Hi Sis Noe
I THINK my boyfriend is ashamed to be with me. He always insists that we meet away from the public. — Confused.

Reply
If I was you I would ask myself why I am still with a man who is ashamed of me. If someone cannot accept you for who you are then they don’t belong in your life. If you want me, you need to want all of me.

Hi Sis Noe
Is it possible to get pregnant while breastfeeding? — Curious.

Reply
Yes, it is possible to get pregnant within a few months after having a baby — even if you are still lactating. You may have heard about something called lactation amenorrhoea, or the breastfeeding method, which is a birth control method frequently used by new mothers.

It works because breastfeeding causes a woman to stop ovulating and in turn, stop menstruating for about six months after giving birth. However, this contraception strategy only prevents pregnancy when under specific circumstances. This means that some new mums might still be at risk of pregnancy depending on their particular breastfeeding situation.

Hi Sis Noe
I am five months pregnant and still having sex with my husband. I want to know when I must stop. I don’t want to hurt my baby. — Curious.

Reply
Most women who are having a normal pregnancy can continue to have sex right up until their water breaks or they go into labour. You won’t hurt the baby by making love. The amniotic sac and the strong muscles of the uterus protect your baby, and the thick mucus plug that seals the cervix helps guard against infection. And while orgasm may cause mild uterine contractions (as can nipple stimulation and the prostaglandins in semen); they are generally temporary and harmless.

There are many reasons why sex during pregnancy can be more enjoyable, even if you are doing it less. There is an increase in vaginal lubrication, the engorgement of the genital area helps some people become orgasmic for the first time or multi-orgasmic, the lack of birth control, or if you have been trying for a while, a return to pleasurable sex as opposed to procreational.

Hi Sis Noe
I am a 30-year-old father of one. I am failing to have sex with my wife because she has vestibulitis. Since the birth of our first child last year, her condition has worsened and she has lost all interest in having sex and does not want to be treated. — Worried.

Reply
Encourage your wife to persevere in seeking appropriate treatment, so she can enjoy intercourse again, and try to pleasure each other in other ways. Bear in mind she may also have lowered desire post-partum, which is very common.

I am not surprised she is giving up, because sufferers of vestibulitis, or any kind of vulva disease, can experience severe pain during intercourse, spasms, urethral irritation, constipation, incontinence or diarrhoea, and very often the entire pelvic region is affected.

Many women suffer from this condition, which requires understanding, a correct diagnosis and satisfactory treatment. Look for a doctor with the expertise and patience your wife needs. Have sex therapy together — you both deserve the right help.

Hi Sis Noe
I am 19 and he is 26. My problem is that when I have sex with my boyfriend I start bleeding for some days. Please help me, I am worried. — Worried.

Reply
If you bleed after sex and you are not on your period see a doctor. If you have abnormal bleeding or spotting between periods then that could be a symptom of an STI and needs to be looked at. Although it is scary to think about, ignoring the problem could make things a lot worse. Bleeding after sex with your partner could be caused by a number of reasons ranging from a side effect of the contraception pill if you are on one to a naturally virus known as HPV which causes cervical cancer. Any abnormal bleeding must be looked at. See a doctor.

Hi Sis Noe
I have just been married but my sex life is not good. My husband comes quickly and leaves me unsatisfied. How can I improve our sex life? — Unsatisfied.

Reply
Practice makes perfect so the more you keep trying the better things are bound to fit into place. Whatever you do though do not say to your husband that he is not very good or that it is his fault. Nothing kills passion better than a bruised male ego. Try a few gentle hints and directions to what you like and things are bound to start clicking.

Hi Sis Noe
I am sleeping with a workmate who is a player who has had sex with a number of girls at work. I know he doesn’t love me but I cannot help it, the sex is good. I am beginning to fall in love with him. Do you think things will work out for me? — Uncertain.

Reply
You will probably be a statistic on his scoreboard when he tires of you. You said it yourself — he is a player and sleeps around. He doesn’t love you, you are just a sex object and as soon as he discovers a new sex toy you will be history. If you are looking for a relationship, from what you have told me it looks like you have picked the wrong man. You say he sleeps around and is a player, why would you want to be with someone like that? Stop sleeping with him before you get more involved and end up being hurt. Find a man who wants more than just sex.

Phinias Gomba

Bruce Ndlovu
PHINIAS GOMBA hates the sport of soccer. FOR the first 20 years of his life, he had loved it like most young men in soccer mad Zimbabwe. This all changed one night after another heavyweight bout between bitter rivals Highlanders and Dynamos.

At the time, Gomba, who had come to Bulawayo seeking employment, was now the proud owner of a small fleet of pushcarts or scanias as they’re popularly known. Unlike some who went home after a hard day’s work at the city’s fruit and vegetable markets, Gomba slept with one eye open every night, resting beneath his pushcarts that he always gathered into a neat circle.

On one fateful Sunday, he was awakened by a bloody battle between Bosso and DeMbare fans who had decided to settle issues with their fists after finding the result on the field of play not conclusive enough.

“I loved soccer when I was looking for work. I hate it now. When I was living in the bush, acting as a security guard of my own pushcarts I would park them in a circle and sleep in the middle. I was doing this for three years. One day Highlanders and Dynamos had a match and people were beating each other up after a match. The violence was terrifying. The people fighting had no idea I was sleeping right there in the middle,” he told Sunday Life in an interview.

The soccer fans had no idea there was a proverbial fly on the wall as they exchanged bruising blows that night and for Gomba, as traumatic as that experience was, it was just another example of how hard life could be on the streets. Born in Gutu, Masvingo, the man whose surname has become synonymous with pushcarts in the city had come to Bulawayo seeking employment. The realities of life in the Esap era in Zimbabwe awaited him when he arrived in the City of Kings.

“I came to Bulawayo in 1992. I was looking for work but at that time there was no work. I came from Gutu in Masvingo and I was staying with relatives. I would go to Vundu to find work but I couldn’t get any. I was a tout. I couldn’t survive in that trade because it requires a stubbornness that I just didn’t have. I was weak. Being a tout requires one to be thief-like. That’s why I stopped. I wanted a quiet environment,” he said.

As he wandered the streets of Bulawayo he noticed that one place in particular seemed to be a hive of activity in the city.

“I used to wake up very early in the morning and from doing that I found myself frequenting the market. I noticed that the market is a busy place. There’s always something to do. I felt like this could be a place where I could thrive.

“I noticed that people were using pushcarts. At the time they used wheelbarrow tyres on them. This was the era before they started using car tyres. They were already companies like Shungu and Twalumba which were offering push carts for hire. So I hired one myself,” he said.

Unknown to him at the time, Gomba had just identified something that would be his ticket out of grinding poverty.

“I would wake up very early. When I would count my money at the end of the day I would realise that this is something that I needed to take seriously. I ended up deciding to start my own fleet of pushcarts from the profits I was making. I ended up with six pushcarts. So the boys that were hiring from me were using those six and I was pushing the seventh one,” he said.

Old habits die hard and despite his improving fortunes, Gomba still continued operating his own pushcart as his fleet grew larger.

“I did this until I had as many as 75 pushcarts. Even then I had not stopped pushing my own pushcart. So I was an owner yet I was still on the road everyday with the boys that were hiring from me. I only stopped when I had over 80 pushcarts,” he said.

As a street hustler who had lifted himself up by his own bootstraps, Gomba did not believe in modern concepts of finance like banking. In fact, something as essential as bathing became alien to him as he woke up every morning with dollar signs in his eyes.

“In all that time I had the money with me in the streets. It stayed in my pocket. I wasn’t even bathing. That’s why people in the markets called us vagabonds. We just woke up and started working. I would go for three days without bathing but whenever I felt the need I would go to my brother’s place and bath. This continued until in 1997 when I bought my first car,” he said.

The turn of the century saw the start of the painful and slow decline of Bulawayo’s industry. Many wept as jobs got lost but Gomba saw an opportunity to expand his business. Like a shark smelling blood in water, he could see that the city’s dying industries could give new life to his own enterprise.

“That’s around the time that I started renting in garages. I would build my fleet from these places. For example, I would make a fleet of 20 pushcarts. All of them would be identical. There was a time that I made a fleet of 100 identical pushcarts at one go. I employed seven experienced welders. They would all have assistants. That’s the time that we learnt how to make scorch carts,” he said.

With a rapidly expanding fleet, Gomba knew that at some point he had to leave the streets. Eight years after he came to Bulawayo, he finally got a place he could call his own after going through the classifieds on a local daily.

“My business was booming when I got my car. I was still staying on the streets and I would go home once a week. After a while I thought it was not good for me to keep carrying my money in my pocket so I saw that there was a house available in Makokoba. I bought it for $75 000 around the year 2000,” he said.

As he brought a house at the turn of the century, Gomba also welcomed his first born son. His family was expanding as was his business and so Gomba finally had to look elsewhere for business opportunities.

“When I got married me and my wife went into the grinding mill business. We noticed that it was making a lot of money. A grinding mill is made of metal so I saw that I could make our own. Companies were closing at the time so we would get a lot of people who can make scorch carts coming to me for work,” he said.

After making over 600 pushcarts and countless grinding mills, Gomba’s life is a far cry from the one he led when he was the silent witness to a brawl between Highlanders and Dynamos fans. Despite his success, he has not abandoned his first love – the pushcart.

“My own brothers came and I put them through school. They passed, went to Polytechnic College and started their own bus business after school. I’m still here, doing what they found me doing,” he said.

The man who was a devout Catholic once upon a time acknowledges that the business has its fair share of problems.

“Some of the boys steal and when they get caught they run away and leave their pushcarts. The carts are in my name so the police always come to me. There’s no way you can be in this business and not come in contact with police.

“I’m Catholic and that is what prevented me from turning into a criminal. I can’t steal. After all that I can’t even go to church anymore because this business forces you to week every day. You’ve got no time for anything else,” said Gomba.

His proudest achievement however, remains his impact on the community. He has helped transformed lives for many, and helped many families put food on their table and send children to school. At some point, he was hiring out his scanias for as little as a dollar per day.

“Some of the boys that were using my scanias are driving buses yet they started from these pushcarts. Some put themselves through school,” he said.

Thirsty throats

Bruce Ndlovu
WHEN one travels to a city that they do not consider home, they might find themselves worrying about where they are going to sleep when night falls.

Other than where they will lay their heads, some worry about what food they will put in their stomachs before they call it a night.

After all, many are quite picky about what they consume and the alien culinary tastes of a strange city might be too much to stomach for some.

Imbibers however, face a different dilemma. Not only do they have to worry about the quality of the alcohol they consume, they also have to be satisfied about the surroundings in which they consume the wise waters.

There’s a reason why imbibers choose to be patrons of certain bars and not of others. There’s a bar for every drinker and so in a strange place one can find themselves stranded with only their alcohol for company.

A new pub in Bulawayo has seen this dilemma and decided to make the decision of its imbibers easier. Located at the Standard Hotel, Thirsty Throats is the latest drinking hole to try and bring a touch of class and elegance to late night drinking in the City of Kings.

After watching its guests struggle to find drinking spots after settling down for their stay at the hotel, they spared no expense in constructing a nightspot that they felt was perfectly tailored to the needs of those that usually chose the hotel as their home away from home.

“Our clients always struggled to find the right places to drink after they had settled down here so we thought it would be a good idea to have a bar within the hotel,” said Jacqueline Ndlovu, the hotel’s administrative manager.

“It took us a year to build because we had to import a lot of furniture but when we opened doors in July it lifted the mood of many. From the feedback that we’re getting people are very satisfied with what we have done so far. You’d get a call from someone saying that they left their phone at the place and they got as far as Harare and they found it was safe with us. That’s what we do here. We make our people feel safe,” she said.

According to Ndlovu, although the pub’s main clientele came from hotel guests, they had begun to attract a lot of walk-in clients as well.

“We’ve been getting a lot of walk-in clients which has been encouraging. This shows that the place’s popularity is increasing and we appeal to people who we had initially not thought would be interested. Our policy says that we close at 10pm but people can continue drinking if they are already inside when it gets to that time of night,” she said.

With a restaurant serving dishes made by some food from some of the finest chefs in the City of Kings, Ndlovu said they believed they had a formula that was sure to entice both imbibers and food lovers.

However, a bar is not complete without music and Ndlovu said they believed they had a selection that was bound to satisfy the weary traveller eager for a drink after a long day.

“We play light music because that’s what we believe goes with the mood of the place. We’re also looking to invite some jazz players in the near future,” she said.

Nhlalwenhle Ncube

DO not play with someone’s heart if you have no intentions of a serious relationship!

There are many things to play with in life, but a person’s feelings is not one of them. It is sad that there are some people who include dating in their hobby list. This is witchcraft because you will be in the business of breaking people’s hearts.

It is so frustrating and painful to be misled especially when it comes to the matters of the heart. Of course most people do not like love, they like flattery and flirty feeling. This is misleading and is the reason for heartbreaks, though later justified by the saying ‘‘Love is blind’’.

The truth is that real love is not about you, not about your happiness, pleasure and self-gratification. That is not love. Love is not about having someone there to make you feel good and make you happy. That is enjoyment, that is affection. That is you loving yourself, loving what someone does for you, but that is not you loving someone else. That is not the purpose of love.

No, the purpose of love is itself: the act of loving, the art of loving, to learn to love more. To love better. To fail and try again, over and over, because that is the whole damn point. Because what else is there in life but love? Love is choosing somebody, choosing something and choosing them over everything else, over your ego, over yourself, unfailingly, every day.

After mentioning all this, you still find some people choosing dating as a hobby. One should know his or her true purpose in dating. Are you in it for fun or you really want to find a long term relationship? Or do you just like the fun and excitement of dating? Is dating your hobby?

If you think dating as a hobby is fun, you are lost and it will never be. The bad thing is that it is an addictive drug, if you start the game it becomes difficult to stop it.

When you get into a relationship with someone, you will always find reasons to dump them and being in and out of love becomes your hobby. So your unconscious will never let you find someone you like! There will always be a reason this person isn’t the “one”. Or you’ll intentionally sabotage any budding relationship so you can get back to your favourite pasttime: dating! You will not be able to settle for one person.

Another purpose for dating that really isn’t about finding a partner is about winning approval and getting validation that you are good enough (attractive enough, lovable enough, interesting enough).

Think about this: when you go on a first date, are you paying more attention to whether or not the other person likes you or paying attention to how you feel about him/ her? If the purpose of dating is for you to “win” people over and gain approval, it’s not likely to lead to a real relationship.

So even if you do find out this person likes you and wants to see you again, at some point, you are going to need them or someone else to keep filling this void, proving your worth, and this will certainly get in the way of developing a close relationship. Going on a date to win approval is all ego. And the ego gets in the way of everything good!

Imagine that someone in this world loves you more than any song and phrase can express. You are the first thing on his mind every morning and the last thing on his mind every night. He worships you.

You are literally his drug. And he tells you all the time, “I love you so much.”  And you can feel it in his presence. You can see it in the way he looks at you and the way he bares his soul.

In the way that he has made himself a better person, for you. The only problem is you don’t love him back. Maybe you did at one time and have fallen out of love. Maybe you never loved him at all. Maybe you do love him, but just because it is one of your hobbies you will not want to be with him longer. All you have to do is break his heart and leave him nursing wounds.

Really, how do you live with yourself, knowing that you have literally crushed the soul of another? How do you sleep knowing that you may have scarred someone for life and may never be able to love someone else, because of you? The dating hobby is not fun, play with other things not hearts!

WhatsApp your comments to 0712978471.

Nobuntu

Bruce Ndlovu
AFTER setting the pace as one of the city’s finest imbube groups, all women ensemble, Nobuntu, want to once again raise the stakes with an album that will see the group return to imbube in its purest form.

The group has in the past earned plaudits for its music, emerging as one of Zimbabwe’s most travelled groups as they go around the globe preaching the imbube gospel.

However, as good as the group’s first two albums, Thina and Ekhaya released in 2013 and 2015 respectively, the group believes that 2018 is the year in which they will finally deliver the imbube album that lovers of the genre have been yearning to hear.

Titled Obabes Bembube, the album title is a colloquial for “women of acapella” and the group said the music that it contained would “represent a bold shift from the previous bodies of work which featured a fusion of afro jazz, acappella, gospel and traditional folk tracks. Obabes Bembube asserts Nobuntu’s position as a musical force in Imbube (acapella), a genre that was traditionally male domain.”

This is a view that group members stood behind in a video released by 10th District Music, their managing stable.

“We’ve been called obabes bembube and so we thought why not honour that and really do a typical imbube album,” said Zanele Manhenga.

With their third album on the horizon, the group still prides itself in breaking down gender barriers.

“Imbube was usually done by men and the fact that we are doing imbube as women is exciting and I love the songs because they relate to me,” said Joyline Sibanda.

With their latest album, group member Thandeka Moyo said that they aimed to uplift their listeners with tunes that were written with the intention of touching lives.

“What I can say about this album is that it’s very uplifting. It’s very spiritual and the songs that are there talk to the soul. They really appeal to that human spiritual side of people and we’re hoping that people feel what we felt when we were writing the songs,” she said.

Joyline Sibanda meanwhile, emphasised that the group would this time make a purely imbube album.

“Through the years we’ve been doing mixed genres, doing imbube and some other songs that are not really imbube but this time we’re doing imbube as it is.” she said.

The eclectic mix that characterised their first two albums would be abandoned, said Heather Dube.

“The past two albums that we did had a mixture of imbube, gospel acapella and we had to put some instruments on some of the songs,” she said.

However, coming up with the project had not been easy, as they had to put their heads together and come out with a vision that they thought would deliver the right quality of music.

“We really had to sit down and deliberate and say this song you’ve brought it but it has to come out as an imbube song. Then we started reshuffling melodies and even words around,” said Zanela Manhenga.

Oliver Mtukudzi

Bruce Ndlovu, Sunday Life Correspondent
WHILE around the globe many look at him as a source of awe and inspiration, Oliver Mtukudzi says he was not always looked at in glorious light, as even his own parents did not support his career path when he took his initial baby steps towards international superstardom.

In the past Tuku, who still regards his parents as his greatest inspiration in music, has alluded to the fact that he was born in a musical family with parents who met during a choir competition.

The two would go on to hold face-offs at home, competing against each other as Tuku and siblings watched. In fact, one of Tuku’s childhood regrets was his failure to watch his father live in action, as he was not allowed into the beer halls where his old man performed.

Even though he was a seed that sprouted from such a rich musical tree, the man who says he first performed for his parents at the ripe young age of 10 did not have their blessings when he first made the plunge and decided that music would be his career of choice.

“They didn’t support me in who I am. They loved me so much that they wanted the best for me. But what’s the best?” he said.

The man who got awarded an honorary doctorate by The International Institute of Philanthropy (IIP), said that his parents had initially wanted him to put away the guitar and instead excel somewhere in higher education. To their disappointment, Tuku’s itch to become a musician could only be scratched by setting foot on stage.

“They wanted me to become an academic genius. They wanted me to go to university and become either a lawyer or a doctor.

They didn’t care what, as long as I was doing something (academically),” he said.

Tuku, who confessed that he used to go barefoot to school, said that his parents expected a life of poverty for him if he chose a career in music. After all, they had barely made a cent when they were performing artistes themselves.

“They didn’t make money out of it. So he loved me so much that he didn’t want me to follow his footsteps. This was because there was no money in it. So I was kind of in a difficult situation than any other artiste because they knew exactly what I was getting myself into,” he said.

According to Tuku, his father had seen the hardships that await a music performer when he was traveling the nightspots and beer halls of Bulawayo, where he usually played with groups such the Cool Fours.

“My father was a musician. He used to come here and perform with the Cool Fours. Initially they were called the Cool Fours and then they joined up with the Crooners and became the Cool Crooners. My father used to come here (Bulawayo) and play alongside Safirio Madzikatire. He never thought he could have a son who could be doing the same thing,” he said.

The Mtukudzis’ romance would not end with veteran musician’s father. Years later, Tuku would make the trek to the home of Bulawayo arts, Amakhosi. There at the centre that was still under Cont Mhlanga’s astute leadership, he got the idea to start a similar centre of his own in Norton.

The centre would give Tuku a chance to atone for his parents’ own lack of support, as he could now take under his wing young artistes that had been given the cold shoulder by parents who did not approve of their chosen careers.

“Pakare Paye came about when we were trying to solve a problem that we’ve always had as artistes. This is a problem of attitude, especially from our own parents. They don’t believe in who we are. They want us to be who they want us to be,” he said.

Staying true to one’s identity, something that benefited him immensely in his own career, remained Tuku’s main focus.

“So they ignore who we are. So at Pakare Paye all I offer young talent is appreciation because they don’t get that appreciation at home. So at least there’s a place where they can showcase whatever they want to do and get appreciated.

Cont Mhlanga

Bruce Ndlovu
Every conversation about the arts in Bulawayo has to begin with a mention of Amakhosi Cultural Centre.

Located at Basch Street extension and Old Falls Road, the centre has proved to be a unique nursery to some of the city’s best talents in the arts. From rib cracking comedians to expressive actors and expert song composers, the centre has nurtured them ALL.

The names that have walked the halls and stomped the stages of the centre read like a who’s who list of the best on the country arts scene.

However, narrowing down the best five to have come from Amakhosi would be a task that no critic would ever think of taking on. Quite simply, the names that have come from Amakhosi are simply too heavy to carry. Sunday Life caught up with the founder of the centre, Cont Mhlanga, who relieved us of the burden and gave his top five list of those that he had the pleasure of working with at Amakhosi.

Sihlangu Dlodlo
This is someone who I first met when he was no more than a boy just wearing boxers. I have been privileged to witness his growth from that time to now. This was someone I first saw reciting poems at school.

With time he became what I like to call my school of knowledge. Sihlangu was that person who you could give knowledge to and he would implement that knowledge like no one else would.

When you talk of Cont Mhlanga you’re talking about the pioneers of the arts in Bulawayo. You’re talking about the people who came when there was no road and laid a brand new one. People did not understand what an artiste was before we started defining it.

So someone like me needed to be working with believers, strong apostles that believed in the vision that we had. That’s the difference between Dlodlo and everyone else. He came when Cont Mhlanga didn’t exist. There are some young people who haven’t known a Zimbabwe and Bulawayo without Amakhosi. Dlodlo bought into the idea in its early days, the karate days.

He was very specific about what he wanted. He wanted to get the name of the centre out there. He wanted Amakhosi known by the city and the country. So he broke new ground because he pioneered marketing as a discipline in the arts.

Even after he left to do other things he kept on planting the Amakhosi flag everywhere he went. For him it was not about money but making a city rise.   Unlike other artistes he was not single focused. Some just stick to acting or singing or dancing through their whole career. He saw that there were many fields in the creative industries and went into most of them.

Mackay Tickeys
This was a guy who wanted to stand on one leg throughout his life. He believed that he was an actor through and through.

He was someone that mobilised people, which is something that I believe that the sector is lacking currently. We could land in any part of the world and he would ask, “Cont, who do you want us to see?” It didn’t matter if it was a big star, the mayor or the biggest businessman in that city but he would just somehow get into their office and get you what you wanted.

I remember when we did the Workshop Negatives tour around the country and we did not spend a cent. You’d just work up the next morning and find that Mackay had somehow managed to get the mayor of that city to cover your hotel bill.

He didn’t just want to act opposite everyone. He was choosy about who starred opposite him. He would pass over a role if he felt that he wasn’t compatible with the person that he was playing opposite to. Or he could tell me that I won’t work with this director because he’s just too young for me in terms of experience in the trade.

He also hated television. He felt a lot of people in television were junk quality producers. That’s one thing about him — he hated pretenders in the arts and he would tell you to your face if he felt that you were. He was just an amazing professional.

Davis Guzha
This is someone who is not Amakhosi per se. He was just someone who decided that he was going to work with Amakhosi even though he was not from here. He came to me and said your job as Cont is to identify the best talent from Bulawayo, groom it and my job is to take it to the rest of the world.

That’s how we managed to get Amakhosi’s work known in Zimbabwe and even beyond. Guzha remains the only superstar director in Zimbabwe I believe. He is just a superb guy to work with and a lot of people don’t realise that he is also a superb actor.

Beater Mangethe
Beater was just amazing. She was someone who I would call a top shelf taker of instructions. She would take instructions and she was brave enough to follow them through.

Those that have worked closely with me will tell you that I’m not a pleasant person to work with. I can be brutally honest and I was that way with Beater. I told her that she can’t sing on her own because of her vocal range and she needed a band. Some might have been offended. I remembered her asking me how she was going to manage a band because she was so small and men would find it hard to listen to her.

I told her that she needed to find a way to make it work and the next thing you know she had a band. It’s nice to see a young lady with no confidence yet is brave enough to go on and do what needs to be done because she’s brave. The biggest disaster in the world of showbiz is that many young women have no confidence and yet are also not brave. That’s a tragedy that Beater never had to grapple with.

Thembi Ngwabi
This is someone that I always find difficult to talk about because this person is also my wife. This is someone who went through an enormous transition. She is someone from a church background who became an amazing actress, became a dancer touring the world, turned into a singer and then became a rain dancer. How do you manage that as one person? This is someone who I not only admire but someone who won my heart.

When you look at her now in traditional clothing in Njelele you can only marvel at the transitions that she has gone through in her career. This was someone who was creatively aggressive which inspired me a lot throughout my career.

Samantha Rejoice Mazibuko

Nigel Siziba, Sunday Life Reporter
Being a queen is not all about singing, and being a diva is not all about singing. It has much to do with your service to people and your social contributions to your community.

Talking of queens, meet the queen of Gqom music, one of the fast rising genres imported from South Africa, Samantha Rejoice Mazibuko (26) popularly known by her stage name Naughty Queen who recently released a controversial song titled Istabani.

Mazibuko kick started her career last year and she has never looked back since then.

“I started my music career last year and since then I have been making positive                                                                               strides in pushing my career to the next level,” she said.

In an interview with Sunday Life, she said even though she embarked the train of music late, she has always been in love with art since childhood.

“I can say that I fell in love with music at a very tender age as I sometimes ran away from school to watch Iyasa perform, the  other thing I think art is running in my family’s blood because my mother is a music promoter and my uncle is Albert Nyathi, who has thrived in the world of arts,” said Naughty Queen.

She also said she was happy that his songs have received significant airplay in local radios.  Naughty Queen believes that she has no competition locally, thus she is the Queen of Gqom.

“I think locally I have no competition as of yet and I think I would be forgiven if I say I am the queen of Gqom and in five years time I see myself as a big artiste reaching out to the less privileged communities as well,” she exclaimed.

Bruce Ndlovu
DSTV workers in Zimbabwe might be casualties of Multichoice’s ongoing battle with streaming services as it has emerged that the company might be laying off some workers as it seeks to position itself to compete with new kids on the block like Netflix.  

According to South Africa’s Sunday Times, Multichoice has asked a large number of its employees across the continent to reapply for jobs as it attempts to create a “leaner business.”

Multichoice employs about 7 000 people across the continent and at least 200 of those are expected to lose employment as the broadcast giant realigns its staff with its new objectives.

“We’re creating a leaner and more agile organisation in order to remain globally competitive,” a Multichoice spokesperson reportedly told the Sunday Times. “We’re looking at different ways to transform our business into a more agile and digitally focused company.”

Despite years of dominance, Multichoice has been in a battle of survival over the last few years, as the entrance of Netflix and other new streaming services begin to eat into its subscriber base.

Although DStv has registered a growth in terms of subscriber numbers, most of the new subscribers have been flocking to its cheaper bouquet options, with many shunning the premium packages.

This has meant that the subscription service now finds itself playing largely on the same field with the likes of Netflix who pride themselves for their cheaper packages which give viewers more freedom and choice on what they want to watch.

In Zimbabwe, Kwese’s iFlix has a package that costs as low as $10 per. In August, it announced that it has as much as 1,2 million subscribers in the country.

“What the growth masks, although Multichoice hasn’t tried to hide it, is the beginning of the decline in the premium packages and that is the writing on the wall for traditional Pay TV,” said World Wide Worx MD Arthur Goldstruck.

Rutendo Chidawanyika

REGARDLESS of your age, sex and occupation, there are certain cases and circumstances where you should consider carefully the choice of the colours you wear. This is especially important when you opt for the bright and bold colour red.

Knowing what wearing red means is a life-hack that will help you to dress up appropriately for every occasion and to avoid confusing situations of being overdressed. Remember, a red lace dress or a red lipstick is not always a perfect choice.

It has been proven that a woman wearing red is assessed as more attractive and sexual by males rather than wearing other colours. Red is a colour of energy and power, it works perfectly for job attires highlighting the leadership and enthusiasm. But on the other side, red is a colour of passion and danger, so that the extensive use of it may cause people to understand you wrongly.

Red Platform shoes

Fashion designer Bill Blass has been known to say, “Whenever in doubt, wear red.” And we’ll admit, there really is nothing like a red dress (or red shoes or a red lipstick) to make one feel just a little bit sexier. Red has long been associated with love and passion. Red means fire. Red means blood. Red means heart. Red means love, when we get passionate, we get hot, so we think of red. And when you wear red, the colour can affect the way people perceive you. If you want to be perceived as sexy, red is the colour to wear.

Effects of wearing the red colour
Stimulating: to the physical senses — the sexual and physical appetite. It stimulates the deeper passions within us, such as sex, love, courage, hatred or revenge. If you have a flagging sex life and would like to introduce more passion into it, introduce some red into the bedroom — the more red, the more passion, but don’t overdo it or it will have the opposite effect.

Exciting and Motivating: it excites our emotions and inspires us to take action.

Attention-getting: it demands you to take notice, alerting you to danger. This is why we have red traffic lights and stop signs — it is the universal colour for danger.

Assertive and Aggressive: drivers of red cars should take note! A small survey done a few years ago showed that drivers of red cars, including females, said they felt quite aggressive behind the wheel of their red car.

Places where NOT to wear RED

Funeral
The overall opinion and tradition is that bright colours and especially red are disrespectful at a funeral. It is not a strict rule to wear all-in-black ensemble at a funeral, you can also dress into grey, dark blue, dark brown and these types of shades.

Wedding ceremony and party
You should have heard that white is a “no-no colour” for a wedding ceremony unless you are a bride. But what about red? It is still a debatable question, but I would suggest to avoid wearing red. If it is too bright and bold, such as scarlet red, you could attract too much attention and make the bride feel uncomfortable. Check the theme of the wedding, if it is all in pastel colours, far from the red shades, better choose smooth colours.

Examinations / debates
Some surveys have shown that red in competition situations, such as examinations or sport events leads to worse performance. It all depends on who is assessing you: if it is a woman, your red outfit can cause a rivalry effect by the examiner, if it is a male, the exam results might be higher. (lol, maybe)

Job Interview
Job interview is the second step towards getting a job offer. It is a chance to introduce yourself personally to your potential employer, and so the way you look plays a crucial role in this stage. If you outfit for a job interview is all-in-red, you may look very provoking for male interviewers and rivalry for females. So, say no to a red dress and a red lipstick for a job interview.

Meeting partner’s parents
When meeting your boyfriend’s or partner’s parents, the rule of thumb is to dress conservatively. And it does not really apply only to the first meeting. Very eye-catching clothing, such as red dresses, mini skirts, and open shoulders are not the perfect choice. Better opt for classic dresses with bright accessories.

So, dear ladies, red is a powerful colour and we should use its energy to send messages to the people surrounding us. But to make the messages clear and to avoid misinterpretation, red should be worn tactically and not everywhere. And while wearing red, you should express a good taste and sense of style, not to look very vulgar or aggressive. Remember that red is already a statement, so the rest of the outfit should be a complementary to that. Work on developing your personal style and if you do love red so much, make it your signature staple. — Additional information from Online sources.

Email: rutendochidawanyika3@gmail.com

Hi Sis Noe
MY girlfriend asked me if it was ok for her to have sex with other men. When she realised that I was angry she said she was joking but I think she was not, because she said I was free to do the same.

We love watching porn and I think she got the idea from the videos of orgies and swing that we love to watch. While I like fantasising about the idea of having sex with other women I do not want to make that a reality. I am the only man to have ever had sex with her — she was a virgin when we met and all the sex she now knows she was taught by me. — Help.

Reply
By beholding we are changed — you got yourself a virgin and an innocent woman and you have changed her into what she is now. So in a way you are also to blame for her desires, however, she is an adult at the end of the day and she decides what is right and what is wrong.

Most men and women would be pretty devastated if the person they love suggested having sex with someone else. Also what might start off as nothing but a bit of fun could develop into something more serious and if either of you slept with other people — one of you might fall in love with someone else. It could also be difficult when you are making love to each other not to think about them having sex with someone else and wondering if you are as good a lover as they are.

Tell your girlfriend how much you love her and that, for you, making love is something special between the two of you and you would be devastated if she had sex with other men. And stop watching porn — it is ruining your relationship.

Hi Sis Noe
My boyfriend is 36 and I am 20. He is worried about the age gap, as a result he has not told his family about me. We go out but he avoids his friends. The sex is great but he is not comfortable showing affection for me in public. — Worried.

Reply
If you are just a woman he wants to have sex with then this is not the relationship for you. The age gap is nothing to be worried about.

You are 20 you are a grown-up woman. If he is not special to you let this relationship go. But if he is important then explain to him that you still want to be with him, but you don’t want to continue a sexual relationship unless he treats you as a proper girlfriend and introduces you to family and friends. He should also want to take you out with friends and relatives and to be affectionate in public.

Hi Sis Noe
My husband cheated on me years ago and he did not even apologise. Now I am worried that he will cheat again as he is now chatting with an old friend of his. They talk every day and he spends a lot of time with her. Recently she called when he was bathing and I answered his phone and she said he had told her that we are separated. — Worried.

Reply
Your husband has already been unfaithful and did not even apologise. Now he is flirting with another woman and has lied to her about the state of your marriage, which suggests he is on the way to having another affair. The majority of men who have serial affairs don’t want to leave their marriage, especially if they still have feelings for their wife and there are children involved.

What they enjoy are all the benefits of marriage and family life, with some extra excitement on the side. The mistress often falls in love and thinks the man is going to leave his wife for her. If discovered, the man usually ends the affair but then when things are back to normal in the marriage, he often embarks on another.

So even though you love him do you think you could really stay married if this was the situation? He may be kind in many ways, but this aspect of him is not kind at all. Talk to him and find a solution, even if it means going for couple’s counselling.

Hi Sis Noe
I have been married for 10 years. I do everything for my wife but she does not return the love I give her. She does not want to have children. We hardly have sex and when we do she just lies on her back and tells me to hurry up. I have used my connections to get her jobs but she quits all the time. — Help.

Reply
Sadly, I think that you need to think about leaving your marriage. You have tried so hard for so long, but staying is making you desperately unhappy. I’m afraid your wife sounds selfish — to not want children and to choose not to work as well sounds as though she has perhaps been using you.

You still have time to meet someone with whom you could have a loving, affectionate, emotional and physical relationship. Try not to hold on to the resentment, though.

This tends to only make people depressed. I am sorry that you have not had children. However, many childless people picture family life like it is in the adverts: yes, it can be wonderful; but it can also be painful. We never know what is around the corner or how life might have worked out if we had made different choices. We have to draw a line under what has gone before and try to move forward. Find someone who will appreciate you and all you have to offer.

Hi Sis Noe
I recently met my ex and we had sex even though he told me that he now has a girlfriend. The sex was great but he told me point blank that he cannot leave his girlfriend. We talk and flirt every day and I think I am falling back in love with him. I want him for me. What must I do? — Confused.

Reply
The flirting will lead to more sex with him and your hopes will be raised that you will get back together but then dashed when he returns to his girlfriend and you will feel heartbroken once more. He is clearly still attracted to you, but he has not said he is in love with you, or that he will leave his girlfriend. In fact, as he is being unfaithful to her, his relationship with her might not last, or she will discover his betrayal and break up with him. But that does not mean he will come back to you. Ask him if he still loves you and if the answer is no, please be brave enough to walk away and cut off contact with him, otherwise, you will only end up miserable and heart broken.

Orobosa Ekhaguere as shown on social media

Peter Matika, Senior Reporter
A NUMBER of Zimbabweans may have fallen victim to a Facebook scam, where a suspected Nigerian scammer has been impersonating Prophetic Healing and Deliverance Ministries founder Prophet Walter Magaya.

Through the Facebook account, the alleged impersonator reportedly converses with people, who add him as friends on the platform, seeking deliverance and healing.

He then requests people to “seed” money to him to experience divine healing and deliverance.

Among one of his victims is Bulawayo socialite Terminator Makoni, who said he was asked to send money via Western Union or Money Gram to one Orobosa Ekhaguere in Nigeria, before giving him a bank account.

Makoni said he sent a friend request to the Facebook account, with the belief it was prophet Magaya and was astonished and elated when he got a response.

“I sent a request to the account thinking it was the prophet. He gave me a false prophecy, where he told me that I had enemies, who intended to end my life by causing me to be involved in an accident.

“He then instructed me to read the book of Psalms and fast for two days. Thereafter he told me to make an offering to one orphanage called Mother Theresa’s Home and gave me an account name and number — Orobosa Ekhaguere, Skye Bank 3048676241,” said Makoni.

Makoni said, after briefly communicating with the impersonator, he requested for a number which they could communicate via WhatsApp.

“He gave me a number to chat via WhatsApp. He told me he was in Nigeria for a Christian summit and I believed him. It was while we were chatting that he kept asking me if I had sent a “donation”. He kept asking me about the money and I began to smell a rat.

“So I started talking to him in Shona and he could not even respond in the language. It was then that my suspicions had been asserted. When I asked him if he was the real prophet Magaya he told me that I would be punished by God and my  blessings would not come to pass,” said Makoni.

He added that he was also surprised as to how the account would be active even on Sundays during church services.

Sunday News took the liberty to examine the Facebook account, which has a profile and cover picture of prophet Magaya and seems to have been created in 2017.

The account apparently pays close attention to Prophet Magaya’s original account and mimics almost every bit of information posted.

Some of the people who befriended the scammer include some top Government officials and police as well.

Prophet Magaya and his camp could not be reached for comment by the time of going to press.

Many people throughout the world have fallen victim to such scams, losing hundreds, if not thousands of dollars.

Ghosting is defined as the practice of ending a personal relationship by suddenly withdrawing from all communication, without explanation. The term seems like just another one of those viral words from the urban dictionary, such as “sauce”, “flexing”, “adulting” and so many others that have crept into our vocabulary. But ghosting has likely been around for centuries: before the internet, there just wasn’t a catchy term for it.

Couples in the township have been known to resort to ukutshayisana ngomoya (also known as ukutshayisana nge-current) when the relationship is fraught with difficulties.

Ukutshayisana ngomoya could mean anything from the silent treatment after an argument, to an unexplained breakup: either way, the practice has been around since long before the term became viral.

According to the Elite Daily website, as many as 78% of millennials have been ghosted at least once in their lives, and it appears that the practice thrives in the context of the digital world of snaps and chats. Technological developments in communication mean that these days we frame our understanding of ghosting within the context of behaviour on social-media, where people constantly block and delete each other.

“In psychology, ghosting equates to exclusion, isolation, ostracism, and being ignored,” says Karen Moross, a psychologist with the Family Life Centre (Famsa) in South Africa. “It leads to  misinterpretation. The victim will inevitably ask ‘Am I not good enough?’ and the psychological effects are very damaging because ghosting is done with certain malice,” she says. “In most cases you can’t confront (the person doing the ghosting). That’s the nature of online ghosting.”

Wisani Khosa, a social worker based in Heidelburg, agrees: “Ghosting definitely leads to misinterpretation, because you are simply not getting a response: you are cut off. This, in most cases, is more difficult to deal with than a usual breakup,” she says.

“Where kids are involved, you can come up with a fictitious story or reasons. Take the story and use it as a teaching moment for the child,” Khosa says. “Of course, it’s a bit difficult in cases where the kids are older. In such cases, the parent has to be frank. Honest communication is important.”

What with the advent of online dating, ghosting is bound to proliferate, Khosa says. “The advent of dating apps like Tinder and Bumble set the scene for online ghosting. So we are likely to have more cases of ghosting,” she says. “It’s going to be a defining feature of modern dating. But the fact that we are talking about it helps, because people are made aware of it. It prepares one somehow.” Masi Tlou*, 36, a media practitioner based in Sandton, Johannesburg was had been seeing her boyfriend for three years when she was ghosted. The couple got along famously and Tlou, not unusually, harboured ambitions to settle down in a relationship that culminated in a marriage.

“There was no heads-up,” she says. “In early December 2015 we had spent a weekend together — only, we had spent it with friends. So there was a bit of busyness, because we attended other people’s parties and braais. The next Monday, Tlou texted her boyfriend to ask him to hang out, mentioning that while they had spent time together, it hadn’t been alone time. She messaged: “Let me fix dinner later tonight, so that when the week gets busy at least we know we are not missing out on each other.”

That evening, she cooked a special supper for the two of them. Normally, if her boyfriend were coming round, he’d arrive at about 7.30pm, but by 8.30pm, there was no sign of him. So Tlou texted him again, to see if he were caught up at the office.

“There was no response,” she says. “At that stage, I was not alarmed by anything. Then, later on, probably after 9pm, I phoned him, but he didn’t pick up the call. I then sent him a text asking if he was okay, and still there was no response.

“At that point I was getting annoyed but I wasn’t alarmed,” Tlou continues. “Eventually, I texted, ‘Hey, I’m going to bed and you’ll find your food where you normally find it.’”

The next morning when Tlou woke up, her boyfriend was not next to her — and neither had he replied to her texts. “I started to panic,” she says. “I called him and he didn’t pick up. Needless to say I texted.”

But Tlou realised that she had been ghosted. “There was no call to confront him. At that stage it had become obvious that he was ignoring my efforts to reach out to him.”

Muvhango’s Senzo Radebe, a self-confessed serial ghoster, believes that ghosting has become the norm for people who dread the admin of breaking up. “You don’t want to be mean,” he says. “You don’t want to tell the other girl you’ve found someone else. For ghosters, it’s about trying not to be mean more than anything else. So the best way to go about it is to ghost that person until they also get tired of you.”

Radebe was seven years into a relationship when he started to ghost his then-girlfriend. “Yes, I had dated a girl for seven years, and there was a time when I just ghosted her,” he says.

“She obviously deserved better, but the other girls were the reason I ghosted her. As a young person you get to meet someone who, at the time, seems more exciting and prettier. And you just ghost the other person, without you even knowing you are ghosting them. “It’s one of those things that just happen unconsciously. And four months down the line you regret it,” Radebe admits. “At that time you’ve already deleted pictures on Instagram because you are trying to make sure that the other girl doesn’t find out that you were dating this other girl.”

Radebe concedes that ghosting is not good manners although he believes some situations call for it. “The last time I ghosted someone, it wasn’t my fault,” he says. “On Valentine’s Day this year I had threatened to go out with this nameless girl. On the day, I had called her a few times to finalise details of our date. But for some reason she was not picking up. I decided to ghost her. “I didn’t know the whole story: I didn’t care,” he says. “I just jumped into conclusions and I decided to ghost her. Till this day, she’s still wondering what happened.”

*not their real names. This article first appeared in the March 2018 print edition of Sowetan S Mag.-Sowetan.co.za

Bodybuilder breakfast

Simon Gama

ALL champions started the same way as you. They were once underdeveloped and wanted to improve their bodies just like you do. Many of my students develop so well that they want to enter bodybuilding competitions. I hope you too improve so much that you could enter a competition. If you do there are some very special things you need to know about how to prepare yourself for competition and I want to tell you about them now.

The first thing you must realise is that not everyone can be a bodybuilding champion. The most important ingredients is dedication and that means paying close attention to nutrition and working out consistently and very hard.

However, you do need a certain amount of potential to win physique contests. If you want to enter a competition you should stand back and asses yourself. Do you have wide shoulders and fairly narrow hips or is it the other way round,  blocky and wide waist? Do you have natural calf development or are your lower legs spindly? Do you tend to be naturally muscular?

All these things can help or hurt in your quest for championship status. If you are weak in these areas you may want to wait a little longer before preparing for a contest. If you however, want to start getting ready for a contest now here’s how.

If you have followed my course diligently and have come through my three-day a week basic programme my split system of training and my power and bulk training and have successfully constructed your own work outs with the cycle principles as their base you may consider beginning competition at a local level.

If you have been working out hard and following all my tenants of good nutrition you would already have constructed a solid base for a great physique. If you desire to enter competitions and have attended a couple of contests to see how they run then you will want to plan for a show about six months in advance.

The first thing you need to do is to access your structure and masculinity. Are you weak in any areas? Are you muscular and fairly defined right now? Are you carrying more than 10 pounds of extra fat? Are your muscles highly separated and invincible? Right now you need to accurately assess your body to know whether you need to diet hard to lose fat or to eat more to gain muscle size. Even in beginning competition today while you need good sized muscles you need to be very muscular shaped and defined to win.

Most of you will want to follow a special low fat moderate carbohydrate and high protein diet now. You should be drinking a lot of fresh water 12-16 glasses everyday up to 3 or 4 days before the show. You will gradually try to cut back on your calories while maintaining enough protein for growth and carbohydrates for energy to still work out super hard. Supplements will be important too.

If you are significantly overweight about 15 pounds above what you feel is your ideal contest weigh. You should only lose 1-2 pounds per week through your dieting and training. Any more than that and you will lose muscle along with your fat. The last week before competition you will also drop off 2-3 pounds of water. Here is a good diet to follow for the six months before your contest.

Breakfast
6-10 life Essence capsules on an empty stomach with fresh water.

Bowl of dry cereal with skimmed milk; 2 pieces of rye toast with minimal butter; 3 eggs whites; Quarter lb of skinned chicken or turkey; 1 glass of fresh unsweetened orange juice; Supplements Megabolic Mega Pak 1oz of dynamic Muscle Builder.

Lunch or Midday meal
Large raw salad limited dressing; Glass of skimmed milk; One glass or two of fresh fruit.

30 minutes prior to training
Pre-stress with Anabblic Mega Pak; Small piece of fruit

After work-out
Carbo energiser

Dinner
Baked potatoes (no garnishings); Steamed vegetables; Small meat serving — lean meats, fish, roast, chicken, turkey; Amnobolic Mega Pak

30-45 minutes before bedtime
2nd part of Aminobolic Mega Pak; Drink 12-16 big glasses of water daily. About a month before the contest you will want to cut back on your portions, depending upon how much fat you’re carrying. The last week before your show you will eliminate anything with salt in it and also start cut back on water retaining foods. You want enough carbohydrates in your body for energy to train and pose but not so much that you retain a lot of fluid.

Alternative A: Monday to Thursday (Sat)—Chest, shoulders, triceps, fore arms, calves, abdominals, thighs, back, biceps.
Alternative B: Monday to Thursday (Sat)-abdominals, chest, back upper, shoulders, forearms, thighs, triceps, lower back, calves

— Additional information from Online sources.

 The writer, Simon Gama is a fitness trainer at Body Works Gym in Bulawayo.

The late Mackay “Sakhamuzi” Tickeys

Bruce Ndlovu
FINDING the grave of legendary actor Mackay “Sakhamuzi” Tickeys is not an easy task.

Most of the people who he befriended or shared the stage with have simply no idea where those who survive him reside.

According to Fortune Ruzungude, the man who starred opposite Tickeys as Folomani in Sinjalo, Tickey’s family has relocated to South Africa. Although he used to live a stone’s throw away from his fellow cast member, Ruzungude is not entirely sure of what became of Tickeys’ family.

Instead, he passes on another contact to this reporter and from that number the trail grew cold again.

Veteran actor and director Memory Kumbota remembers that when he passed away, Tickeys had a wife and a young daughter. He is also at a loss about the family’s current whereabouts.

The search for the real Sakhamuzi is not an easy one. In his prime, Tickeys was one of Zimbabwe’s most respected actors, a master of his craft who lived and breathed for the roles that he took on whether on stage or on TV.

So dedicated was he to his craft that retired arts practitioner Cont Mhlanga remembers how Tickeys would become consumed by a role he was cast in.

“He was so dedicated to his craft. If the script said that he should play a beggar then he would go to the railway station and live as a beggar for five weeks just so that he could play the role of one. After those five weeks he would come back and say now I’m ready to play this role,” Mhlanga said.

Despite glowing praise from Mhlanga and others in the arts, Tickeys’ legacy is not exactly clear cut. His death in 2006 almost led to an uprising at Amakhosi, after an obituary  claimed that the actor had led an irresponsible life that had led to his early death.

“Tickeys celebrated his performing success by beer drinking, women and died a pale shadow of the township hero that he was, poor and penniless with nothing to show for his achievements . . . At the end of the day people blame us as producers when they see an actor dying without anything. They tend to believe we swindle actors out of their earnings,” the statement which was later withdrawn, said.

A ferocious fight had followed that statement, with Mhlanga in the end getting a court order to bar some performers that had become hostile to him especially in the aftermath of that damning obituary.

While he seemed to have gone the way of many artistes before and after him, there were those that were prepared to fight so that his image was not tarnished as he headed for the grave.

So exactly who was Mackay Tickeys? Was he a down and out drunkard that passed without a penny to his name on 16 June 2006 or was he a man of the people, people who were even prepared to fight tooth and nail and risk their own livelihood so that his name would not live in infamy posthumously?

“If you got to know him well he was a different person off the stage. Funny and fun loving yes, but he had his softer side, his fears, his ambitions, his love for his daughter uS’phongo and his nephews. He was a strong father figure. Just like the best of us he would mess up from time to time uBhudas. We all called him Bhudas by the way. Even today I still call him that.

Sometimes we messed up together but it was all in good natured fun,” said Kumbota.

According to the veteran arts practitioner, it was on stage that Tickeys was most at home. It made him a sought after actor who even A-list stars wanted to star opposite to.

“I found him to be very, very talented. It was like everything came easy to him and he would not struggle to get into character like most of us do. He just flowed. I believe Mackay did not ‘act’, he became. He would not act a character but became the character. That is why I guess people thought that his stage and screen persona was what he lived. Nothing could be further from the truth.

“All along in our relationship I wanted to act with him but I remember Cont would say that we’re too similar. Meanwhile, I directed him again in Mopani Junction — the radio drama series. But then that chance came in Lewis Ndlovu’s Dingane and the Rooftop production of Wole Soyinka’s From Zia with Love, directed by Cont Mhlanga and Dawn Parkinson,” he said.

On the set of Sinjalo, a risky, yet groundbreaking production that tackled the politics of tribe and friendship in modern day Zimbabwe, Tickeys had kept the spirits up with his home.

“He made sure that we were more like a family on the set. He was someone who just enjoyed cracking jokes and Mackay would notice that the mood was down and start cracking jokes. If you didn’t laugh then he would start laughing at the jokes himself then you would find yourself joining in even against your will,” said Ruzungude.

However, sometimes this humour would give away to anger, something that at times mirrored some of the raging men he portrayed on screen.

“He had a great sense of humour but could also get angry pretty easily. He hated to be underrated or looked down upon,” said Kumbota.

The difficulty one has in finding those that survive Tickeys is just an illustration of how difficult it is to find out who some of the departed people that gave Zimbabweans smiles over the years, truly were. Once the curtain came down on his life, it was as if Tickeys’ existence had been wiped out. The man whose karate skills were legendary on the rough streets of Makokoba had never existed.

“The legacy that he left was on stage and nothing off it. This is generally a weakness among artistes of the older generation.

Their legacy is only tied to what they did on stage and it was the case with him as well. When you talk about all their life, all you can talk about is what they did on stage and nothing off it. There’s nothing tangible that they left behind. So all our memories of him are tied to what he did on stage and that’s it,” said Raisedon Baya.

For Kumbota, the lasting memories he will always have of Tickeys are also tied to the late actor’s last days on earth. Lying there on his deathbed, Tickeys would spend his days practising, preparing for a last performance that never was.

“The one I would never forget is the Workshop Negative we did in Los Angeles, California. Workshop is like “the classic” and for me that was a defining moment. Bhudas held my hand through and through and helped me in every way to successfully fit in highly talented cast of him, Chris Hurst and Dr Chris Jones I think. It was in California that he first fell ill and was admitted to hospital.

“I used to visit him every day and he would take me through my lines and the nurses would come in and ask, ‘are you rehearsing’ and we would say, ‘no, we are chatting.’ It happened until they jokingly threatened to ban me from visiting. Well, he recovered only to relapse and succumb to the illness while we were back home. I guess that Workshop Negative in California was his last stage performance,” he said.

Bishop Nyathi

Nigel Siziba, Sunday Life Reporter
AFTER releasing its album (CD) and live DVD, Harvest House International choir looks determined to send waves in the world of gospel music.

In fact, the choir seems unstoppable in wanting to be one of the best choirs in southern Africa and beyond. The album, aptly titled Genesis, is truly the beginning of better things to come.

Harvest Choir

Minister Suku Luphahla highlighted in the church magazine that the 2017/18 apostolic year has been exciting for the music hub.

“The 2017/18 year has been exciting indeed for the music core, as we have experienced a tremendous growth in the number of choirs participating. Twenty-one choirs participated in the Clash of Choirs 2018 and it has become a trending event in Bulawayo,” she said.

This year’s Clash of Choirs was graced by some celebrated artistes locally and internationally.

“Dr Tumi was one of the adjudicators together with Lindelani Mkhize of Joyous Celebration, award-winning Pastor Charles Charamba and Rachel Chigwada. The competition was ultimately won by Worship Temple Unveiled who walked away with $5 000,” she said.

The Harvest House Super Choir was established after a tough audition on 27 January and 116 choristers qualified from all the hub of choirs.

“Harvest House Music established the Super Choir through an audition process which was meant to select the best of the best from all the hub choirs and 116 qualified and a lot of effort was put. We had long day and night practice sessions and finally 60 members remained after a rigorous vetting process,” she said.

Bishop Colin Nyathi also said over the past five years they have been recording songs during the Clash of Choirs competitions.

“We have been doing this for the past five years and we have been recording the songs during the competitions and we have 400 songs. In this album we only had to choose the best 25 and perfected them, also as Harvest Music we do not recycle old songs,” he said.

He further said the CD and DVD will have a huge impact locally and internationally.

“Our CD and DVD will have a huge impact around the world because it is already airing on different platforms like ZBC, One Gospel on DStv, Australia, UK, the list is endless,” he said.

One of the Harvest House International products Takesure Zamar Ncube said the choir will have a huge influence in the Sadc region.

“I can confidently say it is undeniable that we have the best choir that can be rated with the likes of Joyous Celebration, but ours is unique because we are more balanced and our strength is that we are flexible in terms of language use because in this album we used Shona, Ndebele, Zulu, Venda and English,” he said.

He added that it was a rare opportunity that can be given to an artiste to be part of the project.

“It is a rare opportunity to be given such a platform. No matter how talented you are getting such an opportunity is very uncommon. I have gone around and I have seen artistes knocking on doors for such opportunities, to me this is a way of giving back to the community and to me this falls under philanthropy,” he said.

Bishop Nyathi added that if artistes feel like they are ready to go solo, the church will not stand in anyone’s way.

“This is just a platform we give to artistes and if they feel like they can stand on their own they are free and as a church that is what we want. This has seen us producing some of the finest artistes like Takesure Ncube, Brian Bangura, Absolom Ndlovu, Moses Ziwenga, Oshiana Ncube, Nompumelelo Bhebhe and Pride Panashe (Namibia), among others,” he explained.

He also revealed that they are looking forward to having a school of music.

“We have big plans and we are looking forward to recording more of them (albums) and we want to have a school of music.

We want to take our choir on a tour around and outside the country and our long term plan is to have buses with a PA systems that will support big concerts,” he said.

Peter Matika, Senior Life Reporter

THE final countdown for the much anticipated Miss Tourism Zimbabwe pageant, which will be exclusively held in Bulawayo for the first time, has begun.

With just less than four days left to the glitzy event, organizers and models are keyed up to showcase night not to forget.

The pageant will be held at Rainbow Hotel in Bulawayo, where the pageant national license holder Sarah Mpofu – Sibanda said would be a surprise venue under the beautiful Zimbabwean Stars.

“It will be a night not to miss, it will be filled with excitement and will be illuminated with the country’s natural zing,” she said.

Currently 21 beauties are in boot camp and are today touring the majestic Victoria Falls. “Last week a glitzy sashing and Miss Talent show was held at a state of the art hotel in Harare – Yadah hotel. As part of promoting domestic tourism, the girls were then taken to Masvingo, where they spent two nights and had the opportunity to visit and view the Great Zimbabwe monuments.

‘Today they are at Vic Falls, and then they will proceed for the final part of the boot camp,” said a chairperson of the event, Sibusisiwe Muleya.

“It surely has been a boot camp with a difference, the girls were taken to the prayer Mountain, where they were given time to meditate and connect with God,” she added.

Muleya said in future the pageant would be held in all the country’s cities and towns.

“There is that feeling of inclusivity, diversity and unity. Modeling is not just an event, but it is a unifier, a celebratory event to celebrate the multilingual nation we are and the diverse cultures.

‘The approach that we have as a board is making this a mobile national event. All resort towns must enjoy hosting this event, it will make bigger and more exciting,” said Muleya.

Bruce Ndlovu

Although she has spent over two decades grooming models for the biggest pageants around the globe, Miss Tourism Zimbabwe license holder Sarah Mpofu-Sibanda has conceded that coming up with the winner of the crown for this year’s pageant will be no walk in the park, as this year’s bunch represents the cream of modeling around the country.

Bulawayo will host the pageant for the first time on Saturday at Holiday Inn, with the winner of the pageant set to walk away with $10 000. Mpofu-Sibanda alongside the pageant’s Chairperson Sibusiwe Dube-Muleya, waxed lyrical about the financial support that the pageant had got so far, saying that the money on offer for the winner might increase as they were still waiting on some sponsors to honour their promises.

With most of the organizational aspects of the pageant now sorted out, Mpofu-Sibanda told a press conference today that the hardest task was now coming with a winner for the prestigious pageant.

“It’s very difficult to pick out who you think will win the competition as all the models are very capable of winning the crown. All of them are well educated and are certainly ready for Saturday,” said Mpofu-Sibanda.

21 beauties will go head to head for the crown on Saturday evening, with proceedings expected to kick off at 7pm after the red carpet arrival of guests.

Below are some of the contestants…      

Anelisiwe Ndebele 24

Ashleigh Mutsatsa 23

Chantel Dlamini 18

Chido Nyika 23

Gamuchirai Johera 21

Kudzanai Chivinge 23

Life Matunzeni 22

Maita Kanga 24

Melissa Jack 23

Mhlengiwethu Mahlangu 19

Natalie Mangondo 22

Natasha Gora 21

Nelia Marisa 23

Panashe Peters 21

Ruvarashe Makuu 23

Ruvimbo Makandatsama 19

Sibusisiwe Falala 23

Tafadzwa Jaricha 23

Tania Aaron 22

Tendai Sibanda 22

Agatha Kalinga 23

Pokello

Bruce Ndlovu
LAST Thursday, Zimbabwean social media woke up to another live broadcast on social media.

This time on Instagram, Olinda was busy taking down her opponents in the way only she can. In front of hundreds of viewers, she was bragging about how she was blocking accounts that had been attacking her, claiming that they had more incriminating evidence on Tytan, the man she wedded only a few weeks ago.

Elikem and Pokello

Not much time has passed since the two exchanged vows but their union is already reportedly on the rocks. The two’s relationship is already haemorrhaging, wounded by sharp screenshots tossed Olinda’s way with the intention of doing exactly that — hurt and wound.

Olinda was now questioning how anyone in their wisdom had so much time to attack others on social media sites, going to the extent of creating ghost accounts to  bring the “V11s” that proved that indeed her beau was a cheater.

The wise would agree with her. What kind of person is so eager to see the downfall of another’s relationship?

The even wiser might perhaps have asked why one was spending so much time on the social network, blindly throwing punches at enemies that hid behind the anonymity of fake accounts.

The news of Olinda’s battle came just after news filtered through that another marriage that had seemed to be flourishing a couple of years ago on social media was also on its knees.

Nigerian fashion designer and former reality TV star Elikem Kumordzie had, the press announced, commenced divorce proceedings as he looked to break for good from Pokello, the woman who he paid $25 000 for in lobola only three years ago.

The Ghanaian has gone to court to try and undo the bond that he solemnly swore he would keep intact whether in success or in health.

“The plaintiff (Elikem) and defendant (Pokello) have not stayed together as husband and wife for the past one year since September 2017 and such is regarded by plaintiff to be incompatible with the continuation of a normal marriage relationship,” Elikem said.

“As a result of the above, the plaintiff has lost love and affection to the extent that there are no prospects for reconciliation due to the irretrievable differences between the parties.”

For many, the marriage has seemed doomed for the past few months. As early as last year, eagle-eyed social media followers had already seen that the two were no longer following each other. The affection that seemed to flow from their earlier social media exchanges had long dried up, with interactions between the two kept at a minimum.

As Tytan and Olinda have illustrated, in this current age, a marriage becomes unstuck on social media before it is dissolved in the courts. The speed with which the marriages fall apart however, will have the sceptics wondering if the marriages are still motivated by love or the desire to look good on the social networks.

Since time immemorial, there has always been pressure for one to marry. Many young women are reminded even in their early 20s that they are expected to bring a suitor home and mothers ask their sons when they can expect grandchildren.

Spinsterhood is a fear of many and marriage is a badge that many feel they have to wear for social acceptance.

However, one can argue that in the age of social media, the pressure to get married has become greater. Pictures of happy couples in their wedding clothes litter timelines. With every post the envy of those that are yet to get hitched increases.

For some, not only getting married is enough, they have to look a perfect fit with their partner.

Pokello and Elikem’s marriage seemed to be the perfect union. The two had fallen in love in front of the whole continent, locking lips and entwining hearts during their stay in the Big Brother house.

During and after their stay in that infamous house, many had made it known on social media that they felt they were a perfect match.

She was the confessed shoe addict, a trailblazing fashion lover who had turned her passion into a money making business. He was the Nigerian fashion designer heartthrob, a man who had made his name as a tailor. Ghanaians encouraged him to sew their hearts together, while Zimbabweans told her to click her heels in the direction of a man who was clearly a catch.

Marriage and a child soon followed and everyone was happy in this perfect world in which Pokello and Elikem would be the best dressed couple on social media, outshining other power couples during showbiz events. They looked perfect right until the moment they were not.

Perhaps their followers should have been cautioned about the dangers of long distance love, seeing as Pokello and Elikem both resided in Ghana and Zimbabwe respectively.

As yet, no one truly knows why their relationship started turning sour after what seemed like the blink of an eye. Perhaps the social rumours of her strange “brotherly” relationship with Tazvi Mhaka played a part. Perhaps the nasty social media fallout that followed images of Pokello at Mhaka’s All White Boat Party created sufficient stink to convince the Ghanaian to walk away.

Perhaps Elikem has his own skeletons in his country that Pokello unearthed with the help of a few screenshots. Nobody truly knows. What is certain now is that the romance is dead, the fairytale is truly over and social media now has to find another perfect couple to obsess over.

Sandra Ndebele

Raisedon Baya

DO we need affirmative action in the creative sector? We mean policies and programmes that deliberately seek to push and uplift women in the arts? These are the questions silently floating in the air in Zimbabwe. Well, the answer is a definite YES.

During the informal debates on the issue that go on every day many male artistes are of the opinion that no one, except a few individuals are advantaged and therefore there is no need to have affirmative action favouring women artistes.

But we all know every debate has two sides. We are of the opinion that there is serious need to push women artistes and make them more visible and bankable.

In the past many women have cried about many things. And rightly so. Women have cried about unfair working conditions.

Women have cried about sexual abuse. Women have cried about being objectified and later taken advantage of.

When Zimbabwe talks about the big five or even big ten artistes in the country no women artistes gets mentioned. When big foreign artistes come to play in the country rarely do you get female artistes as supporting acts?

The response from promoters is always the same. There are no female artistes big enough or popular enough to fit the bill or draw crowds. Well, the painful truth is no one but the sector itself will make female artistes big or bankable.

None but ourselves. Yes, we need policies that deliberately push women to higher levels. Let’s create our big female stars.

Let’s support our women artistes. First we need to create a conducive environment for women artistes to work in.

Women artistes need to be protected, they need to feel safe and free to explore their creativity and talent. Women artistes need to be respected. They need to succeed, not because they are beautiful and connected but because they have talent.

A casual glance at the sector will tell you we have big women artistes. Stars in their own right like Sandra Ndebele, Fungisai, Dudu Manhenga, Rute Mbangwa, Ammara Brown, Edith WeUtonga, and a few others. But how many times have these performed at bigger concerts? How many of them have supported an international act?

How many have headlined big concerts? None if you ask me. And that says a lot. Women artistes are not making waves not because they are not talented or hungry enough but because they are not being supported.

And they need support. They need policies that encourage them to grow. They need opportunities that push them up.

We can say all we want but the truth is women need more support if they are to make it.

They need skills development programmes. They need support with family matters. They need programmes that recognise and encourage family participation. If we do it right we will soon have many shows headlined by women. We will also have many women featuring among the top five or top ten Zimbabwean artistes.

We will have women stars inspiring the young girls in schools.

Crying for women to be on posters is not enough. Activists who seriously want to see women artistes prosper need to scream for meaning change, not just to see women on posters.

Many a time posters have actually been used to abuse women, especially when we portray them as nothing but sex objects just to sell a show. Women need to come together and make a united noise.

A united voice will make many people listen. Only then will we start to see proper change.