Nhlalwenhle Ncube
HAVE you ever been in a situation where you curse the day you fell in love, not because of terrible things happening, but due to too much love which suffocates you.
Some people have had heartbreaks following being loved too much that they even failed to tolerate the other person. Too much of everything is deadly! Contrary to love stories, there is something called too much love.
If you do not know how to create limits, you run the risk of pushing your love away. Love goes hand in glove with care, trust, jealousy, kindness and addiction. When you love too much, you cannot control yourself and end up boring your partner.
Many people are addicted to loving too much and smothering a partner without even realising it. And while they do this, they ignore all the warning signs and are completely taken off guard when their partner leaves them.
Although there is nothing wrong with showering your partner with love, there is a fine line between being attentive and smothering.
When you constantly cross the line of your partner’s tolerance and annoyance, your partner will probably display telltale signs that enough is enough and that they need you to back away.
Everyone dreams of having that person who loves her unconditionally, but it must not be too much. Loving someone too much will definitely push them away.
There is a divorce story which has been circulating on social media where a woman filed for divorce because her husband loved her too much.
Many people threw insults at the woman because they do not understand the torture and pain she is going through. She says she feels suffocated and no longer enjoys her space. Everything is just too much for her and as a result she has lost her happiness and independence.
It is important for people to know that smothering someone with love does not prove that you love them, rather it displays signs of insecurity and selfishness.
There is nothing wrong with showering your significant other with your undying love and attention, but crossing that fine line and traversing into the region of smothering is easier than you think.
Many say that the reason they smother their loved ones is because they are afraid of losing them. But almost always, the truth is, the more you suffocate them with love and attention, the further away you are pushing them.
When you really think about it, loving someone does not mean you have to breathe down their necks and keep tabs on them every minute of every day. Love is meant to be generous and trustworthy. If you cannot offer your love these fundamentals, then someone by end of it will be left heartbroken.
Bear in mind that loving someone is wanting the best for them.
No matter how much you are in love, you still want your freedom.
Wing clipping is the act of trimming a bird’s flight feathers so that it is no longer able to fly. Do not do this to the person you love. When you clip their wings, you are forcing them to be tethered to you.
By smothering them with too much affection, you are taking away their freedom. You have to give your loved one the chance to be free, even after you are married.
This does not mean turning a blind eye to extramarital affairs. It simply means letting them make decisions without the fear of having you coming down hard on them.
Do not place the person you love in a gilded cage because no matter how wonderful it is, it is an inescapable prison that no person should have to live in. Never clip your new love’s wings as nothing good will come out of it.
Let them have their freedom and if you are really meant to be, you will be together no matter what.
Loving someone means respecting their needs and desires and not forcing your way of life onto another person. Unless your partner is ready to fully accept you into his or her life and change their habits to make room for yours, you cannot break down the door and invite yourself in.
Respect your partner’s individuality, respect their wishes and desires and let the relationship healthily grow on its own.
Building the perfect relationship takes time and you have to remember that if you overdo things and try to take control of your partner, you will never get the relationship you crave for, as it will forever be stunted. The last thing that you want to do is to oppress the person you love.
You have to give them the independence that every human being needs to make their own decisions and grow into the person they were meant to be. Some people who love too much even limit their partner’s ability to make choices.
When they then realise that they in prison, they do whatever it takes to break free.
Familiarity breeds contempt, and as many couples will tell you, boredom as well. Everyone needs their space. Even old married couples appreciate spending some time away from each other.
Absence certainly makes the heart grow fonder as it gives your partner the chance to miss you. Give your partner time to be with friends and family.
Get to miss each other. The danger with those who love too much, they want you by their side all the time and treat you like their personal property. Most of the time, people tend to appreciate what they have when they are away from it and relationships are no different.
True love doesn’t mean being inseparable, it means being separated and nothing changes.
Too much of anything is bad. Too much affection and love can actually kill your relationship instead of strengthening it.
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