Hi Sis Noe

MY vagina makes farting sounds when I am having sex with my boyfriend. What is the cause of that? It stresses me a lot. — Help.

Reply

You definitely have nothing to worry or be embarrassed about. This gassy sound, sometimes referred to as queefing, is merely air escaping from your vagina, and it is quite common. During sex, the in-and-out action of your guy’s penis forces air into you that fills the space in the inner part of your vagina that has expanded during arousal. An especially deep thrust or shift in your body position can cause the air to be released in a noisy emission.

Or it might occur after orgasm, when the air is expelled as the vagina returns to its pre-aroused state. If you have not had sex before, or not had sex for a while, you may notice your vagina can be particularly windy — which can feel awkward if you are with someone you don’t know sexually. Swapping for oral sex or other, non-penetrative, pleasures could also work. It’s worth remembering while some people are shocked by farts, others are turned on by them, while most realise through experience this is just one of those sex things.

You may prefer just to keep doing whatever feels good for you sexually, with the understanding sometimes that it will also lead to queefing. Vaginal wind could also be related to pelvic floor problems, caused by childbirth among other things. You can attempt to prevent the air from getting inside you by having your guy make small, shallow strokes. Or, you can try to stick to positions that don’t lift your pelvis too much, since pelvis-elevating positions, such as doggie-style, can increase queefing. But, to tell you the truth, the best advice is to just laugh it off. Why would you want to compromise your sexual pleasure because of a little farting?

Hi Sis Noe

I am trying to have a baby with my husband; the problem is that the semen does not stay inside my vagina. It comes out after sex. Is there something wrong with me? — Worried.

Reply

This is very normal, but you obviously need to know why. I will get a little graphic, so bear with me.  Ejaculate (semen) is made up of a lot of different things. One of its components is sperm. In a normal male ejaculate, there are anywhere between 20 and 400 million sperms. All you need to get pregnant is one. What normally happens after sexual intercourse is that a lot of the ejaculate does leak out.

Some of it, however, remains in the back of the vagina (in the posterior fornix) and an even smaller amount makes its way up through the cervix, into the uterus and down the fallopian tubes. It is here, in the fallopian tubes, that the sperm and egg meet. So, the bottom line is that you don’t need to lie in bed with your legs up after intercourse to get pregnant and the fact that semen is leaking out afterwards, doesn’t decrease your chances of conceiving. Just enjoy the sex. You can still certainly become pregnant, even if it feels like everything is coming out afterwards.

This is because the strongest and fastest sperm would have stayed behind, as they will be well on their way to fertilise the egg by the time you stand up or go to the bathroom after having sex. Do not be disheartened; keep in mind that you only need one very strong and quick sperm to fertilise your egg. This means that even if most of the sperm does leak out of you, there are still hundreds, if not thousands, of sperm still swimming around inside you.

Hi Sis Noe

My boyfriend loses his erection most times when we are having sex. He says he loves me and I turn him on, but I don’t believe him because we hardly have sex. — Worried and confused.

Reply

It is difficult not to take an issue like this personally. We equate erection with sexual attraction and, therefore, assume that the reverse is also true. If a man can’t get an erection, on a subconscious level we worry that we aren’t sexy enough, but erectile failure is hardly ever caused by lack of physical attraction. The ingrained expectation that males communicate their desire through their erections can make women feel unnecessarily insecure, but it puts a lot of sexual pressure on men too.

This problem is often compounded by the fact that a woman’s desire to be desired means she will expect her man to perform without providing any direct stimulation. Any woman who wants a man to sustain his erection must be willing to coax it into existence with physical contact. Likewise, when a man loses his erection during sex, manual or oral stimulation is much more effective in restoring it than interrogation or humiliation.

The worst thing you can do is become wound up. Harping on about the problem can lead to a situation where your man’s fear of losing his erection ensures that he will. Although I am fairly sure that your boyfriend’s problem is common performance anxiety, continual erectile failure in a young man can indicate underlying health problems such as diabetes, hypertension, heart disease or vascular disease. Taking drugs, drinking too much, working too hard or using prescription medications such as anti-depressants can also play havoc with the ability to maintain an erection.

However, if your boyfriend experiences spontaneous nocturnal or morning erections then the problem is almost certainly psychological. I am pretty sure that the situation will resolve on its own accord once he begins to feel more confident, but if his failure to achieve a reliable erection continues to interfere with your capacity to enjoy sex, it would be worth exploring viagra and sex therapy.

Hi Sis Noe

My boyfriend is very talkative before sex and during sex he loves telling me sweet words, but after sex he is very quiet. I am worried that I don’t satisfy him but he says it’s not that. He says he is just like that. — Stressed.

Reply

Believe it or not, it is common for men and women to feel depressed after sex, even if it was mind-blowing. So the next time you get it on and your partner turns away or doesn’t want to participate in pillow talk, he is not just being an insensitive jerk.

There is actually a real name for this condition. It is called post-coital tristesse (PCT). It comes from the Latin phrase post-coital and the French word tristesse, and it literally means sadness. Many people who suffer from PCT will experience strong feelings of sorrow, anxiety, or uneasiness anywhere from immediately after sex to up to two hours later. Why does this happen? It involves the hormone prolactin.

Women have this hormone to make milk, but men have it, too. Your body creates it after an orgasm to counteract the release of dopamine, the hormone responsible for sexual arousal. So the prolactin is believed to cause these feelings of melancholy. Sex is all about connecting with someone, and while the dopamine surging through your body makes you feel great while you are having sex, afterwards, reality might sink in.

You may feel scared or nervous about commitment, so you may want to be alone, or get some emotional (and even physical) distance from the person you were just with. Sex also makes us say things in the heat of the moment, so while your loins made you say “I love you and want to have your children,” later on that may not seem like such a good idea. Give your man a break.

SOULMATES
I am an 18-year-old girl looking for a man who is aged between 23 and 28. He must be employed and prepared to take care of me.

I am a 29-year-old man looking for a proper girlfriend I can marry. I am afraid its getting too late for me.

I’m a lady aged 32, I’m looking for a man who will love, care and respect me, I’m a devote Christian at Harvest House International, a good looking black beauty, loves cooking, cleaning, doing laundry going to church. I’m HIV-POSITIVE and I am a free person who is always happy.

I am a 39-year-old HIV-positive mother of one daughter. I need a serious man aged 45 to 50.

I am a lady aged 27 looking for a husband aged 30 to 40. He must be HIV-negative.

May you please help me to find a soul mate. I am a lady aged 30 and gainfully employed. I am looking for an employed Christian man who is aged 32-38 to settle down with. I work in Masvingo but I am from Bulawayo.

I am a single mum aged 39 looking for someone aged between 40-45 years who is willing to settle down. I live in Bulawayo.

I am a 25-year-old single mum, living positively. I am looking for a positive man who is aged 30-45.

I’m a man aged 40, looking for a lady 25 to 35 yrs to marry. I have two kids.

I’m a 35-year-old lady. I’m HIV-positive; please help me find a good partner. I’m a mother of one kid. He should be 35-40.

I am a 22-year-old lady and a mother of one. I need an Adventist man who is ready to settle and must be 28 to 34 years old.

Ngilijaha elileminyaka engu28, ngidinga intombi yokuthatha ezimiseleyo ukwenda. Njalo akube ngokhuluma isiNdebele.

Ngikhangelele ukuthola umuntu ojayele impilo yedolobheni leyekhaya. Mina ngihlala koBulawayo. Akube ngumuntu oleminyaka engu 18-22. Njalo kabe ngumuntu ongelamntwana ngoba lami angilaye.

Reply

For the numbers of the above people, WhatsApp the number 0773111328.

Jah Prayzah and Diamond Platnumz

Peter Matika, Senior Life Reporter
A SUPERSTAR by all means, Jah Prayzah who is currently enjoying the success of his latest album Mdhara Vachauya, has more to celebrate, as his hit song and video Watora Mari has marked a record breaking milestone views on YouTube in a short period of time.

Uploaded on YouTube on 12 August this year, the video, which features Tanzania’s superstar Diamond Platnumz, recorded over 839 634 views in just a week of being uploaded.

The song is one of the fastest (if not the fastest) to record breaking views on YouTube for a Zimbabwean music video.

Watora Mari is hot on Ammara Brown and Tytan’s hit single Mukoko, which has 895 000 views presently. It is also one of the most viewed Zimbabwean music videos on YouTube.

The song will, or rather has probably reached one million views, as you are reading this, a milestone that has eluded local artistes that are using YouTube extensively including the Zim dancehall artistes that usually have strong view counts.

Jah Prayzah’s video shows that well produced Zimbabwean content has a substantial audience online.

Watora Mari has also benefited from the collaboration with an African superstar, but the effort placed in recording a great song and making a high-quality video also appears to be bearing fruit.

It also opens up the discussion of opportunities to monetise content via YouTube with its remuneration model that only makes sense when an artiste registers views in the millions.

Jah Prayzah has created a name for himself, as one of the best artistes on the local music scene, with a brand name that has translated to successful live performances and tours, good record and DVD sales and a valuable name whose content can be tapped into by other companies and brands.

After checking out some of his detailed and well-directed videos, as well as the new Jah Prayzah website (which does a good job of positioning him as a professional entertainer) Jah Prayzah is on a league of his own.

He has harnessed a true entertainer’s marketing technique to explore the global audience delivered through technology.

@peterkmatika

Nkosilesisa Ncube, Sunday Life Reporter
MALE model of the year and Mr Fingers 2015 Shadel Noble is back from the Sadc Summit Fashion Festival in Swaziland, which ran between 26 and 27 August.

Noble was invited to take part in the show as the international brand ambassador for AMM, an agency based in South Africa.

He shared the stage with other top models from the Sadc region in a routine put together by South African fashion producer, Peter Tobejane.

Joining Noble on his journey were local designers Annie Maliki of Litso Fashion and Saneliso Mpofu of Sanah Designs who showcased their designs at the festival.

Noble said he met a lot of talented people at the festival and looks forward to working with them on future projects.

“I met this guy called Musty from Nigeria, he was full of joy and always happy then I met these lovely designers and models. I also made a lot of contacts which could help me in the future and I look forward to working with fashion giants like Collen Freshwear and Precious Lulu, these are big designers in South Africa,” he said.

Noble proved to be a favourite with the designers at the summit as most designers wanted him to walk their designs.

“When it was time for the designers to choose the models that they wanted to work with, most designers chose me because they said they loved my walk because it has a unique signature to it,” Noble said.

The Sadc Summit Fashion Festival is an initiative by Swaziland National Arts Council which allows designers from South Africa, Zimbabwe, Malawi, Botswana, Tanzania and Lesotho to showcase their designs.

Although this was Noble’s first time in Swaziland and at the Sadc summit festival, he is no stranger to the runway.

He has been with Fingers Modelling Agency for over a year, gracing events such as Ekhuruleni Fashion Festival, Matabeleland Fashion Week and Intwasa Fashion Show and is presently the reigning Matabeleland top male model.

He has a busy schedule ahead of him this year as he will participate in Mpumalanga Fashion Week and go back to the stage that started his career during the Intwasa Fashion Show.

@nkocykay

Bathabile Dlamini

Rumbidzai Mbewe, Sunday Life Correspondent
SHE is not only beautiful but has the brains to back it up. She recently came back from the United States of America where she was doing her studies and was among the 76 students from different countries who excelled in their studies with flying colours and received recognition in the Global Gazette undergraduate exchange programme.

Bathabile Dlamini said her stay in the States was life changing and she has gained a lot of experience from her internship and community work. The graduate said she was exposed to a system that supports individuals in what they are good at.

“I explored all I could explore despite the limited time I had considering that I had commitments that included internship, community involvement and extra-curriculum work. It was and still is mind-blowing to be exposed to the USA unique culture which took me a month to adjust,” she said.

She said education has always played a major role in her life and has had the perception that it is her catalyst to achieving her goals.

“From my experience, I believe that every go-getter girl like me out there can amount to anything if they stay faithful to their academic work. If you are faithful with the little, God always expands your territory and it applies to education,” she said.

Currently, Bathabile is working on a project that will benefit enthusiasts and go-getters in the country. She said this was part of her giving back to the community, sharing the knowledge and experience that she gained during her stay in America.

“I will be launching my project next month and so everything will be revealed once I have finalised everything. All those who want to be and have something in life, this project will help you kick start a better life for you,” she said.

Besides excelling in her education, Bathabile is also into theatre, she was part of Umbiko kaMadlenya which was a hit at last year’s Intwasa Festival of the Arts.

@rumbie_mbewe

Rutendo Chidawanyika

THE all-white fashion trend has been on runways, events and the streets for about two years. The same way people wear all-black, all-beige or even all nude, all-white is a just as acceptable. If this trend is worn well it gives one a clean and fresh look.

The all-white trend suits any style and all you have to do is add your personal touch to make it truly express your personality.

This trend is suitable for weddings, pool parties and even fashion shows. The all-white look has the ability to make you feel timeless, chic and still on trend at every occasion. This look has a classy and sophisticated appearance especially when it is a full outfit.

This is how you can pull it off!

1 Use simple or minimum makeup

When it comes to wearing make-up with your all-white outfit, always keep it simple. If you are a fan of colour, limit it to only one part of your face, be it lips or eyes. Too much make-up will take away from the classy look you are going for. The natural look will be perfect for an all-white outfit, all you can do is add a pop of colour on the lips such as red or orange. If you decide to do the nude lip then add some colour on the eyes; bright eye shadow.

2 Go for uniform tone of white

When you want to create an all-white ensemble, try going for a uniform tone. A uniform tone means a tone of white that looks the same especially if you are wearing white jeans and a white t-shirt. This will pull the outfit together and create continuity. If you cannot create one tone, then you can add different tones such as ivory and white, or white and nude, or even off white and bright white in other fabrics and textures.

3 Do not layer

When it comes to wearing white you do not want to layer too much. You could wear a dress, pairing it with white shoes or a white top with white denim shorts. Layering too much may make the look too busy. White suits are an exception though, as is with every other trend, there is a limit to how many pieces you can wear at once.

4 Try a pop of colour/accessorise

Try adding a burst of colour to the outfit of your choice. Sometimes colour can take away from the all-white look but with the right accessories you can achieve the glam factor. Do play around with earrings, neck pieces, bangles or even a simple wrist watch. A clutch can also work well as an accessory if it is in the right colour. When you pair accessories with your all-white, use them to create the variance the outfit needs to stand out. The gold or nude accessories always complement an all-white attire. Wearing shoes which are gold, silver, nude, olive green or powder pink will complement your outfit. Some may prefer to add red, yellow or even blue; this will make the outfit stand out but the nudes and off-whites look better.

5 Pay attention to detail

All-white can be elegant, it is a safe choice especially when attending cocktail parties. You may want to wear a white dress, but in doing this make a statement and try something different. White can be a bit boring sometimes, so it is always nice to turn it up a notch. Try a detailed dress with an open back, or with crossed straps, or even an exaggerated peplum or some embellishments that will make it pop. The details on your outfit will set you apart from the rest of the crowd, especially at an all-white party.

We are heading to summer now and in as much as BLACK is BOLD, you need a clean, light, fresh and elegant look. All-white is THE trend for that.

Email: rutendochidawanyika3@gmail.com

Yoliswa Dube
NO matter what your reason is for living in a small room, a small house, or just a small space, you simply want to make the most out of the spatially-challenged spot!

Some people are looking for strictly formal living room designs, others prefer cosy, inviting atmospheres of a casual living space. But let’s face it; sometimes a tight area is all we can afford at the time.

Start re-imagining your whole space in a different way. You are going to make little adjustments only, a bit of remodelling to see that small could be refreshing, stimulating and what’s more important, pleasant to the eye.

When space is at the premium cost, furniture should serve a double duty. Therefore, nothing wastes more of so much needed space as furnishings that are used for only one purpose which is a sitting area. Go for multi-purpose furniture.

If you come across something that none of your family members have used for a year or so, dispose of it in an instant! It does not add any charm to the existing look of the lounge.

Creating a clean look, without any clutter should be your aim.

Do not get attached to old pieces of furnishings which no longer serve their purpose and create organised storage whenever possible.

Once all the multi-purpose furniture is bought and installed, try to pull them together in one key spot. Done the right way, the furniture will show off the personality of the homeowner.

It is known throughout the globe that scaled-down furniture makes the living quarters appear bigger than they actually are.

Even if you’ve mastered the art of living in a tight space to the maximum, knowing how to boost your space and make the best out of the area is what really counts.

Installing mirrors and screens takes the mystery out of re-decorating small living quarters.

Consider carefully the statement that adding mirrors on the walls dissolve room’s boundaries. So any space appears bigger than it actually is. Mirrors mounted near windows reflect light allow sunbeams to reflect on the mirrors.

This will brighten up the room in an instant! A mirror in a bold frame also draws attention from the size of the room and magnifies the personality treat of the design maker. — decorlove.com

Sandra Tekere, Sunday News Reporter
IT used to take a whole village to raise a child in the olden day but times have changed as pressing economic conditions have seen a lot of parents taking the diaspora route leaving children with no one to nurture and guide them into morally responsible and socially acceptable people as they grow.

The digital era has not helped the situation either as children can now freely tap into age restricted sites where they learn nothing less than things reserved for adults. This has seen the emergence of a disturbing trend in the city where school going teenagers are now attending wild parties now known as “vuzu parties” especially during school holidays where alcohol abuse, sex and nudity are celebrated.

While there is nothing bad with attending parties, it is what takes place at the parties that is appalling. Had there been just parties no one was going to raise an issue socially or morally about these teenage parties.

These house parties are characterised by wild sex orgies, reckless alcohol imbibing, smoking marijuana and stripping activities which were a known Western phenomenon but is permeating the African moral setup at an alarming and generation destruction rate.

This has bred questions on whether such parties should be allowed to destroy the strict African morals as well as the relevance of the church doctrines in moulding a morally responsible and dignified youthful generation that is God fearing.

The parties are usually hosted by teens whose parents live outside the country, and are able to freely engage in such activities unmonitored as most of them are pampered with niceties as parents try to cover up for their absence to show love through money and other gifts.

According to the youths, the vuzu parties are a common way of having fun. They say the parties were stress relievers after a long term at school adding that they were platforms to meet, communicate and get to know each other.

“The parties are just a common way of having fun with friends. We meet, share life experiences and get to know each other better,” said one teenager who only identified himself as Nox.

However, the boy’s description is totally different from what takes place at the vuzu house parties as regrettable scenes are the order of the day as the teenagers close their books and open their zippers and strip themselves of their clothes and dignity.

The parties often result in unwanted teenage pregnancies and STIs while others lose their lives while trying to terminate the pregnancies.

Sunday Life witnessed one of the parties in the leafy suburb of Burnside in Bulawayo. The scenes were scary and to suggest they were done by teenagers all of whom are school going is unthinkable.

The strong smell of alcoholic stuff and marijuana pervaded the serene night as both girls and boys were taking the illicit drugs. Before long they started going to the toilet in pairs while others could be seen in dark secluded places where they were enjoying the camouflage of the tree shades in the big yard.

The young girls were wearing tiny shorts that barely covered their bum-cheeks, tops that could only cover the lower part of their breasts, while the rest of their cleavages hung in the open. Occasionally the teenage boys would slap the girl’s butt and it seemed fashionable as the girls were smiling back instead of being furious at the amount of disrespect that was on display.

Appalling also were homosexuals scenes similar to the popular South African soapie Generations whose cast consists of the Senzos and Jasons that were unfolding right in front of everyone and the youths were not bothered.

Offers of alcohol and cigarettes kept pouring in, drinking competitions were done and some of the drinks,  according to a source, were mixed with an aphrodisiac, a concoction that is used to enhance sexual prowess.

Some girls passed out after having one too many and were lifted to bedrooms where boys took turns to have sex with them.

There was a weed cake, which was a must eat, distributed more like a wedding cake it reached all corners of the house and everyone had to eat the “brownies” that were served. It made the teens get even crazier.

Soon the teens took part in dance competitions and the winning squad was rewarded with more booze. They were playing spin the bottle and there were adhering to all the rules of the game kissing whoever and locking each other in dark bedrooms where many girls came out half dressed.

At around 1am only a few who could not manage to find hook-ups were still on the dance floor but the majority were in bedrooms while the yard and the rooms where the boozing was taking place had beer bottles and cans strew all over the place.

Even the kitchen and cars were turned into bedrooms.

“We do this during holidays and not every weekend, it is usually the first Saturday after schools close and the last Saturday before schools open. It’s very easy to organise, it’s just a matter of finding the right people, the venue that is usually provided by some of our colleagues, whose parents are not in the country, for a nominal fee and some few drinks. A lot of teenagers love partying and our meeting point is usually the Haddon and Sly area and the wild parties are usually done on weekends.

“Of course the parents are not made aware of what really transpires. Otherwise no parent would release their children. As for the police they sometimes pitch up while on patrol but they are not a problem. We know how to deal with them,” said one of the teenagers when asked how they go about it.

He added that usually the venue would be a closely guarded secret known only to a few while the majority would be told on the very day of the party as they would be worried of police raids.

Asked to explain their immoral behaviour, the teenager laughingly said it was part of growing up.

According to a blogger a lot of other night clubs were in the same business of hosting underage drinkers; working with youthful organisers who call themselves “clicks”. They invite fellow young people to come and party, pay entrance fees which the clicks pocket while the club benefits from alcohol sales.

Zyanyongana chronicles the life of the Tonga people residing in Binga and promotes the culture and priorities of the Binga inhabitants

Nkosilesisa Ncube, Sunday Life Reporter

JUST six months after announcing his retirement, arts veteran Cont Mhlanga has proved the age old saying that old habits die hard as he has taken up a new docudrama film project in Binga, Matabeleland North.

Mhlanga is working as the executive producer with a first time-cast and crew for the debut season of the 13 episode, thirty minute series Zyanyongana, which is Tonga for “It is chaotic”.

Scroll down to watch trailer

It is a film set in Binga and done for the Binga community by the people of Binga with the help of Mhlanga. The film chronicles the life of the Tonga people residing in Binga and promotes the culture and priorities of the Binga inhabitants.

The plot centres on the traditional rainmaking ceremony of the Tonga people and how the law and modernisation have affected and changed this and other such traditional practices.

The film’s production manager Elias Sibanda said the film is done in Tonga because of its cultural content.

“Culture is carried through language and because we are showcasing Tonga culture, we are using Tonga as a medium. For those who do not understand the language, we have included subtitles in Ndebele and Shona because most people in the country understand one or the other of these two,” said Sibanda.

The use of Tonga as a medium will also attract a regional market from the Tonga people residing in Zambia and Sibanda believes that this will promote and market Binga to regional tourists who are interested in community based cultural tourism.

The film is set in various areas around Binga, mainly Binga Centre for the modern, contemporary scenes and the villages for the traditional scenes. The scenes to look out for are the ones done at the famous hot springs of Binga which are fondly known by the Tonga as Chibbwa Tata.

Sibanda said the film cuts across all age groups and genders.

“Zyanyongana is for everyone. The younger people will likely be drawn to the modern day setting while the older, more nostalgic age groups will enjoy the traditional settings. It is something that the whole family can enjoy,” said Sibanda.

He said they had done the film in response to the first broadcast digitisation transmission site being erected in Binga.

“The first booster has been set up in Manjolo and it’s only fitting that we produce something locally. We need to provide the new content so that the world knows about the history, culture and geography of Binga,” said Sibanda.

He went on to say that the project was helping in manpower development within the area as the people involved in the film are receiving training while they film.

“Cont Mhlanga is offering us training while we work on the project. He is training everyone from the producers to the actors and this is something that most people go to university for but we are receiving it for free,” he said.

The first episode of Zyanyongana has been filmed and filming of the subsequent episodes will be done over the course of the year. Sibanda encouraged residents of Binga to embrace the project and participate in the project where they can as it open to them.

@nkocykay

Hi Sis Noe

I AM a woman aged 23. I am having a baby in a month’s time. The problem is that I have vaginal warts, is it safe to remove them in my condition? — Please help.

Reply

Genital warts are a result of a disease known as Human Papillomavirus (HPV). The majority of pregnant women with genital warts have healthy pregnancies and birthing experiences. However, genital warts can be transmitted both before and, possibly, during birth in women who have an active case of genital warts. Moreover, genital warts can hinder a woman’s ability to have a vaginal birth. It is not unusual for pregnant women to have genital warts so large that they block the birth canal making a vaginal birth impossible.

There is also the risk that the warts may begin to bleed as the baby passes through the birth canal. In some instances, it may be necessary for a woman to have a Caesarean section either if the warts completely block the birth canal or are at risk of bleeding excessively during birth. Having a c-section has not been known to reduce the risk of HPV transmission to a child, though. I hope that helps but go and see a doctor.

Hi Sis Noe

My live-in girlfriend of three years has gone wild. I don’t know her any more. She is now so sexually liberated ever since she returned from a year-long study in America. She wants us to have a threesome with my friend otherwise she will break up with me. Is she still worth it or I should dump her? — Worried.

Reply

If I was you I would dump this one. Not only is a threesome wrong, but the fact that she wants to have it with your friend before you have given her idea a blessing raises alarm bells. In fact it leads me to believe your relationship is more of a phase than you realise. There are no merits whatsoever in sharing your girlfriend with your friend. You didn’t sign up for a non-monogamous relationship, so for her to assume you would be willing to jump on board her newly spun idea is ridiculous. Really this is your girlfriend’s thinly veiled attempt at justifying the crush she has on your friend? And by giving the ultimatum, she is really saying, “I am in love with your friend, if you don’t like it go hang!” So take her up on the ultimatum and walk away. Don’t let details about her contact with your friend being “only physical but with you its love” slow you down.

You can have all clothes packed and in a moving truck faster than you can say “gonorrhoea”. And if these mutual friends are in fact friends, they’ll stick around. It’s jarring to watch the person you have loved for years suddenly launch an assault on your relationship, but trying to change the course of what is already in motion would be futile. It is obvious that she had plenty of threesomes in America without your consent (as if you would have given it anyway). You are better off without her.

Hi Sis Noe

I am 21 and seriously stressed as I am producing yellow pus. I have never had sex before, just oral sex. I am still a virgin, please help. — Worried.

Reply

Before addressing the matter of yellow vaginal discharge and its causes, first stop panicking, until the cause is determined.

The colour of it is no reason to panic. See a doctor and she or he will use the vaginal discharge to make an accurate diagnosis of what ails you. I urge you not to panic because women at some point will have a discharge, which is a secretion the vagina releases. There is absolutely nothing abnormal about this, however, if accompanied with pain, vaginal itching or burning then it’s not deemed normal and should be checked out. But you should know that it’s normal for the vagina to produce a clear to whitish discharge throughout the menstrual cycle. It can vary in consistency from thick and gooey to thin slimy or creamy. A normal discharge is odourless. If there is a nasty smell this could signify a problem.

The amount of vaginal fluid can greatly increase at times of stress and ovulation. If your discharge is deemed normal you can make it clear by drinking plenty of water and reducing your intake of beverages, tea and coffee. Cut down on sugar and sweet substances. If you drink alcohol or you misuse drugs then that could be the cause of the yellow discharge. Abstaining from all this helps and you should also know that oral sex is not safe, you are at risk as the person who indulges in sexual intercourse.

Oral sex can lead to oral herpes and it can also result in you having both strains of herpes in your mouth – the herpes of the sexual organs and oral herpes. Other STDs like chlamydia and gonorrhoea can also be passed during oral sex. While risk of HIV infection through oral sex is extremely low compared with unprotected penetrative sex, it is still dangerous. HIV-infected semen or vaginal fluid can enter through an open wound in the mouth. If I was you I would stop doing it.

Hi Sis Noe

Whenever I sleep with my husband I don’t enjoy the sex, instead I feel pain. What is wrong with me? — Worried.

Reply

Two-thirds of women sometimes experience pain during or after sexual intercourse. Although sex might not always lead to a climax for you, repeated painful episodes are not something you must endure. Intercourse-related discomfort, or dyspareunia, can have physical and emotional origins. Successful treatment depends on tackling the cause. Pain is not always located in the vagina itself: It can occur near the entrance to the vagina (the vulva) or deep inside the pelvis. Vaginal and pelvic conditions can both trigger physically induced pain from sex.

This pain can be caused by lack of lubrication; during arousal your vagina should produce natural lubrication that prepares them for male penetration. You should not have sex when you are dry because that will induce pain. If you recently gave your birth hormonal fluctuations are preventing sufficient lubrication from being created. This can also occur at various points during the normal menstrual cycle, and it can make sex painful. Go to a pharmacy near you and get water-based lubricants. If that’s not the case then you need to go for checkups maybe you have vaginal infections and as long as the infection is not treated you will continue to suffer.

If you are not infected then you should know that about 90% of intercourse-related discomforts have a physical cause, but emotions can be responsible, too. If it’s emotional then it’s known as vaginismus. It’s a contraction of the vaginal muscles, caused mainly by fear of being hurt. This spasm is often so painful that intercourse is impossible — sometimes for years. Some women with vaginismus have never been able to have full sex or even use tampons.

They also tend to be very fearful of vaginal examinations and so may never have had a smear test. Vaginismus arouses strong emotions, and women who have it are often very angry with partners, doctors and themselves. But the condition is no one’s fault. Common causes include a restrictive upbringing, in which the woman was brought up to view sex as nasty or dirty. An upbringing in which the woman was given the idea that the vagina is very narrow and so sex must be very painful, an uneasiness with their partner — perhaps at an unconscious level. A background where rape or childhood sexual abuse has taken place — experiences like these understandably make women fearful of sex and of being hurt. Tackle these and you will enjoy the joys of sex.

Steve Kekana

“TAKE Your Love” hitmaker South African gospel singer Steve Kekana allegedly told his wife Ntsiki to keep her love.

This was after he hit her in the face and refused to make love to her for a year. Kekana also allegedly moved out of their Jozi house after complaining that she roughly pushed him away in one of their bedroom sessions in 2014.

The partially blind veteran muso also allegedly cheated on her with three concubines, and even brought one of them into their home in Alberton, south of Joburg. The two had been embroiled in a bitter battle over the division of their estate since Ntsiki’s refusal to sign a proposed settlement agreement drafted by the artiste.

The estate war even nearly burst onto the public domain wwwhen Kekana prohibited Ntsiki from entering their Zebediela house in Limpopo and threatened to call police on her if she did not leave the premises. Asked for his account, Kekana declined to comment.

“My answer to all your questions is no comment,” Kekana said.

The startling tidbits were revealed by Ntsiki to Sunday Word last week. The distraught wife said Kekana had even subjected her to sex starvation.

“Whenever I touched him, he would roll over to the edge of the bed and sleep, saying he had a problem,” Ntsiki said.

“This happened for the whole of 2013. As a woman, I tolerated that hoping things would eventually be okay.”

She said the last straw was when Kekana sulked in the middle of their love-making in 2014.

“On that day, I drove him to a rehearsal and some people brought him back home. I later drove some of the visitors home.

When I returned, anyaka morogo (wanted to make love),” she said.

“When we were busy, he stopped and said, ‘Why ompusha?’ (why are you pushing me away?). To which I responded, ‘I didn’t push you, but maybe it’s because you spent the whole year without making love to me, and maybe we are supposed to communicate before we do this thing’.

“He then sulked and stopped. After a few days, he moved out of the house.”

Ntsiki said when Kekana left and told her he wanted out of their 25 years of marriage, she cried with disbelief.

“This is a man I lived with, despite him beating me up at our old house in Pimville, Soweto, a few days before my mother’s funeral. I had to bury my mother with a blue eye,” she said.

Detailing the incident, Ntsiki said an argument had erupted when she asked the singer to stop cheating on her in 1993.

“He accused me of not trusting him and beat me up.”

Ntsiki said Kekana was allegedly involved in extra-marital affairs with three nyatsis.

He had allegedly even brought one of them to their marital home under the pretext that she was his business associate.

“But I suspected there was something fishy because of the way they looked at and talked to each other.”

Ntsiki said the side dish later rented a crowd to heckle her when attending Kekana’s promotional gig in Ladysmith in about 1997.

“When we arrived at the venue, she was standing a few metres away from me with a crowd of women. She then started pointing at me and coaxed them to heckle me.”

She said she took a microphone from musician Babsy Mlangeni and wished Kekana a happy birthday.

“Little did I know this would anger him,” Ntsiki said.

“I asked him what was wrong with a wife wishing her husband a happy birthday publicly, but he blew his top. I then concluded there was something between them.”

She said Kekana also two-timed her in 1997 her with a woman from Umlazi in KwaZulu-Natal.

Ntsiki also counted a Spruitview woman among Kekana’s roll-ons.

“He told me he met this woman before he met me and they have a child together, but I discovered later that he continued to see her behind my back and even renovated her house behind my back.”

Ntsiki alleged Kekana was now abusing her financially, following their separation.

“We are married in community of property,” she said. — Sundayworld.co.za

Donna Ncube

Peter Matika, Senior Life Reporter
DONNA Nc could be the next personality to break into the local showbiz industry, as she made a rather exceptional debut in the industry with the track Wamuhle at the end of 2015.

A journalism graduate, model and singer, Donna is also a budding actress, who has featured in quite a number of films, with her biggest role being that of the Nama award winning Bulawayo urban legend movie — Jane the Ghost, where she starred as Jane.  She has even featured in theatre productions. Quite recently she has been performing at the Bulawayo Jam Sessions, which are fast growing popular.

Possessing an alluring and sultry voice that could subdue even the most enraged of beasts, Donna is undoubtedly headed for the stars.

Sunday Life senior reporter Peter Matika (PM) had a chat with the beautiful girl, who revealed that she was working on a soulful album, which she hoped to release soon.

PM: It’s a pleasure to meet you Donna; we have heard quite a lot about you as a rising star and have been following you on social media and at other events. Please be as kind as to familiarise the world with you.

Donna: My name is Donna Ncube warmly known by my stage name, Donna Nc, I am a creative that is harnessing the essence of the showbiz industry, where I am able to branch into music, film and theatre. I have so far released two songs, my debut being Wamuhle released in 2015 and it has a video now and the other track — Walking Away.

I have done quite a few films, short films, to mention one of note is by Invision Studios’ The Truth and as you may already know, I played the lead role for the movie Jane the Ghost, which won a national award.

PM: Quite the talent you possess there. Are you signed or affiliated to any stable?

Donna: I’m actually an independent artiste. I love being solo and being in control of myself.

The industry is a frustrating and heartbreaking one. I love to manage my things and I am very particular about how my stuff is handled. I am however, searching for people that I can connect with and perhaps if luck permits, forge relations and partnerships.

PM: Isn’t that a risky stance, being that you are still building your name in the industry? Doesn’t being affiliated to a stable or a group make it easy for you to then establish yourself then run solo?

Donna: The industry needs you to work and if indeed you know what you want and aim high you will accomplish your goals.

If you have a passion you will succeed.

PM: You are really passionate and ooze of so much zeal to make this happen for you. How would you then handle the pressures of the industry, given you are a woman and we all know that the industry is dominated by men? Would you bow down to the pressures to make it big?

Donna: I have my pride as a woman first and  I grew up in a very conservative background. I would never compromise myself just to satisfy anyone. I have all the support that I need from my family and friends. Of course the times, venues and some shows are not so comfortable but it’s the passion that drives me.

PM: What do you think of the industry in Bulawayo, arts and showbiz wise?

Donna: From my point of view Bulawayo needs to work hard to remain at the top.

And personally as a creative I plan on doing this not only for myself but for my city as well.

PM: Quite the interesting character you are, we hope and wish you well in your endeavour.

Donna Nc is a must lookout for in the industry, she possesses a talent that could leave even some established artistes green-eyed with envy and could leave arts and showbiz fanatics salivating in glee. She could be the next big star to emerge from the City of Kings.

Dj Sweeto

Bongani Ndlovu, Sunday Life Correspondent
STRIP Club DJ Sweeto (real name Walter Ncube) says he sometimes gets tempted by the seductive moves of strippers at Private Lounge Bulawayo.

Two months into his stint as a DJ at the joint, Sweeto says it takes serious discipline to watch strippers gyrate and go up and down poles and not feel tempted to touch.

Sunday Life Correspondent, Bongani Ndlovu (BN) visited Sweeto’s ‘‘workplace’’ and had a chat with the DJ.

BN: When did you venture into disc jockeying?

Sweeto: I started at the age of 15 when I was at Milton High School. I loved listening to music and used school desks to make beats. Each time there was a gig, I’d be invited to play there as colleagues appreciated my talent. After completing O-level studies, I started electronics apprenticeship at Falcon Electrical. From my interaction with popular DJ, Joe tha OG during my school days, he invited me one day to play at Khami Bar. Thereafter, management there approached me and offered me a slot.

From there, my career as a DJ started shaping up.

BN: How did you get the name Sweeto?

Sweeto: The name DJ Sweeto came from the sweets because I used to sell sweets at school. Those who didn’t know my name would call me Sweets or DJ, but the girls would call me Sweeto for reasons best known by them.

BN: What do your parents think about your career choice?

Sweeto: My parents did not support me in the beginning as they feared I’d fail to take care of myself. They suggested that I pursue the electrical engineering course. But now, they appreciate my job and support me in all that I do.

BN: Who taught you how to DJ?

Sweeto: DJ Prince Eskhosini in 2009. I’d tag along at the afternoon sessions at Crush. DJ Joe tha OG also taught me some tricks of the profession at Blue Magic, which is now Private Lounge.

BN: How does working with strippers feel like?

Sweeto: It’s amazing. But it’s important to know that I didn’t start working with strippers this year. I actually introduced this whole stripping thing about two years ago when I was working at the Metropolis club. However, strippers are ordinary people who are actually fun to work with, dramatic at times, but still lovely people.

BN: Does seeing naked women have an impact on you?

Sweeto: It’s always tempting seeing naked women on stage, but one always has to control themselves. It’s all about choices.

You have to know where you stand as a person and uphold your values and principles. You’d be interested to know that in all this, my parents don’t even know that I work in a strip club as they just know I’m a DJ.

BN: What are some of the cons of working at a strip club?

Sweeto: Besides the temptation from strippers and waitresses who throw themselves at you, it’s playing cat and mouse with the police. You never know what action they’ll take at what time.

BN: Are you in a relationship?

Sweeto: Yes, a very supportive one. She knows that I work here although she has her reservations. Sometimes we’ve misunderstandings but at least we get along very well so we always solve issues at the end of the day. It’s all about trust.

BN: Has she been to your workplace?

Sweeto: No.

BN: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Sweeto: My plan is to have purchased a huge PA system that I’ll hire out for use at national events. I also want brand Sweeto to be recognised internationally.

BN: What’s your advice to up-and-coming DJs?

DJ Sweeto: Don’t rush; take it easy, one step at a time. They must also attend as many gigs as they can to get exposure. They should also be creative and come up with unique concepts that people will love.

BN: Besides being a DJ what else do you do?

Sweeto: I’m a full time DJ.

BN: What’s your take on the local arts industry?

Sweeto: More work needs to be done as local artistes aren’t being appreciated, let alone paid for their worth. If they’re paid, then the industry will grow as the artistes will start producing quality artistic work.

BN: Who is your favourite musician in Zimbabwe?

Sweeto: I’ve many though I prefer Winky D, Khoi Khoi and Mzoe 7.

BN: What do you do during your spare time?

Sweeto: Besides spending time with family, especially my girlfriend, I assist Sungura Masters with their choreography. I’m also hard at work with Umkhathi Theatre works as we’re preparing for the forthcoming Intwasa Arts festival.

@bonganinkunzi

Sidumiso Tshuma

Joel Tsvakwi, Sunday Life Correspondent
ZIMBABWEAN fashion designer, Sidumiso Tshuma last week rocked Durban Fashion Fair with his famous brand, Shadow by Sidumiso.

The fashion exhibition which was held at the Durban Exhibition Centre in South Africa saw the talented Zimbabwean showcasing his knight-themed collection.

Tshuma, who is one of the two designers from Bulawayo, participated at the Durban Fashion Fair courtesy of the twinning relationship between Bulawayo and Ethekwini.

The twinning agreement for the two cities was signed in 2010 and Bulawayo has been participating in the annual Celebrate Durban since the signing of the Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) in 2002.

Tshuma, who showcased for the third time at the Durban Fashion Fair, was one of the favourite participants outside South Africa.

Having showcased last year, he was among a few designers that dressed idols. The Zimbabwean designer dressed South African Idol Judge/TV Personality/Choreographer — Somizi Mhlongo also known as Somgaga.

Tshuma who is also an alumnus of the local Intwasa Fashion Fair was invited to showcase along fellow countryman, Nkanyeziyethu Malunga. Both underwent intensive internship conducted by Hunnar Management Agency in collaboration with Edgars Stores.

In an interview, Tshuma said his designs were as result of a deeper subjective inner feeling.

“Working on the knight collection proved that I can do so much with the fabrics available. My collection is a mixture of woolen material, suiting, jacket material and some metallic in all shades of grey,” said Tshuma.

He added: “The collection represents a strong being and cuts through issues of colour by having the colours incorporated into different shades of grey. A knight is a strong person who pushes through no matter what, it just portrays how we as Zimbabweans and Africans, fight through life in our everyday struggles and beauties.”

In the previous years, the Durban Fashion Fair was mixed with collections being showcased by designers from across Africa.

However, in its five-year anniversary, the fashion fair introduced a separate first day for men’s wear only.

With a rise in men’s wear appreciation, collections were showcased by Tshuma and his Shadow by Sidumiso alongside South Africa’s Black Pepper, Afro Amanno, House of St Luke, Gravitie, Eullue, Nigeria’s Clemas, Ghana’s Abrantie, and many others.

The Durban Fashion Fair is one of the leading fashion events in Africa and it attracts the stature of internationally recognised fashion weeks. The fashion event was attended by thousands of fashion buyers, textile companies, fashionistas, media and industry players.

Barney Mupariwa

Rumbidzai Mbewe, Sunday Life Correspondent
EVERYONE deserves the chance to showcase their talent be it in prison or not. StarBrite has seen it fit to include people who are in prisons to audition for their talent search programme throughout the country.

In an interview, the executive director of the show, Barney Mupariwa said they have engaged some prisons in the country and so far they have done auditions in some of the prisons. He said StarBrite does not discriminate but accepts everyone.

“Our aim is to discover talent in this country and our doors are open to everyone who believes they have something to show.

There are many people in prison who have amazing talent and so if we don’t tap in there then they will not be discovered and that is wasted talent,” he said.

He said working with prisons was another way of providing rehabilitation and reform through talent discovery and nurturing.

“We can only achieve this goal by providing opportunities for the prison communities by making them participate and be involved in their rehabilitation and eventually find their way back into society through talent growth,” he said.

This year, things have changed for StarBrite as they have increased opportunities for people to take part in the show.

Mupariwa said they are now taking the StarBrite platform to the people by visiting different cities in the country so that they reach as many people as possible.

“Now people can register during the day of the auditions instead of registering or communicating through short message service (SMS). We realised that some people do not even watch ZTV or listen to Power FM so many people would miss out,” he said.

This year’s auditions started on 6 April and have been to cities such as Bulawayo, Harare, Kadoma and Kariba among others.

@rumbie_mbewe

Peter Matika, Senior Life Reporter
ONE of Bulawayo’s underground rappers Calvin Tatenda Nyamidzi, warmly known as Calvin Treazy has just released his first EP — Young and Getting it, which is likely to change the game in the industry.

Treazy, who eerily possesses striking similarities to American superstar and rapper Lil Wayne, completed work on the nine-track EP, which he just released last week.

The EP features award-winning Bulawayo rapper Cal_Vin and Maestro IV.

The 24-year-old Treazy said he started rapping in 2009 and hasn’t stopped since.

“This is my first official project. This is how I’m making my way into the mainstream rap scene. I have performed at a couple of shows and events such as Bigger Than Hip-hop and I have also been featured on ZTV’s YG programme,” he said.

Treazy said he started working on the EP last year.

“I hope people will appreciate this project, as I really worked hard on it. All I can say about it is that it’s unique and has a fresh taste. People are seeking uniqueness, something they can understand and relate with from experiences,” said Treazy.

He said rapping was a way of keeping out of trouble and also a platform to send a message to the youth.

“I’m trying hard to make my own sound, even though I do borrow my style from other rappers, to be precise my icon and favourite rapper Lil Wayne,” said Treazy.

On his resemblance to Lil Wayne, Treazy said he wasn’t seeking to ride on Lil Wayne’s crest but was yet to make his own name.

“My resemblance to him makes people want to listen to me, it sets the bars high but I will work hard to deliver the best rap.”

Treazy and Lil Wayne possess striking facial similarities. At first glance one might mistake Treazy with Lil Wayne. They are both pint-sized, wear dreadlocks, have tattoos and have the same fashion sense. We wouldn’t know about the habits and hobbies.

Treazy is part of a growing movement of local rappers seeking to make a breakthrough in the industry. Hopefully his nine-track EP, which Sunday Life had the honour to sample will be his ticket to being among Zimbabwe’s renowned rappers.

When Treazy jumps on a track, he brings certain uniqueness. Place him on a cut with fellow titans, and his personality shines through.

@peterkmatika

Peter Matika, Sunday Life Reporter
ZIMBABWEAN soccer legend Ronald ‘‘Gidiza’’ Sibanda’s disappearing ‘‘stunt’’ a fortnight ago has been a topical issue, which has now hilariously turned him into a victim of puns across all social platforms.

Gidiza’s stunt has literally turned into a whacky bar joke, and has even turned him into an internet meme.

The former Zimbabwe Saints, AmaZulu, Dynamos and Warriors’ star midfielder, has been memefied by trolls on the internet, after he told this paper last week that he had been celebrating his birthday and also attending to matters concerning his livelihood.

He said last week, “Besides this whole hullaballoo, it was my birthday on Monday and I had taken some time out to spoil myself . . . ”

Gidiza went “missing” on Sunday, 31 August, when he left his family home in New Lobengula for Barbourfields Stadium, saying he was going to watch the Highlanders and How Mine encounter.

He however, never made it for the derby, where he told this paper last week that he had urgent matters to attend to.

“I was sorting out issues to do with my life. This whole thing was blown out of proportion. As you can see I am alive and well. I don’t know why you people (media) did that,” he said.

Gidiza said he was also celebrating his 40th birthday last Monday and had taken some time out to pamper himself.

“Besides this whole hullaballoo, it was my birthday on Monday and I had taken some time out to spoil myself. I’m still surprised at how this whole thing has been reported. I was in touch with my family this whole time. You can even check with Econet,” said Gidiza.

Gidiza has since been hilariously nicknamed Ronald “Obedingwa” Sibanda by trolls.

@peterkmatika

Yoliswa Dube
THE most unique place in your house is, of course, your bedroom. After a stressful day at work, you ought to pamper yourself and retreat to a place, in which you can relax in a peaceful environment.

Therefore, when you feel that your bedroom is too tiny to unwind from any distress, it is time to re-organise, re-decorate and maximise its living space. Your bedroom must be as if all your dreams came true at once! If you are already creating possible changes in your mind, let’s have a look at some useful tips on how to make a relaxing, spacious sanctuary out of your boudoir.

Please be aware that any clutter on the bedside table and on the floor creates a messy look. Unwashed glasses, soda cans, litter and clothes scattered everywhere are a big no-no. You need to remove everything that disturbs your peace.

Afterwards, in a clean room, even the air smells fresh and lovely. Imagine how you gracefully spread out on you mattress, lay your head on the comfy pillows and retreat to your beautiful dream.

Nowadays, it is easy to customise a wardrobe that will fit ideally to your wall. You can choose the kind of wood you want and of course its size. Carpenters have some brilliant ideas.

The most space in your bedroom is taken up by the bed. Opt for the medium sized bed that allows you to put a bedside cabinet nearby. Sometimes there is a need to put a book or your reading glasses nearby.

More and more people tend to gaze numblessly into the ceiling. We need to create some colourful ideas, like a few extra dimensional bulbs in different colours. A pink or an orange bulb can make a difference.

A flat TV-screen mounted on the wall can be a brilliant idea. It won’t take any of that needed space and will definitely liven up your recreational time.

Dark colours in tiny spaces can be a drag! Look for beige, light shades of green, mauve or violets. Never again will you feel like you’re trapped in a cave.

You can spread the wings of your imagination. Put an extra rug or two on the floor. Lively ornaments will spice things up a little bit. A bold lamp and some vivid coloured cushions will make a big difference. — decorlove.com

Daniel Lasker

Nkosilesisa Ncube, Sunday Life Reporter
A 17-year-old Petra High School student from Bulawayo has become an overnight internet sensation, with his epic DC Comic super villain impersonation of The Joker, which he posted on YouTube last week.

The six minute clip had almost a thousand views by Thursday, since Daniel Lasker uploaded it to his channel.

His impersonation of the Joker, which was originally played by the late Hollywood actor Heath Ledger, is pretty good and could likely see him landing a role in the showbiz industry if he ever plans on taking that route.

Lasker told Sunday Life that the idea to impersonate one of television’s most iconic characters came to him when he watched Batman: The Dark Knight.

“About four weeks ago I was re-watching Batman : The Dark Knight, and when it got to one of the Joker’s scenes, just for fun I started mimicking him, as he spoke, and I noticed I could pull off a pretty decent Joker accent. I paused the movie and sent a voice note of me impersonating the Joker to a friend and then to my surprise he sent me a message saying that I actually sounded like the Joker.

“I then sent it to a few more people just to test the waters, and they were also all responding in the same way. I never actually planned on doing a Joker impression video, or ever thought I would act as him at all, I guess it just happened,” he said.

Lasker acknowledged his friends and family for supporting his unconventional newfound hobby.

“My friends think it was a really cool idea, and they very much enjoyed my whole impression. My mother was very supportive as usual, props to her for putting up with her son being a psychopath for a while. The rest of the family too, especially after I explained to them how as an aspiring actor, there will come times in my career when I have to act as the bad guy,” he said.

Lasker says everything about the Joker stands out to him and although the character has been played by different actors such as Cesar Romero (who was the first play the character), Jack Nicholson and much more recently, Jared Leto, Lasker identifies most with Heath Ledger’s version of the character.

“Heath Ledger takes top prize. He added so much originality to The Joker that none of the other actors came close to. It’s a great feat to be able to perform the original comic book Joker well, (which all the other actors did), but to be able to completely re-shape the character into a crazier, more dangerous version, in such a way that fans will be rejoicing over rather than be enraged by, is truly quite something,” said Lasker.

When asked if he perhaps feared being psychologically haunted by being so deeply immersed in such a dark and twisted character, as was the case with Heath Ledger and Jack Nicholson, Lasker said his processing of getting into the Joker character was not as severe as that of professional actors.

“Take Heath Ledger for example. Even most of the times off-set, he would remain in character; walking, talking and thinking like the Joker. He did this to instantly get into character whenever needed. Thankfully I never had to adopt most of these methods to pull off my character. He spent a lot more time preparing and staying in character than I did. Ultimately, everyone is different, and if it happened to those people, there’s no guarantee it will happen to me also, I think I can thankfully say I am in no way changed by my performance,” said Lasker.

Apart from playing a very convincing Joker, Lasker proves to be a talented young man with a passion for the arts.

He has been in at least 13 stage plays, which have landed him honourary awards with Allied Arts and other arts bodies. He serves as a vocalist for Backstreet Serenade, a two-man band which he started with his friend.  Lasker has also done promotional videos for his school, holiday camps as well as local businesses.

He said he had a new project coming up soon, “I am very blessed to be working with some amazing people on a very big project that everyone will be hearing about soon. I’m very excited about it, and I can’t wait for everyone to see it. It’s going to be the WOW factor!!! So keep your eyes open for it,” he said.

Lasker is available on social media as Daniel Lasker on Facebook and YouTube and as Daniellasker99 on Instagram.

@nkocykay

Hi Sis Noe

IS it true that you can get pregnant while on the pill and what are the chances of that happening? — Confused

Reply

Yes, you can get pregnant while on the pill. There are a number of reasons why a woman on birth control pills could become pregnant. The most common is that she neglects to take the pill on one or more days. Depending on how busy your lifestyle is or how frequently you renew your birth control pill prescription, it can be easy to forget to go to the drugstore and then delay starting a new package — while still being sexually active. Another mistake that women sometimes make is taking the pill at different times on different days. Birth control pills should be taken at the same time every day. It is admittedly inconvenient to have to take a pill every single day, always at about the same time — but this is essential to ensure that birth control pills work successfully to prevent pregnancy.

Also, birth control pills are sometimes affected by other medications. Certain antibiotics, anti-seizure and anti-fungal medications have been linked to reduced effectiveness in birth control pills, along with some herbs and vitamins. Before your physician prescribes any new medication, make sure to let her or him know that you are on the pill, to avoid any potential problems.

Hi Sis Noe

I am a lady aged 25 and I have been married for five years. the problem is I’m not interested in sex, each time we indulge in sex I feel annoyed and irritated. What do I do?  I love my husband. — Worried

Reply

You are suffering from female sexual dysfunction (FSD). No single problem is responsible for FSD. A recent article in the Journal of Urology defined FSD as including such varied troubles as a lack of sexual desire so great that it causes personal distress, an inability of the genitals to become adequately lubricated, difficulty in reaching orgasm even after sufficient stimulation and a persistent genital pain associated with intercourse. The problems of FSD are mostly emotional and medical.

The physical causes of FSD can range from having too little testosterone or oestrogen in the blood to severed nerves as a result of pelvic surgery to taking such medications as antihistamines or serotonin re-uptake inhibitors, such as Prozac and Zoloft.

See a doctor, he/she might fix the problem. The psychological factors can include sexual history issues, relationship problems and depression. If that is the case you need to see a counsellor or a sex therapist.

Hi Sis Noe

I am 23 years old and I have a problem of attracting old and married men and of course they are never serious because they have wives. I need to settle down, am I cursed or do I have bad luck? I don’t know what to do. — Please advise me

Reply

And you have a problem of giving in to their enticements. I am glad you realise that they will never be serious because of the commitments they have with their wives. It has nothing to do with being cursed or being in bad luck. It all boils down to an individual and how that person acts. If you act desperate you will attract charlatans whose only intent is to use and dump. If you are a collected person who patiently waits you will get what you want in the end.

At 23 I don’t see why you are so desperate to settle down, you are still young. Of course you are ripe for marriage but you are still in the early stages of your ripeness so stop acting like it’s the end of the world. Break up with the married men or man and get your act together. Stop dating for sometime. Redefine your image and fall in love with yourself before you fall in love with a man. The more you value yourself the less you will attract married men and the more good men will chase after you. You now know what to do.

Hi Sis Noe

I am 23 and I don’t have any breasts. What is wrong with me? — Help!

Reply

You have breasts, they just have not grown outward. Having a flat chest is not a pleasant thing but you should know that it does not make you any less a woman. You still have got your pubic hair and you menstruate normally and your breasts have milk glands. Unfortunately experts like doctors and lactation consultants don’t really know why this takes place. It is known that flat-chested women’s hormone levels are normal and they can successfully breastfeed. A flat breast only represents a problem in the connective tissue inside the breast and not in the actual duct system of the breast that lets out milk. But no matter what the cause, it won’t hurt to eat healthy so as to give your body the best chance for everything to work properly. You might find out that when you get pregnant your breasts will grow out.

During pregnancy the breasts do develop more and grow in size, and flat-chested women can breastfeed and produce milk.

But you should not get pregnant for the sake of having grown breasts. A totally flat woman’s breasts can grow to an A or even B cup during pregnancy and while breastfeeding. However, due to the small storage space for milk the baby might need to nurse quite often. But what you must remember is that a flat-chested woman is not abnormal in the sense that her breasts are functional and can make milk. You are also not abnormal in the sense that there are many other women out there with a flat chest. If you are concerned about outside appearance use padded bras, no one will notice that you are flat-chested unless they know you.

Hi Sis Noe

Since my wife gave birth having sex has become difficult. Every time I want to make love to her says she is tired, she is not in the mood. What should I do? —Worried

Reply

It’s very common for couples to find having a baby seems to spell the end of a passionate sex life, but help is available.

Hormonal changes after childbirth may be responsible for short-lived baby blues, and can also play a part in causing longer-lasting depression, very often associated with loss of interest in sex. Another physical cause for loss of interest in sex can be exhaustion. Giving birth and looking after a small baby is extremely tiring. It’s very common for mothers to find they don’t sleep more than four hours without interruption for months on end. It can also feel overwhelming. You need to assist your wife in taking care of the baby and doing house chores.

Learn to be understanding and let her heal and trust me, you will soon be enjoying full-blown sex again. Don’t put pressure on her because that will create a problem. It helps if you both realise that it’s only a short-lived difficulty, because if one or both of you takes it to be a serious lasting problem, that will makes you worry, and the worry in itself will make it a long-term problem. It’s a vicious circle.

Nkosilesisa Ncube, Sunday Life Reporter
IT is down to eleven contestants vying for Black Opal’s Face of Zimbabwe (Bofoz) finale, which will be held in the capital on Saturday.

Representing Bulawayo are two girls, Mazvita Chakawa (23) and Zoey Mpofu (19), who spoke to Sunday Life about how they felt about the competition.

Chakawa, a former Eveline Girls High School student who has just completed her first degree in Biochemistry with a first class at the University of Zimbabwe, said her ultimate goal was to be a successful commercial model.

“I aspire to be a reputable commercial model and to establish a forensic laboratory in Zimbabwe. I love taking pictures a lot and that has inspired my dream of becoming a commercial model. I believe in the power of a dream,” she said.

Mpofu, an ambitious young lady with a strong conviction for achieving her goals, completed her A-level studies at Dominican Convent last year and wants to pursue a degree in Business Management and Hospitality.

In accordance with the Bofoz the tagline, “Define your beauty”, the two have interesting definitions of their beauty.

“Qualifying to be part of the 11 finalists really means a lot. It is like a dream come true really because it is the first time I have actually done something towards achieving my childhood dream of becoming a commercial model. Being a Bofoz finalist has opened so many doors for me and because of that most agencies have started taking me seriously. It has become easier for me to walk into a room with influencial and respectable people to tell my story without being judged based on gender, age, background, race or educational achievements,” Chakawa said.

Mpofu said although the journey had not been a simple one, she was grateful to have made it this far.

“The journey has not been easy but all the time, effort and sacrifices have been worth it. It means the world to me and I am so grateful. I have made unforgettable memories and I have had colourful experiences. My self-esteem and confidence have had a major boost and I have gained new friends that are worth more than the sacrifices I have made,” she said.

The Bofoz finale will be held at Harare’s Glamis Arena where Jamaican music sensation Romain Virgo, Jah Prayzah and Soul Jah Love will be part of the line-up.

The public can vote for their favourite contestants via SMS until voting closes on 13 September. Details of voting procedure are available on the Black Opal Cosmetics Zimbabwe website and Facebook pages.

@nkocykay