FORMER Big Brother Africa (BBA) housemate Pokello Nare has launched her shoe line — Pokello Pink Bottoms in Botswana.

The shoe line was launched at Materialgirlz, an up-market store in Phakalane last Saturday.

Storeowner, Charity Baaitse said she decided to have Pokello’s shoe line because of its uniqueness. She said Pink Bottoms shoes were now the ‘‘in thing’’ and are a must-have for every girl/woman.

“Pink Bottoms shoes have become quite popular, they’ve become a must have in every girl’s wardrobe,” Baaitse said.

“The question would now be, why Pokello’s Pink Bottoms. Well, she’s a force to reckon with, almost every woman in Africa adores her and her style.

“Plus the shoes are really comfortable and affordable. She’s put a lot of hard work and sweat in her brand and we only wanted to be associated with such,” Baaitse said.

Three international shoe designers, namely Sophia Webster, Sergio Rossi and Christian Louboutin inspired the shoe line. The shoes are going at P1 690 per pair.

Notably the shoes were named after fellow Big Brother housemates including Botswana’s representative Motamma with the shoe line MotammaMalt. Others include Tanzania’s Feza called Kessymint and Namibia’s Dillish — DilishgoldDust.

About the store, Materialgirlz, Baaitse said that she offers a wide range of fashion garments, which cater for both the plus size women, expecting mothers as well as for the young funky girls.

“There is a corner for every single woman here, whether you are a plus size, expecting or the corporate look, there is everything for everyone,” she said.

The store is located at the Mowana Park in Phakalane.

Earlier this year, Pokello launched her shoes in Zambia. Fashion Latte is the official distributor there. — Mmegi

Ms Universe 2016 1st Princess Tracey-Anne Buckley Agget with an unidentified man

Peter Matika, Senior Life Reporter
BULAWAYO-born Zimbabwean model was last weekend crowned 1st Princess at the Mrs Universe 2016 grand finale, which was held in China.

Tracey-Anne Buckley Agget, who hails from the City of Kings, not only did the city proud but the country, as she was crowned 1st princess at the glamorous Mrs Universe 2016 beauty pageant held in China’s Guangzhou.

Tracey-Anne is a creative visionary, ambitious entrepreneur, motivational speaker and gentle soul.

The motive of the Mrs Universe is to crown a woman who pursues purpose, a woman who is down-to-earth, and a loyal friend with a generous spirit, someone with a heart for the downtrodden and beautiful.

In a statement, Mrs Universe Zimbabwe director, Patience Lusengo said she was pleased with the outcome and wished the best for Tracey-Anne.

“It is not about the crown. This beauty queen has her priorities straight and is determined to beat the cliché by truly demonstrating what it means to turn a crown into a platform.

“Her sincere desire is to be a voice for those who are unable to plea their plight — in particular, women who are victims of domestic abuse and children in need. Tracey’s personal battle to fall pregnant and the loss of two children before carrying to full term has also opened her heart to women struggling with similar problems,” said Lusengo.

Tracey-Anne Buckley Agget has earned many titles since she first won a fishing competition at the age of six: Some of her achievements are; finalist for the International Pageant Mrs Universe representing Zimbabwe, 2016, Mrs KwaZulu Natal, 2011, 2nd Princess for Miss Garden Route, Miss Personality, Miss Charity,  Certificate of Leadership and Directorship,  Certificate within Communication and Public Speaking.

Her qualifications are; fashion styling/image consultancy, make-up artistry, fashion design and fashion merchandise and retail management. She has spent years working within the beauty and fashion industry and is also a sportsperson.

Through her title of 1st Princess Tracey has the opportunity to launch this programme internationally through the numerous channels at the disposal of the Mrs Universe organisation.

The Mrs Universe Pageant is an International Affair, which opens up many doors worldwide, networking with companies and Individuals throughout the world. The Top 5 winners were crowned and announced on the evening of 5 September 2016. The 11 days in China covered a lot of media presence and conferencing. Each contestant fought for their country and their chosen causes.

CHEATING is one of the most painful landmines that a couple can stumble upon.

A child being the result of cheating can exacerbate the betrayal.

How do you cope with the reality of your partner having a child out of wedlock?

While most people think that they would simply pack their bags and bid farewell to the relationship, the truth is that it is easier said than done.

This is the exact situation that *Margaret found herself in last year, after five years of marriage.

“There was a period when my husband and I went through a separation, which lasted for about six months. No marriage is perfect, and we had decided to take a much-needed break at the time. During that period, we kept in constant communication, especially because of our twin two-year-old boys.

“Eventually when we got back together, we reconnected like never before, and things were really looking up. We were on the same page and were going to make things work. I was really happy.”

But Margaret’s world came crashing down one night when her husband sat her down to discuss a phone call he had just received.

“He told me that he had been unfaithful during our time of separation. Not only that, but that the girl he had slept with had called to say she is pregnant, and he is the father.

“My knees felt weak. I broke down in tears. Not only did I have to digest the fact that he had slept with someone else, but she was now carrying his baby! He told me how the girl had meant nothing to him, but for me it just made the situation worse.”
Margaret says the next few months were hazy for her.

“I decided to swallow the bitter pill and not allow this to tear us apart. But it was pure hell.

“I remember the time he left to see the baby after she was born. I felt sick to my stomach. It just felt like a happy family moment that I was excluded from. I felt like I was the one with the ring, and no other woman had a right to experience those moments with him. Then came the rituals he had to perform for the baby.

“All the while, I felt like an outsider looking in. It felt like a family portrait, and I was not welcome to be a part of it.

“And the fact that this woman now has a lifelong bond with my husband is a daily struggle. It hurts me so badly, and although I want my marriage to work, I don’t know if I can bring myself to fully accept this child.”

Psychologist Mampho Mofokeng says that coming to terms with a child conceived out of cheating is understandably very difficult and painful to accept.

“Cheating in itself is terrible for any relationship, but a child conceived out of it can be like a picture taken of the cheating, and hung on the wall.

“This child is a living, breathing reminder of the betrayal your spouse put you through. It is definitely a very painful reminder of the partner’s infidelity.

“Having said that, it is a bit of a catch-22 situation because we are dealing with an innocent soul who in no way solicited any of the cheating and betrayal, and did not have a choice of how they were brought into this life.

“So, directing all of one’s anger and resentment towards the child is, if you really look at it, totally unfair,” she says.
Mofokeng says that the most important thing to do immediately after learning of the situation is to make a critical decision.

“When you learn of your partner’s indiscretion and that a child was the direct consequence of it, you need to decide if your marriage or relationship is going to survive this, meaning that you will need to forgive them, as well as come to terms with the situation, or if you simply cannot handle it and want out.

“There is nothing wrong with walking away from a cheating spouse. You have every right to. But if you do decide to stay, you will need every inch of your willpower to salvage your relationship, and commit fully to cleaning up the mess, even if it takes you a lifetime.” — Sowetan

Michelle Gonah

Robin Muchetu, Senior Gender Reporter
SHE was labelled a “home wrecker” in the media after her relationship with a local married socialite went public as she was accused of being the reason behind the man’s divorce but she has put all the negativity surrounding the incident behind her and is now focusing on a new venture where she is flying in the South African skies as a trainee pilot.
Michelle Gonah, a former model in Zimbabwe is now training to be a pilot in South Africa following her stint in the modelling industry. She was crowned Miss G-Tide Face of Zimbabwe in 2010.

Sunday News spoke to Gonah from her South African base on her new career.

“Firstly, I really struggled opening up. I feel so different about being in the public eye since my modelling days. I realised the reason I got into modelling in the first place was so as to be a role model to others. So thanks so much for the opportunity you have given me to talk about myself once more, maybe other girls can read my story and feel inspired to want to do better for themselves,” she said.

On what pushed her to take up aviation, the beauty queen said she did not really have an exact push factor but found herself there.

“I can’t pinpoint any exact moment when I fell in love with aviation and airplanes. I have just always known I was destined for something a little different from the norm.

“We live in a time where social issues and subjects circling around gender equality and female empowerment are at the fore front of every conversation,” said Gonah.

She said she feels privileged to be a young black female at a time where business, corporates and formerly male only industries are opening up to women.

Gonah has a degree in Political Science from the University of Pretoria but still has the urge to go a little further.

“After graduating from the University of Pretoria with a degree in Political Science I knew I had gained a lot of theoretical knowledge which will forever be an asset to me but I’ve mostly always been more interested in skills-based training. It took me almost a year to wrap my head around my fascination with aviation and to realise it was the industry I wanted to be in and now that I’m training in it I realise I’m in the best place ever,” she said.

Gonah started training in January this year. The next stage, she said, was to qualify for her private pilot licence then start working towards a commercial pilot licence.

She added that there was no set timeframe to complete the training but it was entirely based on one’s funding but one gets 18 months to complete all examinations with a pass mark of at least 75 percent.

Gonah said both the theoretical and practical aspect of pilot training were challenging in ways she had never thought possible.

“Pilot training has challenged me to aim for the best and I feel I’m in my personal best to date. I’m both motivated and focused. I’m still in the process of deciding exactly what type of a career I would like to pursue within the aviation industry, be it as a commercial pilot or as I studied international relations, become an air force aid and relief pilot,” she said.

Gonah said her family had been supportive from the very beginning and said she was extremely grateful for both the positive affirmation and the financial support.

“My parents raised us in a way that makes us extremely headstrong and determined. It came as no surprise to them when I told them what my plans were.

“I appreciate the support from them, moreso because it didn’t intimidate them to know I would be entering a male-dominated industry in that they have never treated me any different from my brother who is a Chartered Accountant and so I have never had an inferiority complex,” she added.

Asked on her future plans she said she was enjoying studying in South Africa which has really become somewhat of a home to her over the years.

However, she said whatever qualifications she would gain, she felt a strong responsibility to bring back home to Zimbabwe that expertise.

“I am adamant about the potential growth of African airlines and would be very proud to join the flight deck crew of any one of them someday. As it stands my focus revolves primarily around my studies. I remain forever grateful for the exposure of being 1st Princess Miss Bulawayo 2009 and the first ever Miss G-Tide Face of Zimbabwe in 2010.

“However, I have not modelled in any form since then. It would take either an extremely irresistible contract or a cause I find extremely worthy to make me get back in front of a camera or on the ramp,” she said.

Gonah said she was excited to be living the days she prayed for as a child.

“I encourage all girls to stand up and be counted in all our respective industries. Dreams do come true when we work towards them, I continue to strive to make myself, my family and my nation proud,” she said.

Vincent Gono , Features Editor
WITH more than 40 albums to his name and still not tired, he is one of the veteran musicians who can be put in the same league of pre-independence surviving musicians such as Oliver Mtukudzi and Thomas Mapfumo.
His name — Jonah Moyo is however, probably forgotten, much so because he is no longer as prolific as he was then and perhaps because he has done little to avoid sinking into oblivion in the competitive industry where time and irrelevancy has retired some.

To the new music generation the name Jonah Moyo doesn’t ring a bell at all but he is one of the revered sons of Zimbabwean music whose name remains etched in the minds of the older generation who synonymise it with long time hits such as Solo na Mutsai, Barbra and many other songs that were chart toppers.

Having started his music career at the age of 20 in 1977, he has no doubt seen it all and says he is content with what he has amassed over the years through music.

Sunday Life (SL) interviewed the 59-year-old veteran musician Jonah Moyo (JM) from his South African base. Excerpts of the interview are below.

SL: Where are you based now and are you still into music? If so are there any new productions?

JM: I am based in Thohoyandou and yes, I am still much into music. Music is my life. I was born a musician, I sleep, eat, and drink music. I will be releasing my latest offering this month if all goes well Vol. 39.

SL: How many albums have you done to date and can you point out something tangible that you say is from the proceeds of your music career?

JM: I have more than 40 albums to date. I am very proud of what I have achieved in music. When I left home for South Africa my main goal was to take all my children to university level because l didn’t get that chance. I am happy to say that I achieved my goal and I can now walk with my shoulders high because education is the best thing to give to children.

SL: Did you remarry after your wife passed on and how many wives and children do you have altogether.

JM: I have four children — Shepherd who plays bass for me in my band who has an Arts degree and also works as a studio sound engineer here, Cresencia who has a BCom in Accounting degree from the University of Limpopo, Jonah Jnr who has two degrees; one in Acturial Science and another in Teaching from Wits University and Jareth the last born who is in Turkey at Istanbul University doing a degree in Computer Engineering and is in his final year. The boy is brilliant and was the best student after getting distinctions on all his subjects at A-level.

Now this is what I call my most decorated achievements in my life and my career as a musician. I feel content having achieved this feat and the rest is history.

I am still a widower. I lost my wife in 2008 to cancer and I haven’t remarried. I also have a house in the leafy Rhodene suburb in Masvingo where I will stay when I plan to come back home in the near future.

SL: You are born from a respected artistic family. Did you inherit arts genes from your parents and what are some other siblings doing apart from Aaron Chiundura Moyo?

JM: I have another elder brother besides Aaron who started music before me and his name was Joshua. He started his music career playing lead guitar for Thomas Mapfumo. He is now late. At one time when I left Mashava he joined my band playing the rhythm guitar. We travelled around the world together. He left when he decided to start his own band. We are a very big family and my other siblings are scattered all over the place. I think we inherited the artistic genes from my father who was an accordion and a renowned story teller where Aaron inherited his art from as well.

SL: You are known to have songs in other languages other than Shona. Are you the composer and are you multi-lingual?

JM: I am the composer of all my albums from the first one. I write in different languages. When I am not familiar with the language I look for someone who can translate for me. Mostly I sing in Venda, Shangani, Zulu, Shona and sometimes English.

Busie Mtshede

CHEATERS cheat and that’s it. Cheating is not about boredom or dissatisfaction; I really do not think there is any justification to cheating. I personally think it is a wishful fantasy that just sends someone on an insatiable mission. I can just leave it at that cheating is the result of a character flaw that allows a person to justify cheating and break vows or promises they would have made to their partners.

Affairs are not normal, healthy reactions to uncommon relationship struggles and the opposite is true, they are just unhealthy reactions to the trials and tribulations common to most relationships from time to time. There is no right or wrong way of cheating and in as much as we hate it, it happens. However, in most cases those that cheat hate being cheated on and they are often broken when they are served a taste of their own dish; I guess it is only human.

It is easy to break the rules or even change them if the result favours you but when it all turns around we are often knocked off the ground and I guess it is the same with cheating, when one is doing it they are selfish and do not think of the person they are hurting but when they in turn get cheated on they get heart broken and it hurts.

This week our topic is about a man who cheated on his wife and is dealing with a heartbreak from his cheating mistress.

I am not even going to pretend to be brave because I am actually totally broken and I give up, I do not want to feel like this anymore. I cannot even forgive myself for putting my wife through this pain even though she has never known about my affair. I know most people reading this will find this wrong and judge me harshly, but I really do not care and I am ready for the labels, all I need right now is to let this out.

I have been married for years now, well I got married really young at 21. Over the years my marriage has always been pretty solid, though we do not have any children and have no plans nor desire to have any. We have a lot going on in our lives and we both have troubled childhoods so children have never been an issue in our marriage — it is a subject we have never had much time for.

The one thing my marriage always lacked was passion, it has never really been there and I always feel all we do is out of duty and respect. My wife is a wonderful woman, but not very passionate, pretty boring actually and I can say she does not even really know how to have fun believe me; I have tried to bring some fun into our marriage but she is uptight and has a way of always killing my efforts.

A colleague and I began flirting a bit through email when I had to email her some work stuff and then it escalated and we exchanged numbers, we got along so well and never run out of things to say.

There was just an instant connection and our conversations were something to look forward to and before we knew it we were having an affair. We did not just jump into bed right away and I think that is what made it worse, the chemistry was too much and I knew it was not lust.

Then after some time it began with a kiss, then another and that led to other things but before all this we had spent three months together just chatting and getting to know each other. We waited for months before we actually got to the next level but when we did I can safely say it was the best I have ever had.

We were so in sync, we resonated so well and the passion in everything was just amazing. Well, our affair went on for a few months, it escalated and we were on drugs around each other, the spark was just too much and I could not hide it as everyone around me noticed I was in high spirits all the time.

We spoke everyday and we would spend the whole day conversing through email and we would see each other everyday at lunch time and talk on the phone all the way home. We actually began to have quite the relationship.

We continued seeing each other and of course emotions started to develop and the chemistry we had was undeniable and the passion was incredible. I mean I had never felt with anyone like I felt when I was with her.

After a while she started dropping hints and then finally confessed that she had fallen in love with me. I was already in love with her; I just did not want to admit it (to her or myself). She was all I could think about all the time and I actually began to dislike weekends with my wife as I would look forward to Mondays because that is when I would get to see her.

I could not wait to get to the office. She never once asked me to leave my wife for her but I was considering it because she made me complete and I was alive when I was with her but she was fine just having me part of the time so we kept it that way.

A year into our affair I got the feeling things were a little different. I cannot really explain it, but we were not communicating as much and she was becoming distant, I blamed myself and began to give her more weekends and constantly got into trouble at home but it was all worth it.

We kept seeing each other, and I really felt bad for her, because I knew she loved me but could not be with me all the time. I felt so guilty, I hated it when she would get sad thinking about us and what we would never be. Things were changing for me too but in a good way because I was falling more and more in love with her to the point where I would spend a weekend with my wife and I would feel guilty.

I wanted desperately to be with this woman. I think I can honestly say she is the love of my life.She was the first thing I would think of when I wake up, even before I would open my eyes and the last thing on my mind as I drifted off to sleep.

I would wake up in the middle of the night to check my phone in hope of having a message from her. I began to realise that I really did not want to be without her. I was madly and deeply in love.

Then she really became distant and would make excuses for not communicating and all of a sudden was okay with not spending the weekend with me. I knew something was wrong and I could feel it but I just did not want to admit it. I asked her countless times if she was seeing someone but she would deny it and look into my eyes and convince me I was the one for her.

I tried to see her more but she would have a very good excuse. One Saturday morning just before Valentine’s Day I managed to get some time to myself and was shopping around for gifts when I spotted her being ushered into a shop by some man.

I quickly followed them and started sizing the man and finally got courage to start a conversation. I am not one to make a scene so just to find out if they were an item I started our conversation by suggesting the shop had a lot of nice stuff and if she was considering buying her “Mrs” a Valentine’s gift and that led us to a conversation as she had conveniently gone to the changing room to try out an outfit.

Then I remember asking more questions and ending the conversation by asking if he would treat her to a getaway weekend just to get information and to which he answered “yeah, actually a weekend in Victoria Falls will be perfect”. My heart just sank and I was defeated and so I walked out and let them be.

I figured this man was the reason behind her dodgy calls and her lack of communication. I confronted her and she could not deny it. I was angry because I feel she ruined my life. I no longer really love my wife like I should and she ruined the relationship we had.

Even if I could forgive her for lying to me I could never trust her. She has done something that no one had ever done and that is she broke my heart. Actually she destroyed it! Now I sit here and wonder, was everything between us a lie? How long has she been playing me and why? Why did she keep me on that hook like that and why not just leave, let me go? I cannot understand it and I am so hurt, I feel like such a fool, an old fool! I guess it is what I deserve and the worst part is that I still do love her.

Getting through a breakup is as much a physical process as an emotional one. Remember that, and know that it will get easier. Keep going. You will get there someday and in the meantime continue to share your heartbreaking stories with us.

Email heartsonfire909@gmail.com

Yoliswa Dube
WATER features can be used both indoors and outdoors to refresh home designs. The beauty and grace of flowing water, along with its ability to induce calm and relaxation, are the most important reasons we’re drawn to artful displays of H2O. Water is fundamental to us, the way the light plays over its surface, its unique sound, and its continuous fluid movement engages our senses and puts us at ease.
We all enjoy the sound of river water flowing down the rocks. And why can’t we listen to this relaxing sound from our homes?

Installing a water fountain can reap rewards both physically and mentally. They can help improve your sleep and allow you to wake up more rested. It’s a good idea to add a fountain in your home or office to help you relax after a long working day.

A water fountain can become the focal point for an entire room. They are available in many different shapes and sizes. When choosing one, pay attention mainly to the size of the room. Large, open spaces do better with floor fountains. If the room is small, think about a fountain to mount on the wall. Whatever the case — make sure the fountain fits into the allotted space without taking over the room.

Some fountains are formed to look like figures of people or animals. We all know for example the famous bronze sculpture in Brussels, depicting a naked boy urinating into a fountain’s basin. Mythical, religious or historical figures, wild animals and small children are all popular water-spouting themes.

Getting an aquarium is also a good idea. It has been proven that watching the movement of fish can have an incredible effect on our health. Just a couple of minutes watching fish swim helps regulate blood pressure. An aquarium can be a beautiful addition to the home.

But make sure you take good care of your aquarium. Remember to change the water regularly and clean it as well. Make sure the room is warm and has enough light.

Avoid brightly coloured, mechanical and light-up decorations that can be quite costly and would not be found in a natural fish habitat. And probably the most important rule — it’s recommended to build the aquarium around chosen fish species and not the other way round.

There is something inherently appealing and attractive about ponds.

A well-designed pond can turn your outdoor space into a vacation-like retreat. —decorlove.com

Hi Sis Noe
WHEN I have sex with my girlfriend the condom always slips out or stays in her vagina. Is it because my penis is small or am I doing something wrong? — Worried.

Reply
A condom that continuously slips can be frustrating, especially if it keeps killing the mood. Fortunately there are a few things you can troubleshoot to get to the root of the problem. Condom slippage can be caused by a few different factors including condom size (length and width), lubrication, and usage. First off, next time you put on a condom you might want to check the fit. Is the condom snug around the shaft of the penis? Did you roll the condom down all of the way? Is there extra latex hanging or bunched up? They don’t call it a “love glove” for nothing; the condom should not slide around on you while you are sliding in and out of your girlfriend, so make it sure it fits like a glove. Keep in mind that brands and styles of condoms are varied. Perhaps sampling a few to see which ones provide a better fit may be helpful, and fun. Another thing if your girlfriend is using a contraceptive like Depo, it’s possible that vaginal dryness, commonly experienced by women on Depo, could cause a pulling effect on the condom as you and your partner are moving back and forth, to and fro. If this is the case, more lubrication could be required. Another thing to consider is your position during sex. Have you noticed that the condom escapes only when you and your partner are in certain positions? If you are on your back when you make love, for example, would the condom be less likely to come off? Trying a number of positions to see what keeps the condom in place may not only help you diagnose the problem; it could spice up your routine as well. Condoms are made to fit tightly on an erect penis, so another thing to check is whether you are keeping your erection during sex. Erections can come and go which is PERFECTLY NORMAL, by the way; if this is the case, the condom may loosen its grip and slip off. A smaller-sized condom may be appropriate so that you don’t slip out during a lull in erection. Saying and doing things that will maintain arousal during sex may also help in this situation.

Hi Sis Noe
I went to a party and ended up having sex with a woman I have had a crush on for a long time. The problem is that since that day I have not seen her. I think it now seems like all I wanted is sex but the truth is that I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. What can I do? — Worried.

Reply
I am really impressed that you are worried about this, but to be honest I think the problem may be that you have not contacted her. I am not sure why you have not at least called her to say, “Thanks for a great night,” or something like that. So why don’t you do that and ask her out again? Then on that date you can say that you felt bad and I think she will be really pleased, and perhaps you can start over. I am a firm believer of getting to know someone before leaping into bed so see if you can have the self-control to do this from now on. Do not sleep with her until you know what and who she is.

Hi Sis Noe
We got married a month ago. My wife was a virgin and I am proud of that. I thought that our first night together was going to be glorious but the opposite happened. Our honeymoon was a nightmare; she complained that sex was painful. Now she has no desire to have sex. Each time we try to have sex she complains that it’s painful. — Help.

Reply
I am sorry the bliss you expected has not occurred, that is very unfortunate. But know that it’s a common occurrence for some women that if first time sex is an agony their bodies will shut down and their desire for sex will plummet. I believe that your wife was eager to have sex with you before you got married, when you were kissing, cuddling, maybe touching, you heightened her desire for the real thing. When the day arrived maybe you rushed things, you did not spend much time on foreplay. But all is not lost, you can start all over again. Agree that you won’t have full sex until your wife feels ready, but you will do all the things you used to enjoy in your courting days — and maybe a bit more. Kiss, cuddle, touch — explore all the ways you give each other sexual pleasure and satisfaction without having intercourse. I think your wife’s sex drive will return once she is reassured that getting sexy with you won’t involve her having to risk a painful repeat performance of intercourse. In time, when she feels ready, you can start trying intercourse again, but with her initially on top so she feels safe and in control.

Hi Sis Noe
I am 16 dating a 26-year-old guy, I love him because he is caring and loving but the problem now is that my mother does not like him — she says she does not like him as he is not my type but I had promised to marry him. — Frustrated.

Reply
You are too young to be talking about marriage. Seriously, you are too young and most likely you love him for the wrong reasons. You are 16, he is 26, and I can guarantee you that with time you will grow out of the relationship whether you wish to admit it or not. The circumstance of immediately agreeing to a marriage suspiciously sound like it is driven by irrational emotion rather than thoughtful planning and rationality. Spend your early teens exploring relationships and gaining a better understanding of yourself and others, not marrying that pothead. You deserve more than that, don’t you? It is through experiences with a variety of different people that you gather a better understanding of who is in fact the right person for you, not trying to morph one of your first relationships into what you want — which will most likely end in frustration. At 16, the last thing that should be on your mind is wedding bells. Can’t you just enjoy playing the field until you find the right one? This one sounds way too awkward, one sided and you are working too hard for it to be a two-way thing. Your taste in men, perspective on life, and many other things will change dramatically; say even five years from now. So do you really think a guy you pick when you are 16 is going to be one you would pick if you did it all again at 24? I don’t think so. He may also use your age difference as a tool to help his self esteem which may have been battered in whatever the hell happened to him. Since you are younger, he may feel more empowered to do things, such as, blaming you, or using it as a means to justify getting angry easily and so on. Also ask yourself, “Why isn’t he going out with someone his own age?” This is generalising, but there is usually a reason behind it. You really have no idea if he loves you or not. It may be romantic talking about how you want to care for him and be there for him but it all wears off very quickly when you realise you made a blunder. On this one I have to go with your mother, be very careful about this relationship and look at it for what it is.

Nkosilesisa Ncube, Sunday Life Reporter
I RECENTLY turned 21 and while I enjoyed basking in the attention of all the birthday messages, I could not help but feel as though I had entered a new phase of life, leaving the best years behind me.
In retrospect, the first quarter of my life has been average, having done some of the things I set out to do, but leaving most of my bucket list unchecked.

It’s too late for me now but to those that are yet to turn 21, here is a list of things to do before then.

1. Have a plan

Not a “what are we doing tonight plan”, but a life plan. At this stage you should know what you want to do with the rest of your life. It does not have to be a foolproof plan; it just has to be a blueprint for what you expect to do in future.

2. Get a driver’s licence

Granted, this is easier said than done, but having a driver’s licence is more than just being able to drive around town. It’s also a symbol of independence, once you have your licence, you do not have to depend on anyone else to get you places.

3. Tour the country

Understandably, at below 21, touring an entire country may not be affordable but there are many places to see. Visit the history museum, the railway museum, the gallery and even the city dams.

4. Make a bold fashion statement

Remember that time you saw that girl in bright green braids and everyone turned to stare. Silently you judged her for being an attention seeker, but secretly admired her for pulling that off. Turn the tide, be that person who turns heads with a bold fashion statement.

5. Fall hopelessly in love

This does not have to be forever or with “The One”. It just has to be for a reasonable amount of time with someone you share a genuine emotional and intellectual connection with.

6. Make amends

Your teen years were the most drama filled and you made the most enemies in that time. Before you turn 21, take time to end all the unnecessary feuds you started in your teen years, it is one great step towards being an adult.

7. Read a book

Because everyone is so busy reading Twitter feeds, no one remembers how to read an actual book. Go to a library or download an eBook of Harry Potter or the Divergent series . . . something to keep the mind busy.

8. Play an instrument

We can’t all be rock stars but we can at least try. So take time to learn to play something as simple as the triangle or a traditional drum.

9. Learn a new language

It’s not as hard as it seems. It just comes down to the amount of work you are willing to put in. Besides they have videos on

YouTube on how to learn a new language in a week.

10. Make your artistic debut

We’re all good at at least one artistic thing. Whatever it is, make a public display of it. Showcase your art to the public; you will be surprised to find out how much they like it.

11. Go out more

Going out does not mean being out late at night every night, although that works for some people. This is more about stepping out of your comfort zones, meeting new people and learning new things from them.

12. Take a risk

It could be as daring as bungee jumping or as subtle as writing an open letter to someone who really deserves it, anything that gives you an adrenalin rush.

13. Do charity work

There is a misconception that charity work involves giving away tones of money — it doesn’t. You can give your time to do chores around either a children’s or old people’s home.

14. Make a lifelong financial investment

It would be nice to be able to buy something as huge as a car but you are only 20 at most and probably cannot afford it so opt for opening a savings account instead, which in the long run will help you buy that car.

15. Get the body you want

When it comes to this, to each is own. Some want to lose weight, others want to put on a few more kilograms and others want muscles for days. Whatever your preference, do what has to be done to get the body you want.

16. Learn basic chores

You will be moving out of the nest in the next few years and it would be nice if you knew how to fix a few things around the house. Unclogging a sink, changing a bulb and changing a car tyre are basic “Do It Yourself” skills that everyone should possess.

17. Be part of a bridal team

Or be the ring bearer or the candle lighter, whatever duty, however, small you play in making someone’s wedding come true is one of the best things you can do for them. Who knows? They might want to help too when you also eventually decide to have your big day.

18. Get a piercing or a tattoo

This will remind you when you are older of a time when you were young, wild and free. It will be a testimony of your youth engraved on your body.

19. Watch your favourite sport live

Don’t you want to be there in person the next time Highlanders shreds Dynamos to pieces? Go to the stadium, witness the action live and be able to say, “I was there”.

20. Have an exotic meal

You could go all out and try fried tarantula or you could keep it simple by trying something like madhumbe, a food indigenous to the people of Chipinge.

21. Prepare a video for your future self

It will be great to watch the video someday and look back and see the person you were when you were younger. – @nkocykay

Rutendo Chidawanyika

Summer is here and the ladies are loving it. Some call it spring which is still fine but you have an idea what time it is, time to unleash the fashionista inside. Goodbye to the boots, coats, turtle necks; hello to short summer dresses in all the bright and bold patterns you can think of. Summer fashion is easier to pull off as compared to winter fashion.

There is no reason not to be excited about summer fashion, we look forward to seeing what people in the streets are rocking. Fashionistas will almost always get it right, but for those who need an extra push this summer: Top 5 summer things to own:

1 Mirrored sunglasses

These are sunglasses with a reflective optical coating, it makes the lenses to appear like small mirrors on the outside. The mirror coating decreases the amount of light passing through the tinted lens, making them useful in conditions of sand, water and sun. Mirrored sunglasses are fashionable and the cool thing about them is you look fly while still protecting your eyes from light.

Mirrored sunglasses make the eyes feel more comfortable especially when participating in outdoor activities. Summer can get extremely hot and some people’s eyes react to the sun therefore these sunglasses are ideal.

2 Platform sandals

Platform sandals are super cool. The white platform sandal has been trending in the the streets. Platforms are easy to wear, especially when you want to look chic without wearing high heels. There are different types of platform sandals, so do pick a pair that you are comfortable with. When picking out your platform shoes, make sure the platforms are not too narrow at the soles, so that you can wear them without hurting your feet.

Any outfit can be paired with platforms, white skin tight top, rose pleated skirt then add ankle strapped open toe platform sandal. You can always make it fun by wearing shorts or a short summer dress. Midi skirts and platforms always look awesome together, particularly during the summer. This look will make your legs look longer and the body slimmer. So many looks to mention; but bottom line is PLATFORM SANDALS rock and are in this summer.

3 Jumpsuits

Jumpsuits have been trending for a few years now, but the fashion of jumpsuits keeps on being modified and they keep getting better. When you have a busy day ahead and need to get dressed fast, it’s easy to prioritise comfort above style. A jumpsuit does both. Jumpsuits can be worn to sophisticated events depending on the material used, satin and lace fabrics with embellishments of rhinestones will make more sense for a night event. During the day a denim style jumpsuit will look gorge (those are trendy).

This summer it’s all about bold patterns, so if you want to wear your printed jumpsuit you will still look great. On some days give the bright colours a rest, go for a black and white jumpsuit. Keeping everything black and white makes you looks classy and gives you the opportunity to glam up your make up. You can even opt for a panelled jumpsuit if you please.

It will always depend on the occasion, but with a jumpsuit you are guaranteed comfort and slayage at the same time.

4. Shorts

Shorts are what summer is all about. On a weekend what better way to relax than go shopping in shorts; have a picnic in shorts; go for a braai in shorts. Shorts are such a big trend that western designers are increasingly making women’s trendy shorts into business suits. There are very elegant and stylish when completed with a jacket or blouse. Fashionable shorts can be worn with almost any top, whether t-shirt, crop top, or fringed.

It’s all about the different kinds of shorts, free cut, tight fitting shape, ultra shorts and long shorts almost to the knee. Be it jeans or cargos, as long as they are short. We look forward to faded denim shorts and ripped ones too this summer.

5 Rocking a shirt dress

Shirt dresses can be worn for a casual, chic or even elegant look. This is how to rock it.
n Accessorise — you can do so much with a shirt dress, from sneakers, caps or sandals to pointed heels and a big bag. It is easy to accessorise but do not overdo it, a figure belt and gladiators look good too. Shirt dresses are fantastic because they are effortlessly simplistic.

n Keep it light — cotton and denim are great for a casual look while silks and chiffons are a little more dressed up. Do try some bold patterned shirt dresses.

n Fit depends on your figure — if you are curvy, it’s most flattering to wear a nicely tailored shirt dress, possibly even belted. If you have a long and lean physique then a straighter boxier cut is a fun and fresh take on the style.

n The right height — anywhere from mid-thigh to just above the knee is ideal. When it becomes too short it looks like you forgot your pants — any longer and it’s a nightdress from the 80s. If you want to pair the shirt dress with leggings make sure it is above mid-thigh and should fall under the bum.

This summer we look forward to bright colours and bold prints. Have fun with fashion, slay every day, it is summer after all.

That’s what’s HAUTE!!!

Email : rutendochidawanyika3@gmail.com

Peter Matika, Senior Life Reporter
A ZIMBABWE Republic Police officer, who was caught on camera allegedly taking a bribe about a fortnight ago, has since been arrested, after the video went viral on social media.
National police spokesperson Senior Assistant Commissioner Charity Charamba confirmed the development, but refused to divulge further information about the case.

“He has been arrested already, thanks to responsible citizens who gave us the video. We are yet to ascertain further details of the case,” she said.

Senior Assistant Commissioner Charamba encouraged the public to report corrupt elements in the force to the police, so as to weed out corruption.

“We encourage the public to assist us in weeding out such corrupt elements. However, we don’t approve of people offering police officers bribes. Once we ascertain the origins of the video we hope to find the culprits, as they too have a case to answer.

The public should also try and avoid putting police officers in complicated predicaments such as these,” she said.

Watch video…

In the eight-second-long video, the police officer is seen taking an undisclosed amount of money from the suspects, who are not shown in the video. The video is believed to have been taken in Bulawayo.

The driver of the vehicle is heard telling the officer to buy a drink, after he hands him the money.

“Tenga drink . . . tenga drink,” he says before driving away. — @peterkmatika

Beauty Chikonye, Fungai Mawada and Ruvarangu Tichareva

Rumbidzai Mbewe, Sunday Life Correspondent
Zvishavane’s first radio station – YaFm celebrates its first year in the broadcasting industry this month.
As part of their celebrations, they have declared September as their month and lined up a wide range of activities from business seminars, to concerts.

And they have every reason to go to town with their celebrations as they are one of the few stations which managed to start broadcasting well before the Broadcasting Authority of Zimbabwe deadline.

However, the journey has not been rosy for YaFm as they like any other business, faced challenges along the way. One of them was baboons which gave them a good run for their money after they chewed transmission cables. While the station went off air for about an hour on the day the incident occurred, the station is now going strong and taking each day as it comes.

Last week, our correspondent, Rumbidzai Mbewe joined the celebrations in Zvishavane where she had an opportunity to watch the crew at work. Impressively, women, most from Bulawayo, are running the show there.

Below are interviews with some of the station’s top personalities:

Fungai Mawada

Popularly known as Fufu, Fungai Mawada hosts Fufu’s Diary and Chollar Bag during weekdays.

Rumbidzai Mbewe (RM): Who is Fufu?

Fufu: Fungai Mawada is a presenter at YaFM who doubles up as a model. I’m from Bulawayo, but my mother comes from Zvishavane, something which is made it easy for me to relate with people here.

RM: Tell us about your broadcasting career.

Fufu: It all started when I was searching for a degree programme. I was bit confused because I initially wanted to study Psychology. When I got to college, I discovered I was more interested in Media Studies as I enjoyed the limelight because of modelling. I ended up applying for Media Studies and was accepted. Modelling helped me gain confidence, something that has helped in terms of presenting here.

RM: What programmes do you present on radio?

Fufu: Fufu’s Diary is a show that tackles issues that affect women and girls, encouraging and motivating them. Most girls are discriminated because of their gender so through this programme. I challenge them to see the world in a different light. The other one, Chollar Bag comes from the Chollar Bag used by artisanal miners – it carries everything that they need when they are underground. So this show is centred on wellness be it the mind, body and soul.

RM: How are people responding to your programmes?

Fufu: People seem to love them because their interesting and different.

RM: How has your journey been with YaFM so far?

Fufu: It’s been exciting, challenging and empowering. The major challenge has been breaking into a market which has never been exposed to its radio – a place where people rarely ever hear about themselves. Coming from a city like Bulawayo, I thought I knew it all, but when I came here, I realised I knew nothing. I’ve learnt a lot from this town.

RM: Are you still into modelling?

Fufu: The station is taking up most of my time, but when I’m free I do model. However, I no longer take part in beauty pageants as my focus is now on photographic modelling which I enjoy.

RM: Are you in a relationship?
Fufu: (laughs) I’m single. I’m focusing on my career for now, but if Christiano Ronaldo reads this article, he should come knocking on my door. Everyone knows I have a crush on him.

Ruvarangu Tichareva

Another lady from Bulawayo rocking Zvishavane’s airwaves is Ruvarangu Tichareva (RT).

RM: Tell me about yourself?

RT: I’m a 20 something lady who grew up in Bulawayo. I went to Thekwane high School where I constantly got teased because I wanted to study media. People kept discouraging me including my family but look where I am today, I made history by being one of the first presenters at YaFM.

RM: How did you land at YaFM?

RT: I heard the station was conducting auditions and decided to try my luck. They invited me to the station to host a show with Gogo Beau as an anchor. I guess I impressed as I now host my own programme – Late night show during the week. On Sunday it’s called the Calm down.

RM: Tell me more about the Late Night/Calm Down show.

RT: This is a unique platform as people send us messages they would love to tell people but will be shy to do so, so we do it for them. They give us numbers and we call the recipients live on radio and pass the message. Some of them yell at us when we call them, but that is what makes the show even more interesting. People of Zvishavane love it, especially adults.

RM: How do you handle people who shout at you on radio?

RT: I laugh it off all the time and tell them to relax because it’s all about having fun, that’s radio’s core business. I always separate my personal life from work so no matter what kind of mood I’m in, I’m constant when I’m on air, you can never tell that I’ll be low sometimes.

RM: How has it been working with YaFm?

RT: It’s been eye opening. There’re so many things I’ve learnt such as handling people and dealing with criticism. It’s never easy accepting the truth, but you have to deal with it. I’ve also come to appreciate that as a presenter, not everyone loves you.

RM: Do you use scripts for your show?

RT: At first, I used to have scripts, but now I just flow as people can tell when it’s scripted and they don’t like it. I love radio more than television because I can always come to work in my pyjamas or morning shoes and actually tell people that’s what I’m wearing, no pressure.

RM: How are your relations with colleagues at work?

RT: We fight sometimes but the fact that we’ve been together for a year tells you that we are blending well. There’s no perfect relationship out there.

RM: What can listeners expect from you in years to come?

RT: I’m not going anywhere. I’ll still be here and hopefully as YaFm grows. I noticed that there’re so many talented people in Zimbabwe, but they lack opportunities. My vision is to open an academy of arts.

RM: Are you in a relationship?

RT: I’m single. However, many people think I’m married because when I talk about marriage on air, they feel like I’ll be talking from experience, not knowing that I just closely follow people’s marriages, including my parents.

RM: Word of advice to females who are inspired by you.

RT: I noticed that there’re so many female artists who are talented but stop singing when they get married. Never give up your dreams for a man ladies.
Gogo Beau

You will be amazed why they call her Gogo Beau (real name Beauty Chikonye because when you see her, she is not old. She is the lady behind the popular Fun Cargo show. She is the most celebrated DJ in Zvishavane currently.

RM: Who is Gogo Beau?

Gogo Beau: I had my first child when I was 16 years old, something I regretted doing. I regret because if I had completed school, maybe I would have been owning a radio station because I’m very good at talking. But, I have two kids and I’m not married. My husband was shot in Botswana in 2006 and I decided not to get married again. I am in a relationship though, who knows, maybe I’ll get married again.

RM: How did you get the name Gogo Beau?

Gogo Beau: Since my name is Beauty, Beau is short for Beauty. People at the station decided to call me gogo because I’m the oldest at the station and I give them advise, hence Gogo Beau.

RM: What programme do you host on YaFm?

Gogo Beau: Fun Cargo. But before that, I used to do Chollar Bag with Shamiso and it was quite popular. After some time, the station’s management decided to introduce a new show and they suggested that I do it as they wanted a person from Zvishavane. This was the birth of Fun Cargo. The show has been on air for a month and it’s already a hit. Fun Cargo is the car used to transport people in this town and that’s where all the hot gossip emanates from as well. The programme also gives people the hook of Zvishavane’s movers and shakers.

RM: How have the people of Zvishavane responded to YaFm?

Gogo Beau: People in Great Dyke have been lagging behind for a long time. There are people in the rural areas who did not have anything to listen to or to entertain themselves with. YaFm has given hope to these people and our focus is on giving them news so they are abreast with current affairs. Soccer lovers are now able to get results as the come on the station.

RM: How has your experience at the station been?

Gogo Beau: The journey has been very rewarding as I’m exposed to experienced people in the industry and I’m learning new things with each passing day. I cannot walk past a bin without anyone talking to me as I’m now kind of like a celebrity.

RM: What do you do during your spare time?

Gogo Beau: I love my alcohol. When I’m free, I like imbibing from my green bottle. Besides drinking, I love sleeping so if I’m not drinking, I’m sleeping. When I sleep, no matter how hard you knock the door, I won’t open up because I don’t like being disturbed during that period. Since I’m from the ghetto, I enjoy spending time with people from the neighbourhood.

@rumbie_mbewe

Lorraine Maphala-Phiri

Rumbidzai Mbewe, Sunday Life Correspondent
BARELY six months after her hair studio opened shop, she has already started receiving recognition in the business sector.

She has also made a big breakthrough following her husband’s footsteps in the world of business.

Lorraine Maphala-Phiri has been nominated Female Entrepreneur of the Year 2016 at the Megafest Business Awards Southern Region. The former model-cum-mother said it feels phenomenal being recognised in such circles because it shows that she is making a mark in the business sector.

“It feels great considering it’s barely six months since we opened our hair studio. Last year when I was nominated for Model of the Year I was ecstatic because I haven’t been in the industry for over 10 years . . . and I said on my post that my next nomination after that will be Businesswoman of the Year and BOOM!!!!! I have been nominated,” she said.

Lorraine said her business is steadily growing considering that she started selling hair products from the boot of her vehicle.

She said competition in the hair industry has kept her and her team on their toes and they are making sure that they are always a step ahead opf others.

“We are unique from most people in the hair business because we are a brand. We do more than just sell the hair but we educate our clients on the different types of hair and how to take care of it,” she said.

She said most of their clients call them ‘‘the hair doctors’’ because they provide solutions to hair problems using the best professional products. Lorraine said it was more than just figures for them but were concerned about the customer’s satisfaction.

“We also believe most women buy (hair) with their eyes first hence our hair packaging comes with free hair care tips. We offer a five-star treatment to all our clients and our staff is our biggest asset as they have been trained by a celebrity hair stylist,” she said.

The confident mother of two said she has always known that she will end up a businesswoman, but she didn’t know what kind of business she would venture into. Her advice to other women in business is that they should learn to invest and never entertain negativity.

“When I got the opportunity to sell hair, I fell in love with the hair industry and here I am today making my fellow women look pretty. I advise my fellow women in business to never stop learning about your chosen industry as it gives you an advantage over others,” she said.

Besides the hair studio at Zonk’ izizwe Shopping Mall, Lorraine has just started running a mentoring programme for the girl child.

The Megafest awards will be held on 8 October this year.

@rumbie_mbewe

Rutendo Chidawanyika

THE whole purpose of underwear is to be able to feel comfortable and confident. The underwear industry has come up with innovations and new technology in making underwear in order for you to choose whichever style makes you feel most confident.

Reasons for wearing underwear may vary from woman to woman, one of the reasons being for modesty. Without any underwear on most people would have wardrobe malfunctions and this may cause your privates to go on display. To avoid such scenarios it is advisable to wear underwear.

Hygiene is perhaps the most important reason as to why we wear underwear. Hygiene and comfort may be valid reasons, however, feeling and looking sexy is THE reason why we choose the underwear we choose. You cannot have one type of panties as different attires and occasions call for a variety of panties.

Types of underwear every woman needs

High waist
High-waisted underwear have been trending in recent fashion shows all over international runways. Most noticeably the retro silhouette which sits higher than standard briefs at the natural waist. High-waisted panties look like classic briefs, they give a full coverage across the behind and front for easy comfort.

These days high-waisted underwear is often an international fashion statement. It’s a great style to wear especially for layering it under a sheer lace dress or skirt. The silhouette works well on garments that look best with smooth lines underneath.

Bikinis
These days the term bikini is pretty vague and can mean a lot of things. The bikini style of underwear is middle ground between thongs and briefs. Typically slim on the sides and with just enough on the behind to offer some coverage, a bikini is not only very sexy, but a great option for a less visible finish.

Boyshorts
As far as underwear goes, boyshorts are one of the modest options. They may be modelled after men’s briefs, however, they perfectly frame the buttocks, with full sides and front, but a thong style base. Not only are boyshorts comfortable, depending on the fabric and fit, boyshorts can usually serve the same functions as thongs under clothing. The covered silhouette can often be worn with form fitting clothes, especially layered beneath short skirts on a windy days.

Briefs
Briefs can be absolutely gorgeous and unless you are trying to hide panty lines, they are great every day. Briefs are similar to bikinis, but they offer a more traditional cut and extra coverage, more of a straight cut leg versus a high cut on the hip. Some may refer to these as granny panties, but the improvements on them in recent trends is amazing.

G-strings
G-strings and regular thongs are not the same thing. And no, they are not interchangeable terms in the lingerie world.

G-strings are sometimes called V-strings, they are the sexiest of skimpy underwear choices. However, G-strings are not for everyone, some feel most comfortable in them and some not so.

Thongs
These are similar to G-strings but thongs are slightly thicker on the band, with little coverage on the front
and back triangles. It’s considered by some that thongs are more comfortable than G-strings. Thongs are widely regarded as a preventive measure for visible panty lines. Most women are afraid of panty lines and just default to a thong.

Have fun while choosing underwear, get different types, shapes, styles and colours. Be comfortable and wear them with confidence. Do not wear underwear that is too tight, it is unflattering and can also promote chaffing on skin and vaginal irritation.

When choosing material, make sure the crotch is ALWAYS lined with cotton. Cotton fabric is breathable that is why it is recommended, only wear silk and synthetic underwear during special occasions. Silk and synthetic increase the risk of moisture being trapped and retained, which can result in yeast infection.

Get some trendy underwear . . .

Email : rutendochidawanyiks3@gmail.com

Boss Kedha

Sunday Life Reporter
Comedian Rolland Lunga who acts as Boss Kedha in popular online comedy series P.O Box survived a horrific car crash along the Bulawayo-Harare road, a few kilometres from Shangani last Saturday.

The comedian who was admitted at Mpilo hospital sustained injuries.

He narrated the ordeal on his Facebook page.

“What started as a midnight (Saturday into Sunday) drive to Harare in a moment became the beginning of the biggest transition of my life. Some kilometers after Shangani, my life was almost cut short.

“Waking up to a pull of blood, I crawled out the car with no traffic whatsoever in sight. The highway was dark and no houses nearby. It was just two friends confused and seeking help,” posted Kedha.

Sadly, a bus stopped at the incident and Kedha thought they had come to rescue him, but alas, they wanted to take pictures.

“A bus full of people approached and stopped. About five men dropped off and we thought help had come. I learnt an important life lesson as all they asked was what happened and took a few selfies before rushing back into the bus the moment driver hooted.

“I was left lying by the roadside with my friend shocked with minor scratches.

I couldn’t lift my right hand and the car was really damaged. At that moment, death seemed way closer than I’d ever imagined as I felt my body weakening,” said Kedha.

The comedian said he took time to reminisce about all the things he could have done, in the event that he died.

“I thought about all the things I should’ve done with my life that I never did. I even thought of the orange muffins my pregnant sister had baked in the afternoon that I hadn’t tasted. It seemed like the end.”

Eventually, a bread delivery truck came to the rescue, gave the comedian and his friends a ride before calling for an ambulance.

“The ambulance took us to Mpilo hospital where I arrived unconscious. After they cleaned me up, I heard the doctor saying they couldn’t do anything to my tongue which had been shredded into three when I bit myself because of the impact of the accident. Fortunately, an older doctor stitched my tongue.”

BlackLilly

Nkosilesisa Ncube, Sunday Life Reporter
At only 22, she has asserted herself as one of the most vocal poets in Bulawayo. Better known by her stage name, BlackLilly, Fungai Mombeshora is a lot more laid back, more down to earth person than her on stage persona. Sunday Life caught up with the poet.

Sunday Life (SL): Who is BlackLilly? And is there a difference between BlackLilly and Fungai?

BlackLilly (BL): I chose the stage name BlackLilly because to me it juxtaposes my two personalities.

Lilly stands for the more tolerant side of me that can put up with anything while Black stands for the side of me.

There is a difference between BlackLilly and Fungai. BlackLilly is a poet. She is strength, she is fire. She is the depiction of a black woman. The depiction of a Zimbabwean woman. BlackLilly is the feminist in me, the truth that I tell.

BlackLilly stands for everything that Fungai does not say out loud. BlackLilly is a voice and Fungai is just a 22-year-old lady. She is a sister, a daughter and a friend. She is just a girl trying to get educated and employed.

SL: What inspires your work?

BL: Everything around me inspires me. My personal experiences, my friends’ experiences, movies, music . . . just everything I come across inspires me.

SL: When did you know you had a voice as strong as yours is?

BL: I guess I have always known. I just was not in a good enough space to let it out. I have known since I was a little girl that I was born to make a difference. Where I am right now is just the beginning of something great, there is more to conquer, learn and embrace.

SL: Some people have referred to you as the angry poet . . . what’s your take on that?

BL: I used to have a problem with people calling me angry because for me it is more about the passion.

I cannot be talking about certain things and be all smiles, I speak the truth and if the truth at that moment is anger then I speak anger. I am more about the truth, I do not like to sugarcoat things or pretend.

SL: What’s been the highlight of your journey as a poet?

BL: I do not have one highlight but every single time I am on stage, it is a new experience.

A whole new lesson, a whole new journey. Every time I win a poetry slam, it feels new. Every relationship that I build with my audience is a highlight.

SL: What is it like doing something that was previously male dominated, are you a feminist?

BL: It does not matter much to me that men used to dominate this field. I am a rule breaker. I am doing what I have to do regardless of who did it first. I am definitely a feminist. Like Maya Angelou said, “I would be stupid not to be on my own side”.

I am not a radical feminist though.

I am rational. I am not one to conform to society but I am not all about discord either. Feminism has now become more about crushing men, but I am not about that.

SL: Your Instagram (stalker alert) says that you’re a singer-songwriter; can you shed more light on that?

BL: I was a singer-songwriter before I became a poet, and that is something a lot of people do not know about me.

I was a Zim Talent Hunt finalist, and I have won quite a number of local and regional small-scale music competitions.

BlackLilly will be competing in the Intwasa poetry slam on Saturday ( 1 October) at the National Art Gallery. — @Nkocykay

Hi Sis Noe
I AM 21 years old and I lost my virginity last month and I have been bleeding ever since. What is wrong with me? — Help.

Reply
You should see a health care practitioner for any abnormal vaginal bleeding. It is not always necessary to go to a hospital emergency department for this problem. An office visit to a gynaecologist (a doctor who specialises in female reproductive organs) is sufficient if you are only bleeding without any other symptoms. Make sure that the bleeding is coming from the vagina and is not from the rectum or in the urine. You can insert a tampon into your vagina to confirm that the source of your bleeding is coming from the area of your vagina, cervix, and uterus. Keep track of the number of pads or tampons you use so that you and your doctor can determine the amount of your bleeding.

Hi Sis Noe
My penis is always oozing semen even when I am not having sex. — Stressed

Reply
The condition you are experiencing is called spermatorrhea, wherein the sperm leaks out without any ejaculation. This may happen due to many reasons such as a powerful sexual urge. This may also happen if your hormones are at a peak. I suggest you to go for semen check-up with your doctor. On the other hand it might be semen leakage, a sexual disorder found in men. Seminal leakage is caused by weakening of the parasympathetic nervous system. This eventually makes maintaining erection a problem. The problem leads to side effects such as fatigue, back pain, hair loss, weak erection, premature ejaculation, testicular pain and cramps in the pelvic cavity. You should know that the problem usually arises from the habit of over masturbation. Are you an excessive masturbator? If you are then you need to stop; that will go a long way in helping you over seminal leakage. Masturbation, if practiced regularly, stimulates the acetylcholine or parasympathetic nervous functions. Stimulation when taken to a greater level can cause over production of sex hormones and neuro-transmitters like acetylcholine, dopamine and serotonin. A larger secretion of these hormones and neuro-transmitters causes the brain and adrenal glands to perform excessive dopamine-nor epinephrine-epinephrine conversion. This makes the functioning of brain and body to be extremely sympathetic. The chemistry of body changes to a greater extent with excessive masturbation, leading to problems like seminal leakage. One of the important steps for overcoming the problem of seminal leakage is to get rid of or to effectively reduce the masturbation habit and ejaculation frequency. Intake of more proteins in the form of soya bean products must be increased. It is also important to reduce the amount of caffeine in the diet. Consumption of nutty foods like sunflower seeds, peanuts, sea food, vegetables and seaweeds must be enhanced, whereas red meat and dairy products must be minimised. More juices and water must be consumed. This kind of diet supports a more firm and engorged erection, which last longer. The prostate and testicles feel more alert and energised.

Hi Sis Noe
I have stretch marks on my hips, upper arms and on my bums. The problem is that the stretch marks are itching and some of them are darkening. Please help me find a remedy to reduce the itching. — Worried.
Reply
Stretch marks are caused when skin changes shape too quickly through processes such as weight gain, weight loss, or pregnancy. This sudden change causes a tear in the middle layer of your skin, the dermis. The collagen and elastin fibres in the dermis rupture and you end up with “underground” scars that look like stripes on the affected area. The sooner you treat them, the better your chances of removing them, but that does not mean you are out of options if you have had your stretch marks for years. When stretch marks first appear, they’re generally a darker colour: Deep purple, red or even brown. After a period of time, the stretch marks will turn white or translucent. Once it reaches this later stage, it becomes a lot harder to treat. Hydration and nutrition are two key things to keep your eyes on when you are treating stretch marks. Most people live their lives in a state of mild dehydration without realising it. If you are not drinking at least eight glasses of water per day, you are probably dehydrated. Your skin will be dryer, which makes it harder for stretch marks to disappear. The second key is giving your body the nutrients it needs to repair the stretch marks, without adding fat to the body which will stretch the skin and worsen the stretch marks. Add more fruits and vegetables to your diet. Stop eating unhealthy foods like pizza or microwave dinners, and especially stop drinking sodas and eating artificial foods like chips or candy. Massage your skin four to five times a day, using either wheat germ oil, cocoa butter or Vitamin C oils. These all provide nutritional benefits to your skin while simultaneously adding moisture to the skin. By massaging your skin, you loosen up the muscles and tissues, giving more room for blood to flow and for the tissues to repair themselves. This is especially important in the early stages of stretch marks.

Hi Sis Noe
Is it possible to get pregnant if I have sex on my periods? — Curious.
Reply
Though possible, it is highly unlikely that you will get pregnant during your monthly menstrual cycle. During your period, your body works to shed the uterine lining that it has been building up over the last month, in preparation for pregnancy. When you don’t become pregnant, small uterine contractions begin, encouraging the unfertilised egg and unused endometrium to be shed from the uterus and through the vagina. This means that there is no egg in the fallopian tubes to become fertilised and no lining to help a developing embryo to implant properly. This being said, there is a small possibility of pregnancy during your period. Women often mistake slight bleeding that can occur with ovulation as their period. Unprotected sex at this time can greatly increase your chances of becoming pregnant. Additionally, sperm can live in the female reproductive system for up to three days. Because some women ovulate at the very end of their menstrual periods, sperm may still be alive at this point, and able to fertilise an egg. The down side is that it may increase your chances of getting endometriosis. This is when the lining of the uterus is reattached somewhere it is not supposed to be. During intercourse the menstrual fluid containing freshly sloughed off endometrial tissue can be forced up the fallopian tubes thus blocking them and reducing your chances of future conception or may be forced even further and attach itself to any one of your organs. Most doctors will admit they do not know the causes of endometriosis but this is one accepted theory. Please be careful and know the only cure is surgery and this is usually not a complete cure.

Hi Sis Noe
Since I gave birth I don’t feel my man’s penis, he does not satisfy me. I fear that my vagina is now too big for him. Please help. — Worried.
Reply
After giving birth vaginally, it’s normal for the vagina to be larger than it was before, and this effect generally is more pronounced after the birth of a large baby. This is caused by relaxation of the pelvic floor musculature. These muscles will lose their tone with each successive birth, although pelvic floor exercises known as Kegels can help you tighten them up. Tighten the muscles at the front lower part of your body as if you are stopping yourself from urinating and adopt this hold for 10 seconds then relax and repeat and keep up for five minutes. Do these four times a day. Some women are not comfortable with exercise and that’s their choice but if you really want to help yourself and keep muscles strong then pelvic floor muscle exercises are ideal for helping you to achieve this. Since this includes the muscle that you use to stop and start the flow of urine, you can check if you’ve identified the right muscle by testing your Kegel technique while urinating — if you can stop the flow of urine when tightening, then you know that you are contracting the correct muscle. But don’t actually do your exercises while urinating; just use that to check your technique. Sexual pleasures will become more intense as the muscles become more elastic and stronger. These exercises improve the bladder so that you will not leak urine. However, your vagina will not actually become smaller but the opening will be tighter and you will feel his penis like never before.
SOUL MATES
I am a lady aged 24 and a mother of one. I’m willing to have a man who is ready to settle down, his age should be between 28 and 32.
I am a 49-year-old man, who is HIV-positive, looking for a mature lady of the same status who is prepared to settle down.
I am a 37-year-old woman, who is beautiful, has a good heart, a professional, has one child, who loves the Lord Jesus Christ, who is looking for a guy who is strictly single please, a professional also aged 37 to 45, can be with one child or two or none and who is a Christian, needs a stable relationship and wishes to settle down. I am HIV-positive so he should be of the same status. Someone with order and focus and is serious. No married men!
I’m 35 years old looking for a caring and loving guy of 36-40 yrs. I am HIV-positive, I have one kid. Please help me get a guy who is a Christian.
Hey I am a single mother of two aged 30 and HIV-positive, am looking for a man aged 35-40 and he must be HIV-positive and working.
Hi, I am a guy aged 24 looking for a smart, funny Christian young lady aged 18 to 24 for a serious relationship. WhatsApp or call me.
I am a lady age 35, single and a teacher. I don’t have kids, am looking for a serious partner who is financially stable, a civil servant. He must be aged 35-50. WhatsApp me.
I’m a man aged 40 with two kids living positively. Looking for a lady aged 30 to 34 who is ready for marriage, a working one who’s not ill-looking.
I am still looking for a lady to marry, she must be 18-21yrs old, never been married before like me. She must be Ndebele and she must be in Bulawayo or Tsholotsho.
I am a man of 27 looking for a woman to marry. She must be 18 to 30 years old.
I am 21 years old, HIV-negative. I have one child, I work. I’m looking for a 22 to 30-year-old guy. I want someone who wants to settle down and is working, I don’t mind if he has kids or not, .
I am a 24-year-old mother of two looking for a man to settle down with in Bulawayo.
I am a 30-year-old man, looking for a mature lady aged between 35 and 40. I have tried dating younger women but discovered that they are very immature hence my preference for older and mature ladies. I stay in Bulawayo, hence I would naturally prefer someone also from the same city. I have a good job, love having fun and meeting new people.
NOTE
For the numbers of the above people, WhatsApp the number 0773111328. No calls. An SMS will not be entertained unless it is accompanied with airtime. Thank you.

Bucie

Peter Matika, Senior Life Reporter
SOUTH African RnB and House singer, Easy to Love hit maker, Bucie says she is impressed with the progress of Zimbabwean music, both locally and internationally, as it is fast gaining recognition in South Africa.

Bucie told Sunday Life in a brief interview at the recently held Golden Pilsener Afrofusion Concert in Bulawayo.

“I must say I am impressed with the progress Zimbabwean music has made over the last few years. It’s quite astounding to note that there are many women that are making waves in the male dominated industry,” she said.

Bucie noted that in particular she was impressed with Bulawayo female artistes in the music industry and hoped to work with them soon, stating that she had been following local DJ Liz’ work.

“I know of DJ Liz and I must say she really is a force worth reckoning, once she establishes herself trust me she is headed for superstardom,” she said. Bucie who is not new to Bulawayo said she was also impressed with the local entertainment industry and how people responded to shows. “This is just amazing; the manner in which people responded to this show was just amazing.

“For me the major highlight for the night was this one fan (male), who sang all my songs word for word. I was impressed and surprised at how a male person knew all my songs word for word. At one point I thought maybe he was going to mix up the lyrics but he kept going,” she said.

Bucie, who was one of the main attractions of the concert, said she was just a normal girl from “next door” (South Africa) who enjoyed life.

“I love the support my fans give me. I am not super woman, I too like any other artiste have feelings, get exhausted from performances,” she said.

The ravishing mother of one and soon to be married Bucie said she has been in the music industry for almost 10 years and that it has been quite fruitful, given the number of collaborations and tours she has done. “I’ll mark 10 years of being in the industry next year. I am working on my 5th album, as I give myself a year-long interval to produce and work on different projects,” she said.

Bucie said she was not affiliated to any stable or music house, as she ran her own — Bucie PTY Ltd.

“It’s easier to do your own thing but hectic, as you know this industry is consuming, mentally emotionally and physically,” she said, adding that she was eager to collaborate with Zimbabwean musicians.

Bucie recently opened up about her love life to a South African magazine, as she is set to walk down the aisle after her man officially proposed and paid lobola earlier this year.

Speaking for the first time about her engagement, the songstress confirmed the news.

“When he asked me to be his wife I first laughed at him because I thought he was joking, but once I realised he was serious, I cried tears of joy,” she told the paper.

Bucie added that she is head over heels in love with her fiancé, and that she had no doubt when he popped the question.

“There were no doubts about our love. I said ‘yes’ in a heartbeat,” she added.

Bucie’s fiancé also asked for her hand traditionally by paying lobola for her last month.

The singer, who is believed to have met her man late last year, has kept her romance safely guarded.

During an interview on Channel O’s TurnUp last week, Bucie explained that she will never “publicly introduce” her man to the world.

“You will never meet him. He is mine, and mine alone, and mine with my family and friends. You know how I like to keep my private life private,” she said.

Bucie has kept her private life away from the public eye after going through a devastating heartbreak in 2012.

@peterkmatika

Mandoza and Mpho

Theirs wasn’t a fairytale romance, but one of everlasting love and commitment. For 16 years, Mpho and South Africa music icon Mandoza shared a life together. They started dating in 1998 and got married traditionally in 2002.

When they first met, Mpho wasn’t impressed by his kwaito charm. Instead she ignored his advances and only after some time did she begin to pay attention. Bona Magazine details how they met at the same spot Mandoza had tried talking to Mpho at first.

Of their relationship and the beginning of it, Mpho would recall how they were just two normal people who were ambitious and trying to make things work.

“We used taxis or walked. Now when we think about it, we just laugh,” Mpho told Move Magazine. She also recounted how, when Mandoza was still an upcoming artiste, the first car he bought was a skoro-koro. She would help him push it after it broke down while they were on a date.

“I judged him initially, but when I got to know him, I was blown away by his personality. Very early on, he showed me that he could take care of me. He would bring me a chocolate or something small when he came by. And he always made sure to call and check up on me. I wasn’t used to that, so at times, it would irritate me. Even my friends joked that his attention was too much,” said Mpho.

About their relationship, Mandoza only had praises for his partner.

“I fell for her because I knew she was the woman that I wanted. She had the looks, and I saw her as my future wife,” he explained.

Their love story, however, was far from perfect and went through many obstacles, such as when the pair moved in together in 2002, and while they were busy preparing for their wedding, Mpho had to contend with claims Mandoza had fathered a baby boy with a 17-year-old schoolgirl, Lucy Komotolo, a year later. Around the same time, Mpho had a miscarriage, which Mandoza said was caused by all the bad publicity he was getting.

“I’m not fighting you, I can never fight you. But please Joe, respect me. You’ve already caused me so much pain that you’re not aware of. I’m 25 and trying to become a man, but you keep messing up my life,” Mandoza told a City Press reporter who had broken the story at the time.

They also made headlines in 2007 when reports claimed he assaulted Mpho at a shopping centre. She had found out about a woman he was said to have been seeing for almost two years.

While they had their fair share of controversial incidents, especially as a couple living in the public eye, Mpho and Mandoza admitted they wanted to part ways as a result.

“We’ve wanted to get divorced many times. When I got married, my uncle sat me down and told me that divorce was not an option in our family,” Mandoza said.

Giving insight into how they handled conflict, Mpho said they knew how to apologise to one another.

“He knows what to do when I’m cross, and I know what to do when he is upset. He always apologises afterwards, and I do the same,” says Mpho.

In 2008, Mandoza had to pay a cash settlement to the families of the victims who died in a car crash he was involved in. His Chrysler Crossfire hit a VW Jetta on the 14th Avenue off-ramp in Johannesburg, killing the occupants of the car. Mpho was by his side as he attended court cases related to the incident and when he was ordered to pay thousands to the families.

In 2013, the pair had to sell their mansion in the exclusive Eagle Canyon estate in the west of Joburg. They had come upon tough times and Mandoza’s career had hit a stalemate.

He wasn’t getting booked as much as he used to, and he, Mpho and their two sons had to move back to his mother’s house in Pimville, Soweto.

A City Press report quotes a record executive — who declined to be named — revealing Mandoza was having financial trouble:

“Financially, things have not been going well for him so that is why he decided to go back to the township. It is so sad that a person who has been leading a lavish life can fall on hard times so easily.”

Despite the tough times, the pair continued to stick together and managed to overcome their circumstances to build a strong marriage. They also came upon trying times when Mpho suffered a stroke. During an interview, Mandoza was by his wife’s side as she recounted the harrowing ordeal. The public came to hear how Mandoza would care for his wife as she tried to recover from the stroke.

When it was Mandoza’s health that deteriorated after he was diagnosed with cancer about two years ago, Mpho was once again at his side, eventually issuing a statement that her husband was ill and needed prayers.

On the day of Mandoza’s death, which was also Mpho’s birthday, he had wanted to cook for her as a romantic and celebratory gesture.

Mzwakhe Tshabalala, Mandoza’s uncle, only had kind words for Mpho and how she stood by him through thick and thin.

“Sister Mpho is such an amazing woman. Even in difficult times, she was there. Seeing her speaking to her husband’s lifeless body was like looking at a woman that was broken. She said: ‘I love this man. I love this man.’ She has remained strong,” he said.

Mandoza (38), who left behind four children, was laid to rest on Friday. He died last Sunday from brain cancer, a condition he was diagnosed of last year.

His first born son, Tokollo, said his father died a happy man after he accomplished all he wanted in life, one of them being there for his children. He said he told him “to be strong once he is gone.”

Below is list of his albums and solo tracks:
1999: 9115 Zola South
2000: Nkalakatha
2000: It’s All Right (with Tokollo and Kabelo)
2002: Tornado
2003: Mandoza
2004: Same Difference (with Danny K)
2005: Phunyuka Bamphethe
2006: Ngalabesi
2007: Champion
2008: Ingwenya
2010: Real Deal
2011: So Fresh
2013: Sgantsontso
— Source: Citizen/Online

Roki

Bruce Ndlovu, Sunday Life Correspondent
IN 2012, Rockford Roki Josphats’ mother, a devout Apostolic sect member, recalled an encounter in the young would-be urban grooves star’s life when he was in school.

According to his mother, the young Roki had turned up at Cranborne Boys High School, with his uniform inside out, with the pockets dangling at the side.

According to his mother, Roki merely wanted to see how people would react. It was a daring stunt that was witnessed only by the young Roki’s parents, teachers and mates — a private bit of mischief that only gained fame in his immediate circle.

Ever since he quit school and decided to pursue showbiz, his stunts have become a national spectacle. Pot bellied and not as nimble as his feet as he was back then, the young and rebellious Roki keeps rearing his naughty head time and again to a nation’s frustration.

His latest bit of infamy came last week when it emerged that he was on the run after he allegedly beat up his girlfriend, Nyasha Valerie, broke into her house and stole all the furniture before disappearing. Earlier in the year, his thoughtless violence had allegedly led to her miscarriage.

It was a bit of waywardness that cemented comparisons to American Chris Brown, whose continuing story looks unlikely to have a happy ending.

If there are two individuals that would be perfect candidates for residence at Wacko Jacko’s Neverland Ranch it’s Josphats and Brown.

Neverland Ranch is Wacko Jacko’s personal piece of heaven named after in the fairytale world of Peter Pan, the boy who never grew up. Brown and Roki’s stage acts, where dance is prized as equally as melody, is largely derived from the days when a healthy Jackson used to glide on stage to the thrill of thousands across the globe.

Both attained fame at an early young age, but the halo that used to surround them in the time of their youthful brilliance is fast fading as their antics over the years have provided ample fodder for tabloids while stretching the patience of the devotees.
Roki’s love-hate relationship with the public stretches back to his initial relationship troubles with Pauline Gundidza. At the height of urban grooves, the two were held up as an example of young love, a love that was willed on by thousands of Zimbabweans who expected it to bloom and flower into full promise in front of their TV sets.

Alas that was not to be the case and instead of that love’s petals flourishing and blooming in spell-binding colour, it wilted and died in the face of one public bust-up after another. A life lived in the spotlight seemed to have strangled the life out of their glamorous union. The jury sat and the court of public opinion deemed it that the two, especially the “boy” Roki, had been too young for a relationship especially with their chosen line of work.

Then came the chance at public redemption and image rehabilitation during Big Brother Africa Stargame. For a while, things went swimmingly, as Roki wowed Africa with his ability to be spontaneously light-hearted one moment and “deep” the next. His boyish exuberance seemed to contrast sharply with the other celebrities in the house who seemed to take themselves too seriously, even though they seemed to lack his analytical grasp of issues. The intelligence that music industry insiders had always been at pains to point out was there and laid bare for all to see.

For weeks, Africans were able to gaze and marvel at the goldmine that is Roki’s multi faceted mind as he jumped from one nugget of brilliance about the music industry to musings about his own life, all the while dropping gems about the much maligned continent.

But his boyish exuberance was to be his downfall again, as he failed to diffuse the explosive Maneta and allowed a minor scuffle to degenerate into a scuffle that led to their premature eviction from the house. The “boy” had not grown up after all.

The relationship with Ammara Brown was another chance for Roki to show that he had exorcised the demons that had haunted his high profile hook-up with Pauline years before.

However, this was not the case, with Roki last year indicating that their careers had rendered rivals, a couple who shared a bed but knew that come cockcrow they will have to outdo each other professionally.

“Ammara and I were two very strong forces that in the end seemed like were in opposition. The biggest thing about us is that we are both artistes, so we were usually pulling against each other,” he said.

The latest accusations of assault, suggest that a year later, there is nothing vastly different between Roki from 2006 and his current incarnation.

While his legal troubles are well documented, Chris Brown has also took enough care to make himself deity of sorts by quelling the critics with an endless stream of hits that just keep flowing.

His acolytes dare not stop believing in him or his talent. After getting away with brutally assaulting one of the world’s biggest pop stars, the only thing the man has not done is turn water into wine. With few of his hits and his oasis of patience with his antics close to running dry, it remains to be seen whether Josphats has the same immunity.