zim Dancehall Awards in the capital and later at a radio station.

She wore what critiques called “outdated shoes which belonged to the 90s” and clothes which did nothing for her figure.

She blamed cyber bullies and social media abusers for the proliferation of the undesirable look.

Fungisai’s fashion faux pas and continuous wardrobe disasters became classic examples of what not to wear.

Then man of the moment Jah Prayzah (real name Mukudzei Mukombe) came onto the scene with his military regalia.

While it was rather basic, again, critiques castigated him for never getting out of his military wear — even at red carpet events.

To this year’s National Arts and Merit Awards, he exchanged his camouflage uniform for a red dress blazer, black pants and a red beret — still staying well within the army dress.

Zimbabwean celebrities have over the years continued to surprise their fans in all manner of regalia, some tasteful and some, not so much.

Nkosilesisa Ncube, Sunday Life Reporter
THE lives of two of Bulawayo’s prominent rappers, Cal_Vin and POY are soon to be featured in a biopic, focusing on Zimbabwean hip-hop culture.

The film is likely to be released in November, according to its producer and scriptwriter — Nigel Ndlovu.

The documentary, which is the first of its kind in Zimbabwe and includes the likes of Mzoe7, Guluva7 and UK-based Big C, centres on the Bulawayo hip-hop music journey and its history, pioneers, past and present rappers.

The biopic also centres at the victories, challenges and culture of the music industry in the City of Kings.

Ndlovu said he decided to do the documentary after realising a gap in detailing the local hip-hop industry.

“I’ve been around a lot of hip-hop MCs and I realised that there has been no story told about them. Many rappers, particularly from Bulawayo, were presented with Zim hip-hop awards and no one told that story, so I decided to do so,” said Ndlovu.

Ndlovu has been shadowing different artistes at last month’s Bigger than hip-hop and this month’s Made in Bulawayo Concert, as part of his research.

The biopic will particularly help young aspiring hip-hop artistes.

“There are so many links on social media of young people uploading their music, but we never get to see them grow into matured, full time artistes.

“I’m sure there is something they are not doing right so by telling their story, artistes will educate younger, up-and-coming rappers on how hip-hop functions, as both an art and a business,” said Ndlovu.

The biopic, whose initial production started in June this year, is set to be distributed at international film festivals.

“I plan to screen the documentary once or twice locally then take it to international festivals and I am currently in talks with distributers in Los Angeles in the US,” Ndlovu said.

Ndlovu started making films in 2012 and to date, he has worked on short films and music videos.

@nkocykay

Peter Matika, Senior Life Reporter
VIVACIOUS former Miss Tourism Zimbabwe Samantha Tshuma, among three Bulawayo beauties, namely the sexy and alluring Nyasha Mtamangira, charismatic Patience Phiri and the glitzy Chiedza Chichehwe, have all been cast to steer an all-new exciting ZBC reality TV show, focusing on women’s issues.

The show — The Chit-Chat Show — was launched last Tuesday and will be broadcast every week on that day at 11.15pm.
Mtamangira, a renowned TV hostess, told Sunday Life that ZBC had cast the bevy of beauties to not only attract an audience but to have the cast standing as a mouthpiece for everyday women.

“It’s an all-new exciting show that not only talks about the challenges faced by women but about women’s life in general. The show is a pre-recorded set and will have some really sensitive issues which affect women of all social strata,” she said.

Mtamangira added that the show didn’t have a particular presenter as the cast would be rotated each week.

“There will be no particular presenter, as we will be rotated to give our audience a chance to interact with the cast. The show is being shot at Montrose Studios in Bulawayo and each cast member gets a chance to steer the show. For example I can be given a topic to discuss such as ‘People say I’m a gold digger’ and I will discuss that because I too as a woman have experienced it,” said Mtamangira.

The show is rated 18 and above, perhaps because of the rather controversial and sensitive content.

This is one of the first reality TV shows to emerge from the City of Kings and seeks to be a major for women.

“We also hope the audience will not judge us according to the topics on discussion, as we will be steering and discussing real life issues affecting women of all races and tribes,” she said.

@peterkmatika