THE classic saying goes that age is nothing but a number, but is it really? When it comes to getting married, does that number suddenly matter?

In South Africa, minors can get married provided that their parents give consent, but the truth is that not a lot of parents are queuing up to do that.

In September, Sowetan broke a story of two high school pupils who got engaged at school, only for the school management to break off their engagement and suspended the two learners.

Eighteen-year-old Mduduzi Tlou and his 16-year-old girlfriend had gotten engaged after eight months of dating and both expressed how they wanted to get married in two years’ time.

The school, however, was not happy, and after suspending them, Sowetan spoke to Gauteng education spokesman Steve Mabona, who said that the pupils acted indecently by kissing and touching in front of their schoolmates, and that such behaviour would not be tolerated.

Surprisingly, the parents of both the pupils were very supportive of the union, with Tlou’s grandfather Jacob Xaba expressing that he was even willing to give his grandson his entire savings for lobola.

When it comes to young people getting married, the masses seem to be polarised. Some people believe that one can only handle the responsibility of marriage in their late 20s, while some people believe that the early you get married, the better.

Clinical psychologist Mampho Mofokeng says being married at a young age carries both advantages and disadvantages.

“Many experts agree that an adult’s brain fully matures at around the age of 21. This is the reason why most states will only allow a person to enter into a lawful contract at that age; because you are a fully fledged adult and are cognisant of the decisions you make.

“Without even getting technical, think about it: we are not the same people we were today when we were 16. Some of the things we deemed important are seen as trivial now. Also, some of the people we thought were ‘the one’ turned out to be nothing but puppy love in our journeys of self-discovery.

So it can be a bit of a challenge to find yourself in an institution like marriage, which, ideally should be till death do us part, and at that young age, most people are not really thinking that far.

“Having said that, there is something about growing with a person that brings about an incredible bond in the sense that all the life experiences, mistakes and momentous stages were shared with that one person that you are married to, and have been from a young age.

Will it be difficult? Absolutely, especially because the young couple may have no point of reference when it comes to how to handle and navigate a lifelong commitment like marriage. But if a young couple can look at it with a sense of adventure and a journey together, then they may just have hope of survival,” she says.

Mofokeng adds that if a young couple chooses to take this big step towards a holy matrimony, they would need a lot of help along the way. “A young couple will need a strong support system, which can be found through close family ties or even counselling.”

She says that a willingness to learn and be patient with each other will also be vital.

“It will be very important to keep the lines of communication open, and to be honest about your feelings. If you feel that you are struggling with certain aspects of marriage, like the massive responsibility that comes with parenthood for example, it would be immensely helpful to not only communicate with your partner about it, but also be willing to both seek help professionally.”— sowetanlive.co.za

Hi Sis Noe
WHAT are the dangers of having anal sex? — Curious.

Reply
Anal sex is defined as an act in which the penis is inserted into the anus of a sexual partner. In my words it involves trying to prevent a partner from defecating by pushing faeces back into the rectum. Disgusting isn’t it? Such a description of anal sex is deliberate because I don’t want you to do it.

Anal sex carries an elevated risk of passing on diseases because the anal sphincter is delicate, easily-torn tissue; a tear can provide an entry for pathogens. The high concentration of white blood cells around the rectum, together with the risk of tearing and the rectum’s function to absorb fluid, places those who engage in unprotected anal sex at high risk of sexually transmitted infections.

It increases the risk of anal cancer, anal warts and STIs. It can result in Hepatitis A which is a viral infection that can cause jaundice and abdominal pain. There is also the risk of Hepatitis C which is a progressive and sometimes fatal chronic liver disease.

It can lead to serious kidney infection. Most gravely there is no doubt that anal intercourse carries a greater risk of transmission of HIV than other sexual activities, particularly for the receptive partner. It is theoretically possible that frequent or vigorous anal sex could put undue pressure on the posterior (back) vaginal wall. This could lead to an increased risk for passing gas (farting) or even to anal continence problems.

Hi Sis Noe
I shaved my pubic hair off now I have pimples on my groin area. What could it be? — Worried.

Reply
It is probably folliculitis. This condition occurs when hairs become ingrown under the skin instead of growing out. Skin bacteria may infect the area and you get these little red pimple-like bumps that have white dots on top, just like little zits. It is not a big deal; it would have gone away on its own after a few days had you not scratched it.

Look for an antibiotic cream and apply on the area but it is not necessary as this is a self-limiting condition. If your condition persists, you may see a doctor for an antibiotic but I don’t think it will. Razors are nasty because they are very likely to make ingrown hairs as they cut the hair causing it to get stuck under the skin. Next time use a shaving machine and instead of removing all the pubic hair trim it.

Hi Sis Noe
I am thin and I hate that because it’s difficult to find clothes that fit and look nice on me. I went to the doctor and he said there was nothing wrong with me but still I am bothered by my weight. — Worried.

Reply
What you need to adjust is not your weight but your state of mind. Being lightweight is not an issue; the issue is that you lack confidence in all aspects of life.

You don’t need to gain weight to enjoy your life. You need to be always positive. While you fret about gaining weight some people envy your body, they want to lose weight but they are frustrated by the gruelling weight loss exercises they have to do.

Learn to love yourself and stop looking at other people. I am compelled to suspect that you are obsessed about gaining weight because of societal expectations. Are your friends telling you that you are not healthy? Definitely something needs to be adjusted but it’s not your weight. Accept who you are and turn your back to the mirror, maybe its lying to you. There are more important things in life to worry about than the size of your dress.

SOULMATES
I am a 41-year-old single mother based in Bulawayo. I am looking for a man who wants a serious relationship.

I am a 34-year-old HIV-positive man hoping to be connected with an HIV-positive woman aged 27 to 34 living with not more than two children.

I am a lady aged 42 HIV-positive looking for a man aged 42 to 50. I have two kids. I want a serious relationship. A God-fearing man if possible.

I am a lady aged 36 single and have one kid and HIV-positive would like to be set up with an HIV-positive man who is aged 38-45.

I am a 26-year-old single mother based in Bulawayo looking for a man who wants to be in a serious relationship.

I am a guy aged 30 looking for a serious lady aged from 20 to 30 years.

I am a 28-year-old man based in Bulawayo. I am looking for a woman aged 22 to 27 who is in Bulawayo.

Ngingumama olemnyaka engu 42 ngilabantwana 5 ngidinga ubaba ole45 kusiyaphezulu esingaphila sonke ma ekhona engi inbox kunumber zonalezi kuapp.

I am a men age 37 looking for a lady who is naturally beautiful preferably in Bulawayo or Kwekwe who is negative and ready for marriage with love working or not working.

I am kindly asking you to join me with a young man who wants a serious relationship. I am 22 years old lady with one child.

I am looking for an HIV-positive man who is aged 43 to 50 years. I am 40 years and a professional. I don’t mind colour, he should have a stable job.

I’m a man who is aged 34 looking for a woman willing to be loved. She should be based in Harare, Bulawayo or South Africa. I am prepared to travel.

I am a guy aged 45; need beautiful lady for long-term relationship. I am around Gweru-Zvishavane area.

I am a man who is aged 33 with one child looking for a beautiful lady aged between 22 to 26 HIV-negative with a baby or without, ready to settle down early next year. Thank you.

I’m a male aged 31. I am looking for a woman.

I’m a 34-year-old man looking for a loving and caring woman aged between 20-34 years.

I am a 54-year-old woman who is HIV-positive. I am looking for a man aged 57 to 60. I am based in Bulawayo.

I am a man who is aged 42. I am looking for a woman who is on ART who is ready for marriage. I am in Bulawayo.

I am a woman aged 44 and divorced for six years. Please help me with someone to date.

I am a 47-year-old God-fearing man who is HIV-positive. I am based in Bulawayo. The woman should be 40 and below.

I am a 37-year-old HIV-positive man who is based in Bulawayo. I am a civil servant, I seek a beautiful lady of the same status who is willing to settle down.

I am an HIV-positive woman aged 40 looking for a man who is aged 43 to 50 who wants a serious relationship. He should be in Bulawayo.

I am a 39-year-old man looking for a lady friend.

Reply
WhatsApp or SMS the number 0773111328 for the numbers of the above people — SMSs may attract a charge.

Nhlalwenhle Ncube

ADDICTED to pain!
Naturally, common sense tells us that people seek pleasure and avoid pain, but reality has proved this wrong. Many times we have seen people who are in abusive relationship clinging to their partners.

Pain has become part of their lives and no matter how many times they rush to you expressing how much they are heartbroken, they still continue in the relationship. It is not that they are happy or what, no, they are just addicted to pain and suffering.

This kind of addiction is very deadly and some have best described it as trauma bonding!

Sometimes the greater the pain, the more fiercely someone will cling to it. We see this on many fronts, from domestic abuse (when battered spouses repeatedly return to their abuser). Research has it that addiction to pain is one of the toughest problems to solve in human psychology.

I have always taken the issue of being addicted to pain lightly until recently when I came across some court papers of a woman who survived death by a whisker after being set alight by her husband. After the incident, her family forced her to dump the man, but she reunited with the man.

No one understands this woman’s behaviour; generally no one would want to be next to a person who wanted her dead. As if that is not enough, he beats her all the time, but she still wants to be with him.

Pain is really addictive. There are many people out there who cannot let go of their abusers. They do not see anything wrong in all this, but all they can do is find excuses to justify their partner’s terrible behaviour.

Some have been turned into ‘‘goblins’’ where their partners have forced them to cut communication with friends and family.

There is no such love because where there is love there is joy.

Never get used to pain and heartaches, the minute you start normalising the abnormal know that you are offside. Of course, most abusers are quick to apologise and promise to change many times, but it will be lies as their outrageous behaviour gets to be worse. Never waste time, take a stand and end the relationship!

If you stay too long in such a relationship, your body will become addicted to an abusive partner just like what happens to people who are drug addicts.

If somebody is mistreating you, why stick around? And just as no addictive drug is good for your health, no addictive person is either. They feel good in the moment, and when things get bad, you try to re-live that moment, completely in denial. In life, some people get addicted to people who abuse them, just as drugs abuse the addictive personalities of others.

Abusive people are unpredictable, worshipping you one second and threatening you the next, and you are always terrified, but always excited, too. Everything they do is another crazy story, but they slowly become stories you can’t share with friends, because while the stories might be amusing at first, your friends eventually intervene out of genuine concern for your safety.

Your abuser wants all of you, all the time.  They are obsessed with you, want to do everything with you, everything for you, and everything to you.

That’s love, right?Well, no. Doing things with your partner is important, but if your partner doesn’t respect the time you need for yourself, your work, your friends, and your family, they don’t love you. Still, when they do everything possible to make you want to spend all your time with them, it’s hard not to feel loved in the moment.

Then they start convincing you they are the only person who loves you, and you believe it, because you’ve never felt a rush like this. So they keep dragging you down until you hit rock bottom.

The lucky ones escape, and stumble upon articles or books that give them the terms to be able to understand that whats happening to them could be classed as “abusive relationship.” People stay in these relationships partly because they are trying to win back the abuser’s affection.

They become biologically attached to their abusers through something called “trauma bonding.” Unfortunately, for many people, when they try to leave these relationships they are so bonded to their abuser that they return. Others don’t try to leave at all and are only freed from the clutches of the abuse when they are discarded.

The truth of the matter is, recovery from an abusive relationship can be very similar to withdrawal from drug addiction due to the biochemical and psychological bonds survivors develop with their toxic partners.

Breaking free of an abusive relationship requires creating distance. This gives the victim an opportunity to free themselves of what amounts to addictive thinking – an intense desire to be near the very person who is causing them pain. The truth is that abusers know how to exploit your guilt and insecurities, and if you keep letting them communicate with you, they will keep breaking you. All you can do is to accept the horrors of withdrawal and know in your heart that once you have cured yourself of this addiction, something better awaits you on the other side.

To all those who are still in abusive relationships, find courage to end it. No matter how many excuses you make, your situation will not change, so leave sooner with your essence intact before it’s too late!

WhatsApp your views to 0712978471.

Barnabas Sibanda

Bruce Ndlovu
LAST week, Barnabas Sibanda, the former soldier famed for making a helicopter from scrap metal, visited the Sunday News to clear his name and correct some untruths told about his life.

In May this year, Sunday Life published an article on Sibanda, a figure who is an urban legend in Zimbabwe because of his inventiveness which took some aback in the 90s.

According to Sibanda, he was never dismissed from the army but instead retired with full military honours.

“I was not dismissed. I actually retired with full military honours and I continue to get invitations to State organised events,” he said.

He also said that he had never been divorced three times as had been claimed, charging anyone with proof of this to bring it forth. The aeronautical engineer and pilot also took exception to claims that he had tried to stab someone, adding that those that claimed that he was mentally ill also need to bring proof as he was a healthy man.

The liberation war hero said that the spirit of invention had not died in him, as he continued with his work even today.

“I am continuing to work running some business and the truth of the matter is that I have never faced any form of poverty. My mother owns a farm and I also have cattle, surely I cannot be said to be grinding poverty,” he added.

Calvin Gudu

Bruce Ndlovu, Sunday Life Correspondent
WHEN the song Ncam Ncam came out in the late 90s, it made Calvin Gudu an instant star. This was during the time when Zimbabwean urban music was still finding its voice and as the front man for the group known as Matonto, an outfit he had led alongside his brother Chris, Gudu was one of this urban awakening’s leading luminaries.

With silky smooth vocals and the looks to match, Gudu was undoubtedly the star of the show. On Ncam Ncam he was in top form, serenading listeners with a uniquely Zimbabwean take on a typical 90s slow jam.

However, beneath the surface the song hid explicit lyrics, masked perhaps by Gudu’s smooth voice and use of metaphor and innuendo. Simply put, Ncam Ncam was one of the most erotic songs that the Zimbabwean music scene had ever produced up to that point.

On the song, Gudu spells out what he plans to do to one lady who is now the object of his affection. In no uncertain terms, the charismatic singer promises to give this woman he desires the time of her life between the sheets. ‘‘I don’t want to put you under pressure but instead I seek to pleasure you’,’ he gentle whispers in her ear.

On national radio and on TV, thousands listened and watched as Gudu promised to take a woman to the heights of sexual pleasure. Surprisingly, in a time when HIV and therefore sexual education was high on the nation’s agenda, the song was a hit that seemed to be enthusiastically embraced by all and sundry.

“Imagine yourself as a guy who has been chasing this girl for a long time and she has been avoiding you,” Gudu told Sunday Life from his UK base in an interview.

“She has been basically making excuses not to see you. Then one weekend comes along and she decides to give you a chance.

Now she says its fine I will see you. Women are awakened by what they hear so what you say is very important. So on that song I thought let me tell this girl all that I would do to her.”

Even after two decades many, according to Gudu, feel like he was singing about his own experiences in the song.

“To be honest with you, I’m a highly creative guy. They’re many ideas that run in my mind and I like to explore whatever comes. A lot of people have developed mental illness because they fight these things. I choose not to do that. So with that being said I would like to make something clear, and this even goes to my mum and dad. I want to make it clear that I was not doing all those things that I was saying in that song. It was all a result of my imagination,” he said.

Coming from a strong Christian family, Gudu said that he never got reprimanded for the lyrics in the song. He attributes this to the fact that he believes, like most who heard the song at the time, they simply could not grasp what his lyrics meant.

“No I never got pushback from my family for the lyrics in my song. Let me put it this way, if your father used to go to the club and later on in life turned into a Christian, you will never know peace in your life.

“This is because he is always suspicious of what you’re doing. That wasn’t the case with my father. My father has been a Christian all his life so he doesn’t know all that. Christians don’t know about this stuff. I’ve had pastors come to me and ask me to sing Ncam Ncam at church events and I’m bemused,” he said.

After making his name as a one of the luminaries in Zimbabwe’s urban scene, Gudu’s career has taken a different turn in the United Kingdom. Gone is the swashbuckling crooner who used to have young women across Zimbabwe weak at the sound of his sultry voice. Years after he gave Zimbabwe Ncam Ncam, that unforgettable bedroom tune that rivals anything the R’n’B genre has ever offered, Gudu has found God and is now a fervent member of Word of Life church.

“I would like to point out that there was nothing wrong with the music that I was making before I went the gospel route. Apart from a couple of songs perhaps like Ncam Ncam, there was nothing that was particularly X-rated. It was all good music that I’m proud to have made,” he said.

But just what prompted the musician to make such a dramatic U-turn?

“My urban music era was offering me too much candy. It was like eating popcorn. You go through four or five buckets of the stuff and yet you still don’t feel full. You still feel unfulfilled. That’s exactly what I was going through. When you’re doing urban music you’re always under pressure to do certain things that make you look cool.

“You always have to girl that pretty girl in town that everyone wants, you have to get that new production or this and that.

You’re always in search of that new thing. You’ve got to go to the club and do these things and in the end I felt that the urban scene was pushing me towards things that I felt were unnecessary,” he said.

Despite having left the dog eat dog of urban music, Gudu points out that even gospel music has its own unique pressures.

“What I have noticed is that when I was doing circular music, there was a lot of pressure to market myself. In circular music, you’re always under pressure to make yourself look cool. This is because if you’re not hip, people will not buy your music.

You’re under pressure to market yourself in a certain why and I’ve noticed that it’s the same thing with gospel music but in the opposite direction.

“In gospel music, you’ve got to market yourself as the good guy. You’ve got to be the guy who goes to church, the guy who has one woman at a time, the guy who listens and is well behaved. As I’ve made my transition into gospel music I’ve discovered that I’m more at home with that kind of pressure than the kind that was brought on by circular music,” he said.

Since he unleashed Above All, an album released under his Praise Worth record stable, Gudu has been on a journey to rebrand himself. It is a journey that has not been easy thus far, as to many he is still the same man that made Ncam Ncam.

“When you were doing circular music for so long, people brand you. You’re known as that guy who did Ncam Ncam or Tombofara. So since my last album it was all been about showing people that this is a different Calvin.

“The more things we do in the gospel genre, the more people come around to this idea of the new me. So over the last couple of years I’ve been mingling with people on the gospel scene as opposed to the urban scene which is what I had been doing previously in my career,” he said.

As he works on more new music, Gudu is confident that he is making the necessary headway.

“Changing from gospel to circular music is not easy. I feel like we’ve spent the last few years preparing me for now. We’ve fully embraced the direction that we’re heading in and can finally come to the full realisation of our ambitions,” he said.

Oliver Mtukudzi

Bruce Ndlovu, Sunday Life Correspondent
DURING a time when high profile live gigs have dried up in Bulawayo, revellers in the City of Kings will have to fork out as much as $120 if they want to see music superstar Oliver Mtukudzi perform in the city for the first time this year.

Tuku is set to make an appearance at the inaugural Bulawayo Spring Dinner Jazz Festival where he will share the stage with Afro-jazz man of the moment Bekezela and a host of other local and international stars at the Large City Hall.

In past shows where Tuku has brought his music to Bulawayo, revellers have rarely ever had to fork out more than $5 to see the veteran in action.

However, this is a show with a difference, with the promoters, Big Scale Entertainment, trying to bring a concept that has rarely been tried to a city starved of one of Zimbabwe’s major music exports’ live shows this year.

Good music, good food and a serene environment are expected on 7 September when Tuku and other musicians pick up their musical instruments at the Large City Hall.

“There’s going to be a lot of exciting stuff but the most exciting is the marriage between fine dining, wining and good music.

You know in most instances you either enjoy the music or you enjoy the food with a karaoke kind of background. So we’ve said we’re not pulling any punches. We’re pulling all the stops to give Bulawayo residents and Zimbabweans in general, an experience worth remembering,” said Big Scale Entertainment’s Calvin Chauke.

Chauke went on to explain the $120 price tag that had been slapped on Tuku’s 2018 debut in Bulawayo, saying that this particular show came with a lot of perks that had never been seen before in most gigs hosted in the City of Kings.

“It’s important to note that the most important thing is here not just to see the musicians or listen to the music. You can do that by listening to the radio. The ambiance is what we’re looking at. For a VVIP ticket, which is going for $120, you’re looking at the revellers getting a front row seat, getting a five-or six-course meal or whatever they want because the food is unlimited and a bottle of whisky,” he said.

While the $120 asking price might scare off some, Chauke said that they were trying their best to make sure no one could miss out on the show.

“Eat as much as you like. We’re not pulling any punches. For a VIP ticket, which is going for $80, there is going to be a three-course meal which comes with a bottle of brandy. For the general sitting, which is $40, revellers will get the main meal and a welcome drink. The purpose is to try to accommodate all jazz and soul Zimbabweans,” he said.

For the romantics, Chauke said that they should not shy away from impressing their loved ones.

“For those that are looking to impress their loved ones, this is an opportunity. What we’ve got is an organisation that has decided to reshape the entertainment scene in Bulawayo. This is going to be our first gig but definitely not our last. As Big Scale Entertainment we are not here to make up numbers. We’re here to set the trend,” he said.

Chauke added that despite the fact that the idea of such a show was untried and untested, they were happy to break new ground in Bulawayo.

“We’ve done a couple of these in South Africa. It’s an in-thing that side and we felt that Bulawayo was lacking for this kind of thing. This is virgin territory and as you approach it you might do so with enthusiasm or you might be scared. But the truth of the matter is that someone has to do it and we’re stepping up to the plate,” he said.

Rutendo Chidawanyika

ALTHOUGH going to the gym shouldn’t be a fashion show, it’s still important to look good. Besides, when you look good, you feel good. Wearing comfortable clothing that you feel confident in and that allows for ease of movement will help you feel better about your workouts and maybe even keep you a bit more motivated.

Sports bras
A good sports bra is important in providing support and minimising excessive movement. The bra should be a blend of cotton and a breathable material such as Lycra mesh to help sweat evaporate and keep odour locked in.

Try on different bras until you find the one that provides the most support and comfort. Try jumping up and down or running on the spot as you try different bras to measure their support.

The bra you choose should fit snugly, offering support but not constricting your range of motion. Make sure the straps don’t dig into your shoulders or the band into your rib cage. It should fit snugly, but you should be able to breathe comfortably.

THE SMALL BUT BIG THINGS TO CONSIDER
Toiletries: Remember to bring a shower towel, bath sponge, shampoo, conditioner, and soap to freshen up after your workout. Or even a spray to wear before your workout.

Hair ties or clips/ Cap: If you have long hair/ weave or fringe that fall into your face, don’t forget to bring hair scrunches or clips to pin your hair back. Nothing is more annoying than trying to exercise when your hair keeps falling in your face.

Towel: Towels are both a comfort measure and a necessity. You’ll be glad to have one with you after you’ve worked up a sweat.

Flip-flops: Keep your feet clean and prevent athlete’s foot by wearing your flip-flops in the shower.

Water bottle: It’s important to keep hydrated throughout the day, and it’s essential during and after your workouts.

Gym bag: Carry a gym bag that’s big enough to carry everything you need at the gym but small enough to fit in your locker.

Running shoes: The right running shoe should provide stability, motion control, and cushioning for your runs. Depending on the shape of your foot you may need a different sized arch. Talk to a salesperson that specialises in running shoes to find your best fit if you are not sure.

Walking shoes: An ideal walking shoe should allow for a range of motion and cushioning.

Cross-trainers: These are most commonly worn in the gym. These shoes are ideal for someone who occasionally runs, walks, and/ or takes fitness classes. They should offer flexibility, cushioning, and lateral support.

Workout clothes: The type of material that you choose to wear to the gym should allow you to feel dry, comfortable, and confident. Your main focus while exercising should be giving it your all, and you shouldn’t be self-conscious or uncomfortable in the clothing you are wearing. Depending on the type of workout you are performing, different clothing may be required.

The cut of the clothes you wear to the gym should allow you to move freely without constricting your movements. You will be moving around and bending often while exercising, so the clothes you wear should allow for flexibility. Look for clothing made of synthetic material such as nylon, acrylic, or polypropylene for a good balance of functionality and comfort. Cotton is probably the most common workout fabric, as it is reasonably priced, breathable, and comfortable. However, it tends to hold moisture and become quite heavy if you sweat. Depending on the climate and your comfort level, a fitted T-shirt or tank top (made of the materials noted above) with comfortable pants or gym shorts are ideal exercise clothing options. Follow these tips on what to wear to the gym and you’ll look and feel great!

Socks: When choosing socks to wear to the gym, don’t make the dreaded mistake of sporting dress socks with running shoes. Choose white or grey or black socks that allow your feet to breathe and are comfortable to train in. Wear socks made from acrylic or an acrylic blend. This material doesn’t retain moisture as cotton and wool often do, which can lead to blisters and other foot problems.

MEN PLEASE!
Don’t wear flip flops: The footwear you choose for a workout should provide proper support and protection to your feet.

Wearing appropriate footwear actually reduces your risk of injury and improves your physical performance.

Don’t wear jewellery at the gym: Not only is jewellery unnecessary at the gym — it’s unsafe. You may have one accessory that you never take off. Such as a wedding ring. Whether you’re wearing chains, watches, bracelets or ring, you risk damaging jewellery by banging metal against metal or snagging it on a machine.

Do wear moisture-wicking clothing: When you’re working up a sweat at the gym, stay cool and comfortable in moisture-wicking clothes. Workout clothes are designed to keep the perspiration away from your body. Wear a performance t-shirt that is designed to draw sweat away from your body and to the outer surface.

Do wear clothing that actually fits: Believe it or not, workout clothing that is too big is functionally worse to wear to the gym.

Choose materials (like a nylon-elastane mix) and a fit that gives you freedom of movement. The small percentage of spandex allows for a greater range of motion during exercise and provides a very comfortable fit without being too tight. So ladies and gents lets meet at the gym in the appropriate attire. It’s not too late to get those summer bodies in check.

Email: rutendochidawanyika3@gmail.com

Lovert Mafukure

Car smokes on start up every morning, then it clears up. The issue of exhaust smoke is quite common and it’s very hard to tell sometimes or pinpoint the actual problem. It can be nothing to worry about or it can be a big problem.

It all depends on how old the engine is, the colour of the smoke and whether its present when idling or under load or heavy acceleration and it also depends on whether the engine has run too hot or not before.

First of all, we’d want to determine what colour the smoke is. Usually it’s either white or blue and you also need to make sure that the smoke you are seeing isn’t actually steam. Steam is common on colder days or when we have a wet spell, it’s caused by condensation. Black smoke is usually running on too rich a mixture and we won’t really look into that at this time.

We’d need to answer a few questions so we get to the bottom of the problem. Is the smoke whitish or blue? Is there a white milky residue on the ceiling of your oil cap? Is your radiator clean with clear coolant? Is the engine oil clean or frothy?

If the smoke is whitish, it’s possible that your engine is burning coolant. What it means is that there possibly is an internal leak, possibly a cylinder-head gasket leak.

What happens is that when the head gasket has a leak, coolant seeps into the combustion chambers when the car is not running — in this case overnight as your car smokes in the morning. The cooling system is pressurised and when there is a leak the coolant leaks into the combustion chambers so when you start up your engine that coolant burns passing out the white smoke.

You would notice a considerable loss of coolant if this is the case. If you constantly need to add coolant in your radiator then that possibly the problem. Usual causes are engine overheating from running car with no coolant or perhaps a faulty fan or thermostat.

You may also want to check the oil cap for any milky residue. Remove the oil cap and check if the inside has any white milky residue. If so, it still points to  the head gasket having a leak. You may want to park your car and attend to it before it’s too late. Coolant or water mixing with oil is just as good as food poisoning to the human body. Your engine will take quite a beating if oil mixes with coolant so your urgent attention would be needed.

In the event that the radiator also has a milky kind of coolant, it points to an even worse head gasket leak. Since you didn’t mention overheating I take it it hasn’t reached this point as yet but if you keep driving it without sorting out the problem then more problems worse than the smoke you see will arise.

Moving onto the next likely issue, if the smoke is blue in colour we’d then need a different set of questions to answer so that we get to the bottom of the problem. Is the smoke on start-up only? That question has been answered and we do know that the smoke goes after start-up.

Does the smoke come back under load, when the car is now moving does it still smoke? If it just smokes when idling on start-up and the smoke is blue then worn valve stem seals could be the culprit. You would need to check and be sure that the smoke isn’t present when the engine has warmed up to ascertain that its valve seals.

Worn valve seals will let oil drip into the combustion chamber and when you start your car up, that oil burns and consequently the puff of blue smoke.

This is not a problem that requires immediate attention, it may not cause other bigger problems like that of mixing oil and coolant. You would just need to monitor your oil level overtime though. If it bothers you that much as it would bother me, a cylinder head job would be in order.

Normally, smoke from worn valve seals is apparent on start-up and when engine warms up it goes away. It may not always be so easy to tell if indeed its valve seals that are worn out, but the simplest way to tell is by checking if the engine smokes with no load and under load.

If your engine just smokes on start up with no load then it’s probably the valve seals, if it smokes with load, then you might also have worn out rings as well.

Ultimately you will need to do a compression test to ascertain if the compression is good then the valve stem seals are bad and the rings are still okay. I hope that helps your case.

@lovert116
Automart Used Spares Centre – Quality Used Japanese Spares
+263 772 33 99 38 – automartzw@gmail.com/ facebook: @automartusc

Lyrico Ryan

Nigel Siziba/ Khahliso Ncube, Sunday Life Reporters
THERE is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve and that is the fear of failure. But for Ryan Jabulani Moyo popularly known as Lyrico in music circles to be riding high on his career he first conquered the fear to fail.

Lyrico Ryan (17) has been in the music industry since 2013 but no one has ever heard of him up until now when his two songs Catch me if you can and Money showers went viral on social media and Nigerian music blogs.

“I started music in 2013 when I was part of a group called Rap soldiers which was just a group we formed to keep ourselves busy after school. We then realised that we can make a living out of it and we decided to venture into music full time.”

The teenager said he had a hard time to break into the music industry as he had a lot of failed projects but he stood firm.

“At the age of 12 we released our first album which was a complete disaster as it did not get any public attention,” he said.

After falling out with Luveve 5 Entertainment and moved to Real Music Emperor which was too slow to release his tracks and this delayed him in the competitive world of music.

“After the failure of our first album we had to leave LV5 as we were depending on our producer so we started paying studio time in other studios until we got signed by Real Music Emperor which was too slow to release our tracks and that was dragging us back in such a competitive music world.”

He also gave gratitude to excellence music that has taken him to this level.

“In 2016 we performed in Miss Tshabalala and we impressed Koko of Excellence Music but unfortunately our group did not do any projects under Excellence Music but in 2017 I reunited with Excellence and got a recording deal in 2018 that is when I earned a name Lyric Monster because of my aggression on the mic. I also featured in Koko’s album Dark Thoughts,” said Lyrico.

Marshal Chiza

Danisa Masuku, Sunday Life Correspondent
KENNETH James Du Plooy (34) successfully launched his debut motivational book titled, Smashing your limitations last Saturday.

Du Plooy pointed out that his 87-page inspirational book came about after he realised that he lacked self-belief.

“I was that person who had low self-esteem, as a result I could not believe in myself as such that was a major setback as I failed to achieve my goals,” said Du Plooy.

The fresh writer who is a medical practitioner went on to reveal that before he penned this motivational book he even failed to inspire people whom he interacted with in his medical field.

“In my interactions with a number of people from different backgrounds I failed to spark hope in that person who seemed to be haunted by the ‘I can not’ thought pattern because I faced that challenge also,” he explained.

In a bid  to overturn the challenge that seems to be haunting a number of people, in this book Du Plooy says: “Identify the challenges, devise some means on how to overcome them, implement the  strategies on how to overcome those challenges.”

The motivational book also states that some people spend much time on things that do not add value to their lives.

“I have noted with concern that there are some people who  begin the day without  having a plan for that particular day or even targets and  due to that they end up doing things that are unproductive and realise later that they have wasted precious time,” he laments in the book.

He revealed that he spent nine months in coming up with the book that was published by Billionaire publishers owned by young entrepreneur and success coach Marshal Chiza.

Nhlalwenhle Ncube

LOVE is not supposed to hurt. If it does then it is absolutely fake!

Love is the most incredible thing in the world, but when those you love fail to give it back, one becomes bitter and starts losing hope in it. The worst part about heartbreak is that you lose yourself trying to hold on to that person who cares little.

Truth be told, there is nothing as difficult as being in a relationship with a moody person. You get to be confused and hurt the most as their behaviour is unpredictable. You are never sure of what to say or do around them, lest you mistakenly step on their toes.

You feel like you have to walk on eggshells when around them. You never know when you are going to say something that will set them off as they are like a time bomb ready to explode anytime and nothing pleases them. When you try hard to understand and engage them in a conversation, they will always tell you that everything is fine and you are just bothering them.

This is the burden of being in love with a moody person and it hurts!

Dealing with moody people can become tiresome in a long-term relationship. It is normal for everyone to be a little moody from time to time, some people have more frequent and more volatile mood swings. If your partner is one of those people, life can really become unpleasant.

We all struggle with vulnerable feelings in love whether we want to admit it or not. It’s inevitable that you will hurt each other with careless words or selfish actions. While these occasions sting, the pain is often fleeting and you have to get over it quickly.

Of course true love sees beyond all imperfections as each party gets to accept the other person the way they are, but it should not be torture. Even if you know your partner’s weakness, at times you fail to handle their mood swings as they leave you heartbroken.

A moody person will make his better half feel lonely and rejected. This hurts and only love can cover up all pain and make someone feel wonderful again. So even if a person is moody, when he loves, he should be on top of his game to cover up for his weakness.

Remember that the most amazing and romantic things aren’t in materialistic stuff. The things that matter the most are those little things you do every day to show your significant other that you care and that you are thinking of them. When you love someone unconditionally, you would go out of your way to make them happy and feel special.

Mood swings are temporary and that is the reason why they are called such. A moody person may simply be going through a rough time in his or her life. Your partner may be exhausted, ill, worried or unhappy. If so, once the root cause is resolved, the moodiness is likely to recede. Your partner may just need to be listened to and supported. However, if your partner is habitually moody and cranky for no apparent reason, there may be more to it. So figure out and wait for your partner to heal.

A moody person can go quiet for no reason and doesn’t say a single word to you. She/ he just sits there and look miserable.

The worst thing is that this silent treatment drives the other partner crazy. One day she’s fine and laughing and joking, the next she’s not saying a word and most of the time her mood swings have no grounds whatsoever. Being in such a relationship tortures someone’s heart.

At times you also have to check on what causes your partner to be moody so you that you can find the best way of dealing with her. Since your unconditional love has forced you to stick to that person despite their weakness, then know how to handle him than to be frustrated by it all the time.

At times mood swings can be caused by hormone fluctuations and this does not only happen to women, but men as well. The best remedy is that when your partner gets moody, it is important to stay calm. Understand that they need their space at times. Of course be there, if they need you around, but let them work through their own frustrations. Don’t get easily offended; show some affection, making sure you don’t overdo it.

It is important to maintain your own good mood. There’s no need for both of you to be moody. Your own emotional reaction to your partner’s bad mood, if indulged and expressed, will often make a bad situation worse. Keep this mantra at the front of your mind at all times: you cannot control your partner’s mood. You can influence it, meaning with a strategic response you can increase the likelihood that it will improve, but that won’t happen if your strategy is simply to indulge your own emotional reaction.

To  avoid constant heartbreaks, when in love with a moody person, develop a strategy ahead of time to deal with him/ her so it does not take away your happiness.

WhatsApp your comments to 0712978471

Parcelle Ascott

Bruce Ndlovu
PARCELLE Ascott has become the latest Bulawayo born expatriate to crack it in Hollywood, earning a role as the star of a new Netflix sci-fi series called The Innocents.

The 25-year-old made headlines across the world for his starring role in the series, as he has seemingly bypassed the British television scene and gone straight to the bright lights of Hollywood.

His success has baffled even those in the United Kingdom, where his family moved for greener pastures when he was three years old.

“I was born in Zimbabwe, Bulawayo to be precise,” he told the BBC when asked why he referred to himself as British-Zimbabwean.

“My mum would work two jobs trying to support our family as much as she could. So I kind of want to tell my story in order to send that message to show people that they can dream and they can achieve the goals that they set out as long as they work hard,” he said.

Although he has his face on a billboard on New York’s famous Time Square, Ascott said it would mean more for him if he could get the same in his hometown.

“It would be an incredible feeling. I actually have a video of my family who celebrated when they saw the trailer. Just to see their faces and how much it means to them . . . it’s bigger than me. I’ve received lovely messages from Zimbabweans who acknowledge that they found out from Google search that I’m Zimbabwean. I’ve received a lot of messages from social media alone. Anything I can do to give back and show Zimbabwe in a positive light is something that I want to do,” he said.

Ascott is set to have a prominent role in the Netflix series, as the streaming service continues to set the TV industry ablaze with its original content.

According to the show’s synopsis, when teenagers Harry (Ascott) and June (Sorcha Groundsell) run away from their repressive families to be together, they’re derailed by an extraordinary discovery — June’s ability to shape-shift.

As the star-crossed lovers struggle to control this strange new power, a mysterious professor reveals that June is not alone: there are more shifters out there like her, and he promises to cure June and reunite her with the mother who deserted her three years ago.

Hi Sis Noe
MY boyfriend has been sexting with some girl in South Africa. They have never met but they send each other nude pictures and videos. He says it does not qualify as cheating because they never got physical. — Confused.

Reply
He is cheating, period. Sex with someone else, even in a virtual scenario, is sex with someone else. If your boyfriend wants to engage in a second life online he can’t really expect it to run concurrently with the one in which you two are dating.

He may like to cast himself as an avatar, out there on a great big solo cyber adventure, but it’s his real brain and his real body that are engaged in these acts of infidelity.

Although the internet offers us all far greater opportunities for expanding our sexual horizons, it doesn’t absolve us of our accountability.

Your boyfriend is making a choice when it comes to his sexual activities that is as real as if he were having sex with some woman living down the road. He can’t expect to continue with one foot wedged in your front door and the other tangled up elsewhere. Don’t accept his nonsense.

Hi Sis Noe
I have a girlfriend and I love her, but I want to have a threesome. — Worried.

Reply
Just because you fantasise about something doesn’t mean you have to do it — or there wouldn’t be a long-term union left intact. But if cerebral adventures are not enough, then prepare yourself to make some compromises.

There is nothing wrong with monogamy, but if you are lusting for further stimulation and your girlfriend doesn’t want to partner you down that road it’s time to reconsider for both your sakes. There are plenty of women around who could enjoy a role in your sexual adventures.

Whether they would also provide you with a “sweet” and “happy” relationship is another matter. There is nothing wrong with your fantasies — they’re pretty pedestrian by today’s standards — but you need to be comfortable with your desires and with a willing playmate.

Only you can gauge how imperative it is to you to physically explore your erotic dreams, but the answer needs to inform your choice of partner. We all have red lines in our relationships and monogamy is not always where the buck stops. Establishing individual boundaries is an important part of getting to know each other and learning to live together.

Accepting that living out your fantasies requires a partner who wants to accompany you is a must here. What you shouldn’t do is betray your girlfriend. There is no right or wrong, it’s all about making a mature decision about what you value most. But “having it all” in the field of desire is the most delusional fantasy of all.

Hi Sis Noe

I have been trying to find love through your column but I am failing. What’s wrong with me? — Lonely.

Reply
The problem with internet dating is you both know why you are at the table and that sets the stakes quite high from the outset.

Far more important than securing dates is setting about your own life with enthusiasm and appetite. If you are busy, stimulated and engaged you are at your most attractive, not just to those around you but also to yourself. Internet dating can actually present a reduction in choices and chances.

It turns partner-seeking into a process better suited to casting a movie than forging lasting connections.

I know even as I write that there are plenty of people who have met, married and made a life together as a result of my SOUL MATE column. I’m delighted for them all, but also impressed by their good fortune. It’s often more of a test of your resilience than a romantic journey.

I advise you to plough your spare time not into interacting with your smartphone as you seek out love but investing in the life you currently have. After you know who you are you will know what you want. That way it will be easy for you to get someone using my column or in any other way.

Hi Sis Noe
My best friend’s husband bought me a dress and told me it’s just a gift but I should not tell my friend. I don’t know what he is trying to do but I suspect that he wants me. — Confused.

Reply
My hunch, like yours, is that your friend’s husband has ulterior motives. That said, this man’s only misdemeanour at the moment is to have asked you to keep your friend in the dark. It could certainly have been a spontaneous act of kindness and God knows we could do with more of those in the world.

But even if it was a genuinely compassionate gesture, the fact that he is embarrassed about it and trying to make you complicit in covering up suggests subtler, potentially shadier sensitivities at play.

In this instance I don’t think you need to shine a torch on his motives, but if he makes more advances then you will need to put him in his place.

Should a similar advance be made with the expectation of secrecy you should tell him you are uncomfortable about deceiving your friend and offer him a few days in which to explain himself to her. This is not your mess and it’s certainly not your job to tidy up after him. If he fails to come clean you will be left with no alternative but to tell your friend, but I’m sincerely hoping it doesn’t come to that.

Hi Sis Noe
I am 35 years old and married to a wonderful man but I don’t want to have sex with him anymore. I love my husband but I just don’t want sex. My husband says sex is connected to love and says if I don’t have sex with him it means I don’t love him. — Help.

Reply
I think you are being selfish and childish. Your husband is right; sex is a way of expressing love. That said, your husband sounds like a decent, understanding man who has failed to read your mind. You have gone from doing what was required to a full shutdown and, judging by your text, with not much in between.

That makes you neither unusual nor unreasonable. Then again, sex is never just sex. Expressing physical passion and withholding it is part of any relationship and is as much about control.

If you want to remain married then sex is part of the package, unless you and your husband decide you prefer a less inclusive deal.

Eroticism is generally something we have to create for ourselves and whether you turn to sexy films, or stories, time alone in your bedroom or active participation in achieving sexual satisfaction, there is a lot you can do for yourself. I can’t magically make you feel aroused by your husband, but I can urge you to delve deeper into your own desires, discover what does turn you on and try to bring that sense of adventure and excitement back into your bedroom.

If you don’t want to move on, or redefine your marriage as a friendship, appreciating your husband’s positive virtues and developing new ways to ignite old passions is the only alternative.

Madlela Skhobokhobo

Bruce Ndlovu
THIS time last year, Madlela S’khobokhobo was the Bulawayo music scene’s man of the moment.

His viral hit, SaMamo, had been dominating the charts for months and the Bulawayo Arts Awards had crowned him the king of the Bulawayo music scene in their inaugural edition.

More awards were to follow and as his acclaim grew, so did his attractiveness to corporate entities. He secured lucrative endorsements, with a deal with telecommunications giant NetOne his most glittering corporate triumph.

Madlela was a man who, it seemed, could do no wrong.

However, an artiste is only as good as his last hit and it was not going to be long before the naysayers would start questioning whether Madlela would manage to replicate that success.

Would he go out like some artistes in the past and get thrown into the dustbin of music history to be forever remembered as a one-hit wonder? Or would he build on the success of that humorous, catchy hit and continue to build on his career?

These are questions that are yet to be answered, questions that Madlela constantly asked himself as he made his latest album, Majazana. The seven track effort was released in Gwanda yesterday.

“The fear has always been there ever since I made SaMamo,” the rhumba artiste said when Sunday Life asked if he was afraid that his new hits would not live up to the expectations set by his most popular tune.

“This is because as an artiste you don’t know whether people will like a song or not when it enters the market. People choose what they want and you can never be sure whether what you have made in the studio will be to their liking. So at this point I’m just hoping and praying that they will embrace Majazana.”

Although he had his fears, Madlela said his talent would see him come out on top again in future.

“I’m confident in my ability because the talent that brought the people SaMamo is still the same talent that sat down and came up with new music,” he said.

Madlela said as popular as SaMamo was, it had also put a lot of pressure on him.

“We’ve had pressure to release more music ever since the success of SaMamo. Fans have been baying for an album but we decided to take our time. That’s why it took us two-and-a-half years to release this project,” he said.

However, the musician acknowledged the doors that the album had opened for him.

“Before SaMamo people just knew Madlela the actor. Madlela the musician was not as well known but SaMamo changed all that. That song broadened my market and allowed me the opportunity of reaching people I had no chance of impacting with my music in the past,” he said.

As a result of the song’s success, he had even quit his job.

“That song enabled me to also retire from my job in marketing. It gave me space to quit my day job and become a full time musician, something that was not possible in the past. It also gave me the opportunity to come back home. This was something that I had wanted for so long but I was really afraid of doing. I didn’t even give the possibility of coming home much thought,” he said.

Moving back to Zimbabwe from South Africa was the best decision he could have made, the rhumba musician said, as it put him in a position to capitalise on his music’s sudden popularity.

“Looking back at it, coming back home was one of my best decisions. It opened doors like the NetOne deal which was a very big endorsement for my career. When a company as big as that chooses you as their brand ambassador it means that they’ve got a lot of confidence in your brand,” he said.

Despite the benefits that he has reaped from that song’s success, Madlela is sometimes taken about by his own meteoric rise to stardom.

“I was in Harare yesterday (Thursday) and I was surprised that so many people in that part of the country recognise me. I didn’t think my face was known as far as Harare, or any part of Mashonaland. When I was in the studio I was also surprised with the way I was treated by other artistes. They were so happy to see me and it was all very overwhelming,” he said.

Despite his popularity and accolades, Madlela has not been as visible in Bulawayo as some fans might have launched.

Launching his album in Gwanda was a clear enough signal of where his heart lies and some may have begun wondering what sort of relationship he has with the country’s second largest city.

“Gwanda is my home. That’s where my umbilical cord is buried so one always finds themselves in that sort of place. One thing about our shows in Gwanda is that our shows are always full. The people have never disappointed. However, we are aware that people in Bulawayo also support us. We’re going to do something special for Bulawayo but you just don’t rush into Bulawayo. You have to make sure that everything is perfect before you rush there otherwise you’ll be disappointed,” he said.

Bruce Ndlovu, Sunday Life Correspondent
BY the time he was 13, Foster Dingani (26) had lost both parents. Like many people who become orphaned at such a young age, Dingani was lost. A cloud of helplessness follows many an orphan and as he greeted adolescence, Dingani found himself under its shadow.

Suddenly, the worries of a normal teenager were not for him. Rather, he was worried about where his next meal was coming from. What the future, or even the next few days would hold for him were things that he did not concern himself much with.

In fact, he had all but given up on becoming anything noteworthy in life.

“To be honest with you, I didn’t have hope, I would do anything in life,” he told Sunday Life in an interview.

After finding shelter and love at Zimkids Orphan Trust in Pumula (Bulawayo), Dingani struck a friendship with Collen Makurumidze (25), then only 15 years of age, who was also yet another down and out orphan. Under the trust’s roof, the two were fed and had their school fees paid for. More important perhaps than these essentials, education and food, the two had taken part in the building of the centre.

They had got their hands dirty as, brick by brick, they had seen the structure rise. Now it was time to turn on the lights on. It was during the centre’s bid to get electrified that the two boys, who have been destitute only a couple of years previously, found out about the wonders of the sun.

“There was a guy who was supposed to install a solar system at the time but there was no one assisting him because the team that was working with him had abandoned him,” said Makurumidze.

“The two of us knew the basics about electricity so he gave us a few instructions. He told us what sockets he wanted and gave us a list of other things he wanted us to buy. We brought the supplies and then he gave us three weeks to connect a solar panel for the centre. We did it within a week and he was amazed. He then said they were some solar panels that needed installation and gave us money to do research over the phone on the internet.”

The pair, shunned by a society that gives the cold shoulder to those that need its care the most, surprised the seasoned professional with their efficiency.

“We did our research and he taught us a few things and the rest we did ourselves. From then he taught us how to make connections but he was in a hurry. We did what he asked and all he had to do was to come and turn on the power,” said Makurumidze.

Their efficiency, confidence and determination had not gone unnoticed. Soon even professionals were interested in them. It was time to take the next step in their journey and they found many willing to help them in this leap forward.

“Another team from South Africa came to put electric fence around the centre. They then asked for local artisans in Pumula who could help and we told them we could do it. They showed us what to do by putting a bit of electric fence around one corner of the centre and then they challenged us to finish the rest within two weeks. Instead we told them we could finish it within a week. However, we actually did so within four days. A month later the whole team came back, including the guy we installed the solar for, and they asked to take the two of us twice a week for training because they felt that we knew what we were doing,” said Makurumidze.

The two boys would soon find themselves in the hands of Bob McGowan, one of the pioneers of solar technology in Zimbabwe. McGowan was a mentor with a difference, as he believed that he did not have to hold the hands of these fledgling young renewable energy trailblazers. They would have to sink or swim on their own.

“He gave us some manuals and told us to figure it out ourselves. We did that and the next day we completed our very first job at a private home in Emganwini. We installed a 150 Watt solar geyser,” said Makurumidze.

Going against the odds is what the two boys had done all their life and it was something that they were about to become experts in their newly found profession.

“Our second project was in Hillside and because the solar panels were to be installed on a separate six-metre stand, the guy who hired us told us that others had failed before us. First a company of eleven had failed then a company of eight and a company of nine had also tried and failed. Then we came and we managed to pull it off on our own. It was just the two of us.

We finished it on the third morning,” said Dingani.

Six months after McGowan had taken them under his wing, the two boys decided to leave the centre. As much as it had nurtured them, their lives had taken flight and it was now clearly time to leave the nest.

“Thereafter we then decided to get our own vehicle but that was a problem because we didn’t have funding. At that we were only getting an allowance. We went back to Bob and told him that if could give us half the money for a car we could come up with the other half and repay him within 14 months. We went through every scrap yard in Bulawayo looking for a car. When we got our car that’s when we started working on our own,” said Makurumidze.

Only a few years after they had been wandering the streets of Pumula, dazed and confused, two orphans had managed to bring a new company, Colfos, into the world. The world was at their feet and they were as hungry and as determined as ever to do big things.

“We did massive projects that hadn’t been done in Zimbabwe before. We worked with African Bush Camps and Zimbabwe National Parks. For ABC we installed a solar panel that was the biggest in Zimbabwe until this year. These were 268 solar panels which amounted 45 Kilo Watts. For National Parks we did solar boreholes. We powered up one school in Gweru and also did their computer lab,” said Makurumidze.

Still working with McGowan from time to time, the two now travel the length and breadth of Zimbabwe, assisting non-government organisations like World Vision as they attempt to bring light to remote parts of Zimbabwe that have never known electricity. They have also done the same to almost all the country’s most exotic tourism destinations.

Fairly successful and supporting families of their own, their lives now are now a far cry from what they used to be. Despite their present circumstances, they still remember vividly when they lived without direction as two orphans navigating life without a compass.

“I had a passion for art. We would make dolls and wire cars and I was so passionate about it. At the same time I loved anything related to electricity. I wanted to be an artisan in the army. That was my biggest dream,” said Makurumidze.

Dingani reminded his friend how they had actually almost both joined the defence forces. For the man who gave them their start in life, Dennis Gaboury, their success has not been a surprise.

“When we built the centre they were perfectionists. We had to tear down many a wall because they were not happy. If anyone was going to success it was going to be them,” he said.

Jeys Marabini

Bruce Ndlovu
ON Friday, Jeys Marabini launched his ninth album, solidifying his standing as one of the most accomplished and consistent musicians that Zimbabwe has produced.

It has been a long journey in the world of music for the lanky musicians, a journey filled with the highs and lows that one would expect from such a lengthy career.

It is a career that gave birth to nine albums and like a proud father Jeys has a story to tell about all his offspring. Sunday Life sat down with him and he spoke candidly about his family of albums.

Emarabini (2002)   
This is the album that propelled me to stardom. The album was called Emarabini and it was so popular that wherever I went people started calling me Marabini. Most people don’t know that my name was not Marabini initially. I used to call myself Jeys and Kozekulunge but because of the popularity of that album I got myself a stage name.

My music is not marabi. On that album I had made a song by that name about the flamboyant dressing that one would see in the 60s and 70s (emarabini). The video for that song won us many awards and that’s something that I’ve always been grateful for in my career.

Thuthuka Ngothando (2003)
Then came the album called Thuthukani Ngothando. It had songs like Kill and Go and Nkomo Zamalobolo. That album enabled people to see that I’m really an artiste committed to making original music and not another fly by night musician.

Sound of Today and Tomorrow (2004)
This is the album I made with the intention of highlighting the plight of women. At the time there were concerted efforts to make sure that the abuse of woman and girls was brought to light. It was a really hot topic and I wanted to add my voice.

Jeys Marabini One Time (2006)
This album has a special place in my heart because it’s where you find one of my most culturally relevant songs. The song titled Ezinangeni was all about encouraging Zimbabweans to keep and preserve their culture. I felt that we had lost our way and that album would help reassert our values. On that album I’m just tapping our people on the shoulder and reminding them of the customs and dances that they seem eager to abandon.

Izenzo (2009)
In the album called Izenzo I featured the late Nana Coyote formerly of Istimela. This was another collaboration that warmed my heart and whenever I play that album it reminds me of him. It takes me back to this one time when I was playing at Rainbow Hotel and the legend fell in love with my music. After I was done with my performance he came to me and said I should come and record with him in South Africa. He said my music was refined but I wouldn’t get recognition for it if I didn’t feature any big names. I was so proud to have one of the legends of African music featured on my album and compliment what I do.

Jeys @40 (2011)
Jeys at 40 was one of my most loved albums. If you look at a song like Yamitha Kanjani, it still gets requested a lot of years after it was released. If you listen to our radio stations like Skyz Metro you’ll get to understand the impact that song has even up to today. That album also came after a great tragedy for me. My parents died in an accident and it was a really challenging time for me personally. As an artiste you tell people about your pain through music and that’s why on that album you’ll find a song called Ukufa which was a dedication to my parents. I guess at that time my parents’ passing was God’s will but it was still painful nonetheless.

Isilo (2013)
This was an album that I dedicated to my uncle Mjajeli. I did this because I wanted to recognise his efforts in trying to bring our great and vast family together. He has always wanted us to be together as a family and from nieces to aunts and uncles, he always brings us together as one big family. That’s why I dedicated the title track to him because I recognise the role that he plays. He’s also someone that has helped me a lot in life. I’m where I am because of his help.

Thula Sana (2016)
Thula Sana was popular in its own right especially the song called Nkunzi Emnyama. That song found support with people because it’s very educational. That is something that you found a lot on that particular album.

Ntunja mbila (2018)
This album is my thank you note to the people. I’ve been in the music industry for 28 years and I’ve had my ups and downs.

I’m proud of the people that have stuck with me over the years and I’m also proud of the fact that they have given up on me.

The album was launched at a colourful ceremony in Bulawayo on Friday, where who is who in the entertainment industry came through to show support.

Rutendo Chidawanyika

IT’S easy to forget about our feet in the cold weather. When they’re covered up in socks and rarely exposed, who needs to worry about having pretty feet? But with sandal season at our doorstep, now is the time to start focusing on your feet.

The warm weather can be particularly detrimental to your feet. Which is why any summer foot care routine needs to start with foot health. Embarrassing issues such as foot odour and flaky skin can make you want to throw away the sandals and keep those heels firmly placed in your winter boots, despite the heat.

Yellowing nails
Showing off your pedicure in your open-toed sandals and summer heels is flattering . . . until you see discolouration. All nail polish oxidises, so the lighter the polish, the more it will yellow. It could also be a chemical reaction between sunscreen and the topcoat. To conceal potential yellowing, opt for brights over pastels and limit chlorine and sun exposure. Steer clear of press-on nails, gels, and “instant dry” formulas, as the faster the lacquer dries, the more it malnourishes the nail.

Cracks and fissures
When rough heels are left untreated, the skin will harden, grow thicker and eventually crack. You’ll immediately notice pain and some bleeding. Your first instinct might be to reach for a pumice stone or filer — don’t! Those devices easily house bacteria, and if you have cracks, they can cause infections.

Sunburn
When it comes to sunscreen application, the tops of the feet are one of the most commonly missed areas. It’s crucial to apply a good sunscreen with SPF 30 all over feet and toes. As for the soles, sunburns are rare since the skin is much thicker and denser, but they can still be exposed to burns, do wear protective shoes when it’s hot. Treat sunburn immediately with aloe vera and apply two or three times a day after.

Stinky feet
Where there’s sweat, there’s odour. The scent stems from bacteria breaking down the sweat, which tends to happen when feet are housed in less breathable socks and shoes. To prevent odour, prevent bacteria from breeding. This means keeping your feet dry at all times. Scrub — not soak — feet daily and dry thoroughly afterward, making sure to pat dry in between toes.

Blisters
Blisters can develop from serious sunburns, or more likely from shoe pains. Do not pop blisters. The best-case scenario is to let the blister heal on its own: Just dab antibiotic cream and cover with a band-aid. But if you can’t resist, pop it with a sterilised safety pin (heat the end) and drain the fluid. Do not remove the excess skin — it acts as a barrier to protect the fresh skin from infection. Dab antibiotic cream and cover it up.

Rough heels
The main issues with flaunting flat, open (albeit stylish) summer sandals are their lack of support and cushion. The result?

Hardened heels caked with layers of dead skin. To soften, zero in on the area with a heavy-duty moisturiser formulated with vitamins A and E, and urea.

Good pedicure
Pedicures can be a source of real problems. Everything from the tools to the relaxing whirlpool soak can transmit nail fungus, wart viruses and sometimes serious bacterial infections.

Since we’re constantly using our hands, it’s easy to remember to maintain our manicure — but we often forget about our feet.

If you’re not getting regular pedicures, make sure you keep your toenails trimmed and filed. If you’ve been neglecting your toes for a while then you may need to use a speciality nail care product to nourish the cuticle and boost nail strength.

Pedicures can be expensive, so if you’d prefer to splurge elsewhere you can follow these simple steps for your own DIY pedicure.

(1) Remove any traces of nail polish or nail treatments from your toenails; (2) Allow your feet to soak in a bowl of warm water for a few minutes, then exfoliate with a foot scrub; (3) Push your cuticles back with a cuticle stick; (4) Massage a foot cream into your feet, concentrating on dry areas; (5) Use a nail clipper to trim your toenails to your desired length; (6) File your toenails with a nail file; (7) Apply a base coat so that your pedicure lasts as long as possible; (8) Apply two thin coats of your favourite polish; (9) Finally, don’t forget to finish the pedicure with a top coat.

Make sure your feet are clean
You can’t really have beautiful feet if they’re dirty, so start out by taking a bath or a shower in which you pay extra special attention to cleaning your feet. Use a towel or a coarse loofah sponge to scrub away all of the dirt from the soles and toes, and use a nailbrush to remove particles, dirt and debris from underneath and around your toenails.

Moisturise
Frequently using a good quality cream or lotion is the number one way to prevent many foot ailments and create happy, beautiful feet. One way to maximise the effect of lotion or cream is to apply it right before bedtime and cover with cotton socks while sleeping. —Additional information from Online sources.

Email: rutendochidawanyika3@gmail.com

Bryce Chinembiri

Nigel Siziba, Sunday Life Reporter
TRUE friends are the ones who never leave your heart, even if they leave your life for a while. Even after years apart, you pick up with them right where you left off, and even if they die they are never dead in your heart. These words echo the story of Bryce Mayibongwe Chinembiri (18) also known as Bry Kuniva who penned a song for his late best friend who drowned during a school trip.

The hip-hop artiste said his song is dedicated to his late friend whom he started the journey of music with, who died in a very painful way.

“I wrote this emotional song for my late friend Melinkosi Tydd Mhlanga. He is the one who introduced me to the world of music. I can say he was an inspiration to me because he is the one who showed me the first studio and I would have loved to take this journey with him.”

He also said his track titled Good bye Tydd was dropped in August and it has received positive reception from his listeners.

“I dropped this track in August and it is titled Good bye Tydd and I featured a female artiste called Yemu and I can say that my song has seen positive results as it has received some airplay at Khulumani and Skyz-Metro,” he said.

The Cyrene boarding Advanced Level student said if people do love his music he will drop an album.

“Firstly, I want to start by building my name and if I am certain that people love my music I will release my first album and I want to thank my mother who has supported me all the way,” said Chinembiri.

The late Simba Mhere

Bruce Ndlovu
AFTER being slapped with a 10-year sentence for his role in the car accident that claimed the life of Zimbabwean television personality Simba Mhere, Preshalin Naidoo has still not given up the fight to evade punishment, as he has appealed the hefty sentence handed to him in June this year.

Naidoo’s sentencing brought to an end one of the longest running legal showbiz sagas, as he finally got punished for his actions on the night of 31 January in 2015, the fateful night that claimed the lives of Mhere and companion Kady-Shay Obrien on William Nicol Drive in Fourways, Johannesburg.

After a lengthy trial plagued by many delays, twists and turns, Naidoo was found guilty but immediately signalled his intention to reverse that decision. He recently followed up that threat with legal action, immediately putting back into the spotlight a case some, including Mhere’s family, hoped had been finally laid to rest.

With the appeal pending, Naidoo was however, denied bail. Judgment on Preshalin Naidoo’s bail application was delivered in the Johannesburg High Court by Acting Judge Sam Makamu. South Africa’s National Prosecuting Authority confirmed on Monday that Naidoo’s bail application had been denied.

In the past Naidoo has been accused of failing to show remorse for his role in an accident that claimed one of the most promising small screen talents in South Africa.

According to a report compiled by a social worker, “Naidoo still denies that he was negligent when the accident that claimed the lives of two people occurred.”

This was again raised by the mother of Kady-Shay Obrien who, like the Mhere family, bemoaned the fact that her family faced a less pleasant future because of the demise of her daughter.

“Her brother will never again see his sister and enjoy their close bond. My late daughter will never again be an aunt because of you. My life is shattered and a part of my soul is dead. You have refused to take responsibility for what you have done, you may be a man with age but not a true man. You’re a coward.”

MEN prefer side chicks who are curvy with long hair and nice eyes. Their personalities do not count, as long as the woman is fit and attractive.

This is according to research done by Victoria Milan, one of the world’s most discreet online platforms for those seeking extramarital adventures.

It conducted a survey in which it asked men from more than 20 countries on their preferred perfect mistress.
South Africa, the United States, Australia, Belgium, Mexico, Peru and Brazil were among the 22 countries polled.

“In total, we polled 4 803 participants. From those, 12 percent were using our site from South Africa, which means 576 men seek extramarital affairs in this region. Behind the UK, South Africa was one of the countries from where our users participated the most in this survey,” said CEO Sigurd Vedal.

Vedal said the last research done in 2015 showed a preference for slim girls.

He said this survey was repeated because physical stereotypes have since changed.

“Three years later, men’s physical preferences have changed: now 40,8 percent of the other 4 803 participants prefer curvaceous mistresses over 35,2 percent who keep choosing slim lovers.

“Despite the incessant portrayal of very slim women in popular media, it seems that men actually prefer a curvier woman  . . . ,” he said.

He believes that perceptions may have changed due to body positivity campaigns on social media platforms around the world.

“After so many years promoting a slim or skinny body culture, brands and society in general have realised that what really matters is to be fit and healthy. We’ve been seeing that from other surveys we’ve conducted, even users from our sugar daddy dating website, RichMeetBeautiful,” he said.

Interestingly, the importance of keeping fit has also increased considerably among men’s preferences. “Male stereotypes of women have evolved, it doesn’t matter anymore if they are curvy, slim or average size. We all like healthy and fit people when dating, especially if the aim of the date is to find an extramarital affair.

“In fact, participants tend to answer according to their fantasies,” he said. — www.sowetanlive.co.za